To dislike baby showers?

[CatThiefKeith]

Where have they suddenly sprung from?

They make my teeth itch. Of the three I've been invited to, one had 60 invitees (presumably to get 60 gifts, because some of the people invited were really only well off aquaintances) one had a bloody gift list with the invite and the other was from my old slimming club leaders daughter that I'd already given a travel system to.

Surely, if you want to buy somebody a baby gift you do it after the baby is born, and don't need to be summoned to spend an afternoon with people you don't know playing weird baby related games and trying to guess the birth weight?

And lastly, surely to god if you were having one you should invite you mum, who looks after your existing child 3 days a week while you work? narrows eyes at sil

[LunaLoveg00d]

I have only been to one and it was excruciating.

I wouldn't go to another, I save the present buying for after the baby is born.

[Voteforpedr0]

I've refused invites before as I find them grabby and indulging, I have however gave a gift and card when I've visited the baby. Funnily enough the same people I know who have had baby showers are the same ones that plaster themselves all over facebook in the same attention seeking manner as their baby showers.

[AdoraKiora]

They are hated on MN, but the ones I've been to have only ever been really lovely

[yorkshapudding]

YANBU. I love babies, love buying presents for new babies etc but can't stand the whole baby shower thing. The cheesey games make me cringe and it all feels like an excuse to be 'grabby'.

[CatThiefKeith]

YY to the Facebook attention seeking, along with pictures of piles of presents at the baby shower.

[AliciaMayEmory]

I've been to 3 or 4 and all have been lovely, non-grabby and a nice way to get together with friends before the baby comes and takes over their lives for a while.

YANBU to not like then, but just don't go to them. Not everyone is grabbing for gifts, some just want a bit of a get together.

[AliciaMayEmory]

Ps the first one I went to was about 12 years ago, so they've been happening for a while.

[Only1scoop]

Horrid and grabby and cringey....

Some mothers to be are now even arranging their own

Funnily enough went to my cousins in the USA and loved it but Leave their traditions where they belong....

Proms.....

Halloween

[TheCatsMeow]

It's not the grabby part that annoys me but the cheesy games and cutesy cakes really fuck me off.

I refused to have one despite one friend insisting that I should.

[meditrina]

You don't have to have games at a shower! It can be any sort of gathering, and the only thing that marks it out is the purpose to 'shower with gifts'

I don't like grabby ones (hosted by the honouree, or with a list because traditionally they were for closest friends and you can co-ordinate among them by the old-fashioned method of the host actually talking to people)

Or any expectation that the gift with be anything other than a small shower-type present (shower, not deluge!)

[CatThiefKeith]

My view is somewhat soured by mil phoning in tears last night as she hadn't known sil was even having one til the photos went up on FB. Sil is late 20's and mil is late 60's. I suspect mil probably wasn't cool enough for the 'quirky' and very expensive venue that sil had hired for the occasion.

[TheCatsMeow]

Is that why it's called a baby shower?! I've been confused about that for years...

I had an image in my head of an actual shower and didn't see the connection.

[Only1scoop]

Yes like the 'bridal shower' across the pond.

[RaeSkywalker]

I don't like them because of the expectation of a gift. Also my poor cousin had a late miscarriage which has made me a bit twitchy about giving gifts before the baby is here safely (though I appreciate that it is my issue).

I did, however go to a lovely event recently at which we all helped to make a patchwork quilt for the baby. No silly games, no presents, just a quilt and nice people to talk to.

[CatThiefKeith]

I imagine the Americans probably do it better because they've been doing it much longer.

I've only been to one and it was very awkward and disjointed and nobody really knew anyone else. Almost like somebody had seen it on tv and thought 'that's a good idea' but hadn't actually been to one so it didn't quite work.

[Whathaveilost]

Funny enough oi was talking to my son about baby showers as I was dropping him off at school. My opinion is I think it's nice for a close bunch of friends having a baby shower for their friend. All the photos I have seen on FB are young women in their 20s with their mates all excited about the forthcoming arrival of a baby and buying gifts ready for the arrival.

I think if it was around when I was having babies I would have liked one.
I don't think there is anything tacky about them - well I guess it could be like hen parties, birthday parties etc they can be as classy or as tacky as the group taking part.

I have also noticed it's not the mum to be that's arranged it but a close friend.
However I also love proms, seeing all the lads and lasses all dressed up looking forward to a night out together.

I also like Halloween parties and having loads of friends and kids around and watching ghost busters and eating pizza!!

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

I know someone who nobody would hold a baby shower for, because she's a grabby entitled bitch, so she huffed and stropped about having to throw her OWN one, because she's a grabby entitled bitch

[RaeSkywalker]

Cat that is awful- your poor MIL! Were you invited?

[BeautyGoesToBenidorm]

Rae, the quilt idea is lovely - I actually really like that, and I detest baby showers. It sounds so nice and personal.

[Pinkheart5915]

The ones I've been too have been lovely.
I wouldn't of had one but one was arranged for me and I did really enjoy it, was 12 friends, a cake that was delicious, a few mocktails just like a girlie day really.

[CatThiefKeith]

No I didn't know either, but was at work yesterday anyway, and tbh wouldn't have gone even if I could.

Mil is heartbroken though. Really really hurt. She didn't invite her mil either, who also does a couple of days a week childcare for her.

[AdoraKiora]

I've never been to a shower with cheesy games.

My mum, sister and best friends organised a shower for my first baby, 12 years ago now. I was the first of our friendship group to have a child, so it was exciting and nerve wracking, and the shower was just a get together of my closest female friends and relatives to wish me luck . We had lunch in the garden at my mums house in the sunshine and people did bring along small gifts for me (not the baby ). It was a really lovely day.

One of my best friends just had food and wine (for everyone else ) at her house. No games. There were gifts, but it wasn't in the least bit grabby.

I also organised an afternoon tea shower for another close friend. I got everyone to bring as a gift their favourite childhood book to start a little reading collection for the baby. My friend was chuffed to bits .

Baby showers are like hen nights. They're as good as the people who organise them and those who attend. I'm not being funny, but I didn't go on a pub crawl wearing a veil and a stupid tee shirt and snogging randoms for my hen night...doesnt mean all hen nights are shit, though

[imwithspud]

YANBU I don't like them either and didn't have one with either of my DC's. I would have been mortified if someone had organised one for me as I hate a fuss being made anyway.

I've been to one and it was okay, I enjoyed picking out a gift to give. But the games and the 'center of attention-ness' of it all seemed off for me. Mum to be was least impressed when all the partners including her own joined the party and I and a couple of other guests went to chat to them as we were friends with them also.

They're just not my thing, if I got invited to another one I would go but I wouldn't necessarily enjoy it.