Aibu?

(57 Posts)
FrizzyMcFrizzface Sun 24-Apr-16 21:01:17

This is my first ever so please be gentle. I have flu. Feel really awful and have been in bed for 2 days. DH has been brilliant and looked after DSs really well (and me) but has given me a hard time about me suggesting he stays home from school (he is a teacher) to look after us all. He wants my parents to come but they don't live close and my DF has serious long term health condition and can't afford to get flu (he didn't have jab). DS2 is 3 and disabled and I am not well enough to look after him on my own. DS1 now also has a temperature and sore throat. DH has loads of 'events' going on at school tomorrow. AIBU to think that he should prioritise his sick family and stay home to look after us?

Crispbutty Sun 24-Apr-16 21:04:15

Yabu as him taking a day off would cause disruption to a lot of people. How old are your children?

Junosmum Sun 24-Apr-16 21:04:25

Yabu. He should sort provision for your son and leave you lunch and a bottle of water by the bed.

FrizzyMcFrizzface Sun 24-Apr-16 21:05:09

Sorry, forgot to mention there are no other local family members who can help.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Sun 24-Apr-16 21:06:20

Could DM come without DF, how far away is she?

Wolfiefan Sun 24-Apr-16 21:06:28

If you had flu I'm betting you actually wouldn't be able to post on MN.
You have a virus. Can just your mum come?

FrizzyMcFrizzface Sun 24-Apr-16 21:07:01

3 and 7. The main problem is with DS2 as he can't walk and needs carrying. I feel very dizzy and weak and don't feel it's safe.

QuiteLikely5 Sun 24-Apr-16 21:07:11

Yanbu work isn't everything, you and his family should come first, it is only a day off work!

PPie10 Sun 24-Apr-16 21:07:36

I too think Yabu and you need to get on with it. Your ds has a parent at home even though you aren't well, he feels he needs to be at work. Also why the 'events'? It's doesn't look good for him to cancel and drop everything at the last minute.

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 21:08:00

You can put together an Op which makes sense. I couldn't lift my hands out of bed when I had flu....

Dose yourself up and see if he can get home ASAP to take over....

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Sun 24-Apr-16 21:08:07

I know where you're coming from as felt crap during last school holidays and short had to work, I ended up paying for oldest to go to sports camp for the day so I didn't have to interact as youngest is just a baby. Have you got friends who can help? I think unfortunately yabu simply because your dh is a teacher and it's basically attend work come hell or high water. If your oldest is also coming down with it I'd try to get youngest looked after by someone else and have dvd day with oldest. Does dc2 attend a nursery? Could you pay for an extra day?

Crispbutty Sun 24-Apr-16 21:08:08

Could a neighbour or friend pop in to help?

Pinkheart5915 Sun 24-Apr-16 21:08:50

Let him go to work. You can always go straight to bed once his home in the evening.
I think your be ok looking after ds with flu

FrizzyMcFrizzface Sun 24-Apr-16 21:09:07

DM can't drive. Live in the middle of nowhere, no public transport. Am lying in bed with phone.

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 21:10:03

Can your dh pick her up and bring her over....she could hold the fort tmrw?

thesortingtwat Sun 24-Apr-16 21:10:32

Of course yanbu. Family first. However - it's not flu. No one with flu can get it together to post on the Internet. Dont dispute you feel shit though!

PotteringAlong Sun 24-Apr-16 21:13:16

Yup, yabu. He's a teacher, it's just not that easy (DH and I are both teachers). You haven't got flu because, as a pp said, you're posting on the Internet. You feel crap but you will cope.

witsender Sun 24-Apr-16 21:15:35

He's a teacher, easier said than done. I would normally say yanbu...but as a teacher...difficult. I think his suggestion isn't unreasonable.

EvansAndThePrince Sun 24-Apr-16 21:18:46

Pshh, don't you know mums don't get to be unwell?!
I jest of course. Sorry you're feeling crappy, I do think it's one of those situations where you'll have to battle through though as a day off for a teacher causes a lot of disruption.

pudcat Sun 24-Apr-16 21:18:59

You will probably feel a bit better tomorrow. If you really had flu you would not be on here because it knocks you for 6 and you cannot do anything at all.

FrizzyMcFrizzface Sun 24-Apr-16 21:19:42

Probably outing myself here but also have chronic vertigo which is exacerbated by illness and I feel too wobbly to go out/take DS2 to nursery/carry him downstairs. Our situation is a little more complicated than just straight flu and two children. I take on board what you are saying though, I just feel so ill.

parrotonmyshoulder Sun 24-Apr-16 21:21:19

This happens every time anyone has flu on mumsnet. A bunch of people claiming you're not as ill as they were so you can't have it.

Don't they understand that there are varying degrees of flu, just like there are of other illnesses. Or she might be just able to post (her OP probably took less than a minute to post). She may be managing her fever quite well with medication so can be lucid for a while.

Anyway, can your DH help find childcare for you and go to work as normal? Sounds difficult for everyone.

I

NeedACleverNN Sun 24-Apr-16 21:22:30

I don't think you being totally unreasonable
If you feel that ill that you physically cannot looks after your children then yes you need help.

Herschellmum Sun 24-Apr-16 21:22:46

Yes agree it's not flu, I had flu this year for the first time ever and I couldn't move, entire family came down and no one moved or ate for days.

As for your husband taking time off; of course in an ideal world that would be the answer. I have been really ill a few times in my life, recovered from surgeries and get virtigo attacks, when this happens my husband has to work, his work isn't very flexible. So I have to look after 4 kids and between 2-6, one with special needs. My father works and my mum is severely disabled, so it's just me.

I cope, please don't get me wrong, I have on number of items burst into tears at the fact I have no sick leave myself, the world still goes in and I'm forced to figure it out because there is no help for me, it sucks and I don't like it. However I do get through it.

I focus on the keeping the kids alive, I would get my husband to get fruit shoots or something similar (which the kids think is fantastic because they are banned either wise) and snack foods, Netflix gets switched on, nothing gets tired and we just cope with the bare minimum.

You do totally get my sympathy, it does suck big time, but that's part of why motherhood is so difficult. I don't think your husband should stay home, I do think if he can finish earlier or that he does some shopping is reasonable though. Hope you feel better quickly.

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 21:23:14

Can your Dh fetch your mum over could she stay the night maybe?

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