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To feel totally freaked out that my fiance' s lodger is offering "tantric and sensual massage " in his house ?

(17 Posts)
Thebelleofstmarys Sat 23-Apr-16 21:44:40

Even as I typed that , I think I must be mad to even ask your opinions. It's so bloody obvious that anyone in their right mind would be freaked out.
This is my first post here though a long time lurker.
The background is : became engaged recently to my lovely man who lives in another UK country to where I am. We plan for me to move there with him in October , marrying summer 2017. In the meantime, he's with me half the month and.I've been visiting him at his home every two months, which is all my work commitments allow. He is semi retired.
I knew his lodger was a part time.self.employed masseuse and thought nothing of it until it occurred to me during the last visit I'd never seen a woman coming for a massage. Also- one of the men that came sort of looked sleazy . So I said to DP "have you noticed G never seem.to have women clients ? " to which he said -I thought a tad defensively- "well , a woman came once " so.I.followed that with " what type of massages does G give ? ? To which he quietly replied " I don't know ". So I told him of my suspicions and he's since told her she needs to move out by October before I move in "because we are going to.need our own space when you move in "being the reason he gave .
I have a gut feeling he knows exactly what she does.for a living and is therefore colluding with and.supporting a form of prostitution. After a bit of digging this evening, I have found her advertising her services on bloody Facebook , complete with his address and postcode , also on LinkedIn.
I'd like to believe he's naive enough not to realise what she's doing but find that hard to swallow.
He's also a devotee of Tantra and I can't believe that in the year she's been living there , this mutual "interest" hasn't been mentioned as I know ( because he's told me) they have discussed their views on sex.
AIBU to feel totally freaked out by what I've discovered tonight and.do I tell him about it ? Or should I just ignore it on the.grounds she'll be living elsewhere anytime.between now and October ?

StuRedman Sat 23-Apr-16 21:46:56

Moral objections aside (and I have loads), I'd be concerned he'd be liable for 'running a brothel' or some such charge. I'm sure it's illegal.

Thebelleofstmarys Sat 23-Apr-16 21:50:57

I have moral objections too and agree- if he knows - he is allowing illegal activities in his/our home.
I've googled tantric massage and it appears to be hippy-speak for a protracted hand-job...
I cannot tell you how utterly concerned and.fucked-off I'm feeling . Particularly as he may well have bloody lied to me.

Roseberrry Sat 23-Apr-16 21:53:54

Bin him off. Bye bye. Forgotten.

UptownFunk00 Sat 23-Apr-16 21:59:11

Is he called Brian and do you live in Hull? smile

UptownFunk00 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:00:05

But seriously he sounds a bit off - is he registered?

FifiRebel Sat 23-Apr-16 22:02:02

Yep I would hate it too. My address also comes up on google with tantric massage thanks to the previous owners business...I had a fun phonecall with Google trying to get it removed from the maps!! hmm

WellErrr Sat 23-Apr-16 22:10:47

IS THAT YOU BRIAN!?

I'd love another round of yoni-inspired names grin

WellErrr Sat 23-Apr-16 22:11:19

Someone find the thread for the OP grin

WellErrr Sat 23-Apr-16 22:12:09

Something along these lines OP?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a1729276-Yoni-Vaginal-Massage

WellErrr Sat 23-Apr-16 22:13:24

Ahh just read OP properly. It's lingam massage. Brian doesn't do those sad

Thebelleofstmarys Sat 23-Apr-16 22:17:12

At least you've brought a smile back to my face.
And no- I promise neither of us are called Brian smile

caroldecker Sat 23-Apr-16 22:18:43

Prostitution is not illegal.

unimagimative13 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:23:11

Prostitution on LinkedIn?

Quodlibet Sat 23-Apr-16 22:27:51

I don't think you can ignore it, no. It sounds from his response that he's fully aware and has been hoping that it can be brushed under the rug/you won't catch on.

Now you have I think you have to discuss it with him. My guess is you will learn a lot about him by his response. All of which you'd want to know before making the commitment to live with/marry someone.

UptownFunk00 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:36:56

Was ahead of you there Well makes a change with my brain.

Maybe if it's a different massage it's Brian's younger brother Simon from Kent smile

Thebelleofstmarys Sat 23-Apr-16 22:39:19

She's female and her clients appear to be exclusively male., which is what mad me.suspicious.

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