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To wake DH up at 8am every morning?

(53 Posts)
lilypadpod Sun 24-Apr-16 14:16:35

He has a month off before starting his new job. We're packing up the house ready for moving so there is loads to do.

I go to bed at 8-9pm as I'm up at 10pm, 1am, 4am feeding baby then up for day with baby by 5:30am every day. I'm used to broken nights. DH will help re-settle between feeds if needed and helps a lot during the day, but also has option of guestroom/earplugs.

Recently I've started waking DH up at 8am every day and handing over baby so I can get on with stuff (baby is clingy and grizzles after 5mins if left alone).

DH thinks it's U to be woken at 8 as he is 'on holiday' hmm
I'm fed-up as by 8am I've already been up several hours (baby is fed, washed, dressed and napped when I hand him over so all DH has to do is play with him). I am not a 'morning person' as he insists I just don't have a choice about the early starts. To me, 8am is a lie-in, a luxury I don't have!

I've suggested he goes to bed earlier, eg by midnight if he wants a full 8hours but he likes being up at night so often stays up until 2-3am angry

AIBU to keep waking him up at 8am?

Pearlmum1 Sun 24-Apr-16 14:18:24

No you are not BU when is it your 'holiday'?

HelenF35 Sun 24-Apr-16 14:18:37

Yanbu. Tell him to stop moaning, or take it in turns to get up with the baby.

MyFriendsCallMeOh Sun 24-Apr-16 14:20:40

If he's up til 3am why is he not doing the night feeds?

ChemistryHunt Sun 24-Apr-16 14:21:41

YANBU. 8am is pretty decent time to be getting up when you have children.

5minutestobed Sun 24-Apr-16 14:23:10

No YANBU! I used to do the same to my DH and then go back to bed until 9am. I think you should take turns at getting up at 5.30am tbh!

Fratelli Sun 24-Apr-16 14:25:28

You should be taking it in turns to get up with the baby imo. He doesn't sound like a good partner tbh. Why should you not get a holiday? He shouldn't get to shirk his responsibilities.

Shallowstreams Sun 24-Apr-16 14:26:10

He is massively unreasonable. He should be getting up at 5:30 every other day. Why on earth are you getting up every day? Even if you need to breastfeed you could then go back to bed. He sounds mean

Griphook Sun 24-Apr-16 14:29:42

No yanbu, my exdp used to work long hours but also had lots of time off, on his days/weeks off he got up when he wanted and went to bed when he wanted. Whilst I had to go to bed at 10 get up at 5 every single day. It chipped away at out relationship and caused lots of resentment.

KondosSecretJunkRoom Sun 24-Apr-16 14:31:56

YABU, hand baby over at 5:30 and go back to bed.

Arfarfanarf Sun 24-Apr-16 14:34:20

Not at all. He needs to pull his weight.

I assume you do all the night feeds because you are breastfeeding. Are you able to express at all (i know thats not always possible, i never got more than a dribble while others seemed to chuck out gallons 😁 ) so that he can do all the night feeds every so often to allow you to have an unbroken night's sleep once in a while?

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 24-Apr-16 14:36:02

You should be taking turns to get up with the baby BUT are you sure you need to be up that early? When my babies woke at 5.30 I treated it as a night feed and we both went back to bed afterwards... 5.30 is the middle of the night as far as I'm concerned.

someonestolemynick Sun 24-Apr-16 14:36:11

I was coming on to say yabu (not a morning person here) but in your circumstances it'a justified. Maybe compromise at 8.30 or 9am

ChicRock Sun 24-Apr-16 14:36:16


Your husband needs to adjust his sleep pattern to one that is more compatible with family life.

While he is 'on holiday' hmm he should be taking it in turns with you to get up with the baby at 5.30am while the other sleeps in.

I think you've posted about him before. This is the selfish arse that sits up gaming until the early hours then sleeps in till 9/10/11 then is fucking miserable until mid afternoon when he starts waking up properly?

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 14:36:50

And it not 'helping out' he should be doing it just being dad.

Are you 'helping him out' with everything you do for your DC?

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 14:36:58

And it not 'helping out' he should be doing it just being dad.

Are you 'helping him out' with everything you do for your DC?

Only1scoop Sun 24-Apr-16 14:37:23

I must really mean that grin

Friendlystories Sun 24-Apr-16 14:39:18

No YANBbloodyU! His choice to stay up late so his fault if he's tired when you wake him at 8. How nice for him that he has the luxury to choose when he 'likes' to be up, your sleep (or lack of it) is governed by your (and his!) baby. I agree with Pearl and Fratelli, where is your holiday? I would ask him that next time he moans.

Choughed Sun 24-Apr-16 14:40:11

YANBU shock tell him if you were both on an actual holiday it would be the the fair thing to do to get the fuck out of bed in the morning to LOOK AFTER HIS CHILD.

I'm gobsmacked. I think a public shaming is in order.

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs Sun 24-Apr-16 14:43:19

its his child too. so it would be more in his line to get off his ass and help you instead of denying his responsibilities while he's lolled off in bed.
another crap father. sigh

EweAreHere Sun 24-Apr-16 14:57:25

Wow. Just wow.

Your husband is truly a prize a*se!

I wouldn't be having any more children with him if that attitude continues ... and might not stick around with the current one!


Seeyounearertime Sun 24-Apr-16 15:00:47

If he wants a lie in then why can't he do the late feeds? He's up til 2 anyway so he may as well?

gamerchick Sun 24-Apr-16 15:01:07

I want to know why he isn't doing the night feeds if he's up till stupid o'clock? Assuming you're bottlefeeding mind and even then there are still things he can do if you're not.

CountryLovingGirl Sun 24-Apr-16 15:02:08

Sounds like my husband and he didn't change! My children are now 12 and 8 years so they now sleep beautifully. I was up at all times and my eldest was a very bad sleeper.
I was working too! I go back FT tomorrow (been part time since eldest was born) and DH is whinging he has to get up earlier (as I need to set off quite early)!

Some men are lazy and inconsiderate!

gingerboy1912 Sun 24-Apr-16 15:02:47

Yanbu op your Dh is.

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