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To banish DP at nighttime

(28 Posts)
MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 07:19:46

From our bed.

God I love him. He's a lovely man and we are very happy.

Except last night I was truly fantasising about clubbing him about the head with my hot water bottle (that is lighthearted by the way; I am not honestly going to descend into domestic violence)

I was just about to drop off to sleep and he does this ALMIGHTY convulsion (where you have a dream that you fall or whatever and jerk back awake again)

I thought he was going to come off the bed, I really did. I know he's not doing it on purpose and eventually I start to drop off (I'm pissed off though as it took me ages to get to sleep and I'm up for work at 6) he does it AGAIN.

Then all through the night, every five minutes, he does a mini twitch. Flings an arm. Jerks a leg.
Apparently he was dreaming he was a pirate confused they don't wake him up but they bloody well wake me up.

He always seems to do this on the nights we are both knackered. I honestly think I had about an hour and a half of sleep.

Can't go sleep anywhere else, except maybe the crappy sofa that pulls into a rock hard bed. That's tempting though. Except he'd be all sad and guilty and I'd feel horrible.

Ugh how can I make him stop?! It's Game of Thrones tonight and I'm too cross to watch it with him grin

Argh I'm livid and was badly in need of a rant! He's so lovely but he is a BASTARD when he does this, albeit an unintentional one.

QOD Mon 25-Apr-16 07:22:14

Punch him hard everytime
won't solve anything but you'll feel better grin

(Clearly I'm joking)

AvaLeStrange Mon 25-Apr-16 07:23:03

Bananas and tonic water are both supposed to help with restless legs - might be worth a try?

MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 07:35:27

See, I'm so shattered my title reads like an AIBU?

Banana and tonic water- that's his pudding sorted tonight grin

MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 13:51:32

Poor bloke says he'll sleep on the horrible sofa bed tonight. I'm torn between jumping for joy at the bed to myself and feeling guilty 'cause the springs on it will probably crack his ribs.

SonjasSister Mon 25-Apr-16 14:23:07

You need a beyter sofa bed/spare bed. Seriously. He doesn't want you to lose sleep, you don't want to lose sleep, even just Sunday nights apart could really help.

But maybe he should see a gp too?

Chloe1984 Mon 25-Apr-16 14:27:44

Sounds like he was booting someone off the plank last night! My boyfriend often dreams that he's playing football and the other night he did a big left footed clearance and his leg came crashing down on mine, I feel your pain OP! grin

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 25-Apr-16 14:35:13

Do you share a duvet? If so get separate ones. DH twitches a lot in his sleep and snores and grinds his teeth, I'd have divorced him (or worse) if we shared a duvet. It does help somewhat.

liz70 Mon 25-Apr-16 14:36:30

I too feel your pain, OP. What with being woken up by "D" H's snoring and loudly breaking wind throughout the night, the patio is looking like an appropriate eternal resting place for him just now. angry

crazywriter Mon 25-Apr-16 14:47:01

My DH has always twitched in his sleep. At first it would annoy me but I'm now very very used to it. Apparently, it's the brain making sure the body is still alive during sleep or something. I do feel your pain, though. It took me a while to get used to it. Now it only really annoys me when I'm really struggling to sleep and he just makes that worse.

MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 14:47:53

It's a small room and its a bed that came with the flat when we rented it but I would LOVE to get a new bed. I think at least we could try separate duvets. I am a light sleeper. He doesn't make noise but the twitching!

The thing is after I went nuts at him after the pirate dream at 4am he apparently didn't dare sleep so now he's gone really mardy and says he's shattered!

Lazyafternoon Mon 25-Apr-16 14:48:49

Aaaw I feel for you! DH snores REALLY badly and drives me bonkers. Luckily we have a spare room I can normally banish him to - but even that annoys me as to be that bad it already means he's already kept me awake for a good while, he'll winge about it, turn the light on so will take me ages to get back to sleep.

Agreeing in advance to sleep apart (it's him that has to sleep elsewhere as he sleeps anywhere, whereas I don't!) one night a week or if I have an early morning the next day really helps for us.

Helbelle75 Mon 25-Apr-16 15:02:44

My DH and I often sleep separately as it takes me ages to get off to sleep and he snores and twitches. It's the easiest way not to kill argue with him. I'm suffering from insomnia and a bad back during pregnancy and I can't be doing with him twitching and snorting everywhere.

MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 15:06:08

The thing is I feel like I'm on edge waiting for the next twitch or spasm, then I get more and more pissed off at not being able to sleep so lose any chance of going to sleep!

I loved him when we went to bed, wanted to kill him by the time I got up!

Helbelle75 Mon 25-Apr-16 15:26:16

Completely with you. My DH is the kindest, loveliest man and it's like kicking a puppy when I have to talk to him about it! But I need my sleep and don't want to hate him!

pearlylum Mon 25-Apr-16 15:42:43

OH and I only share a bed at weekends. wink
We have our own rooms and sleep apart through the week. Bliss.

MadHattersWineParty Mon 25-Apr-16 16:00:03

Hellbelle that's exactly it- like kicking a puppy!

He's so lovely but I did lose my shit after the tenth pirate-spasm! He's in a foul mood now as he apparently didn't dare fall asleep after that.

Oh at having my own room! We need to work on a promotion/windfall so we can rent a bigger flat! He only does this about 3-4 times a month to be fair but without fail it'll be a night where we are both so tired and in need of a good night's sleep!

Chloe1984 Mon 25-Apr-16 16:07:50

Lol at the pirate spasm!

iklboo Mon 25-Apr-16 16:36:20

I see your twitching & raise you arm dropped onto my face from a height. DH drops off with his arm bent at the elbow then as he falls asleep he drops it, dead weight, onto my head or face.

iklboo Mon 25-Apr-16 16:36:24

I see your twitching & raise you arm dropped onto my face from a height. DH drops off with his arm bent at the elbow then as he falls asleep he drops it, dead weight, onto my head or face.

iklboo Mon 25-Apr-16 16:37:16

See - so bad it made me post twice!

YelloRoses Mon 25-Apr-16 16:38:03

Be gratful you dont have to put up with snoring

Euphemia Mon 25-Apr-16 16:41:14

My DH sleeps like the dead. Totally still, no breathing sounds. I panic in case he's died in his sleep!

We can't win! grin

liz70 Mon 25-Apr-16 16:44:25

Come to think of it, why the fuck does anyone share a bed? It's fucking insane. We need a complete overhaul of housing designs. I propose two smaller interconnecting bedrooms - with a door between them - to replace the traditional master bedroom in "family" homes. Have a shag then fuck off (or tell OH to fuck off) back to ones own bed for a peaceful night's sleep.

Helbelle75 Mon 25-Apr-16 16:47:02

I completely agree liz. I've even said to DH that I've no idea why anyone would think sharing a bed a goid idea!

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