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(21 Posts)
RosieTheCat Sat 23-Apr-16 11:20:37

DP and I are moving house soon ish and have had a bit of a furniture swap around with family so that everyone has tables etc that fit
This has resulted in us having two spare cream reclining sofa's which were ours originally.
They have a few marks on them due to cats and DD but still in good condition so we offered them around friends and family for free as you do

Friend has excepted both the sofas but has now put her old recliner up for sale for £60, they have form for this, DP gave them some fish equipment for free which they then sold on and other things

DP wants -- me-- to confront them and say this isn't on and we will find someone else to have them for free or charge them the same for ours

AIBU to think that its their choice what to do with their old sofa and its our fault that we offered ours to them in the first place knowing what they are like and need to learn from our mistake

londonrach Sat 23-Apr-16 11:24:24

Dont offer anything to them free again!

HereIAm20 Sat 23-Apr-16 12:37:22

If they took your old stuff for free and sold it I would think that's not on. However you offered the old stuff for free so they can do what they like with their old stuff - I wouldn't connect the two.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 23-Apr-16 12:46:12

Your DH is being unreasonable.

Who cares what she did with her old sofa?! She prefers yours, which you gave her. So she's selling hers.

She's done nothing wrong and he is being petty.

Notso Sat 23-Apr-16 12:49:12

So you gave them a sofa. Meaning they had a spare sofa and they decided to sell it and you think they should have given their sofa away?
Perhaps they can't afford to give things away like you can.
If I give something away what happens to it afterwards is no longer anything to do with me. If I was unhappy for others to sell it then I'd sell it myself or ask for it back when they had finished with it.

BikeGeek Sat 23-Apr-16 12:51:11


Unreasonable would be taking your sofas and selling them on

Rudechoob Sat 23-Apr-16 12:59:00

Another mans trash is another mans treasure.

Be flattered they prefered your sofa. The cash for theirs has come in handy xx

idontlikealdi Sat 23-Apr-16 13:01:20

Maybe hey don't have room? I couldn't get worked up about it.

19lottie82 Sat 23-Apr-16 13:07:14

What do you care what they did with them? You don't want them back do you?

SabineUndine Sat 23-Apr-16 13:07:47

Well I would feel a bit : S but they have a perfect right to sell their own stuff if they want to and you certainly can't withdraw the offer. It's easier to give stuff away than sell it, after all.

Threefaries Sat 23-Apr-16 13:11:44

Why don't you donate them to Rachael's fund wedding raffle?

PPie10 Sat 23-Apr-16 14:01:43

I can't see that they did anything wrong. What did you think they would do with their current sofa to make place?

Cressandra Sat 23-Apr-16 14:07:35

Put the previous history aside. He'd look ridiculous complaining about her selling her stuff while receiving different stuff for free. However if they ever again take free stuff from you and try to sell it on like the fishing gear, THEN you do the confronting.

witsender Sat 23-Apr-16 14:17:24

Taking your stuff and selling it would be unreasonable. Selling their stuff to make way for your stuff isn't unreasonable. Do you think they should be offering to buy your sofa with the proceeds?

Arfarfanarf Sat 23-Apr-16 14:37:33

Did they participate in the swap round or just benefit from it?

Is he miffed because everyone is swapping bits round and they have just benefited but not swapped anything.

You've got several families swapping bits of furniture round, everyone gives something, everyone gets something except one couple who get something and instead of giving something - sell an item. So they have been given something and got money.

which isn't in the spirit of the swap.

Is that your husband's view?

hesterton Sat 23-Apr-16 14:53:32

We give stuff away because we're shit at eBay etc. What people do with it, or their old stuff is up to them. The second they take your gift, the gift has done it's job for both of you. Ask a Kondo-er!

Herewegoagainfolks Sat 23-Apr-16 14:58:16

Your FH is being unreasonable - it's their sofa - they can do what they like with it.

Similarly, once you have given someone a gift it is their's to do with as they choose. If you give someone a birthday gift does it come with a tag that says 'future ebaying forbidden'?

sooperdooper Sat 23-Apr-16 15:02:19

It wasn't on them selling in the stuff you'd given them before but what they do with their old sofa is none of your business and your DH is being very unreasonable to suggest it is

RosieTheCat Sat 23-Apr-16 16:40:54

Arf they get the benifit from the swap but never participate

Notso they actually earn more than we do

Glad you all agree with me smile will be showing Dp this when he gets home so he quits nagging me

Friend does have a history of being bad with money and it wouldn't surprise me if this close to the end of the month they were struggling but this is to do with excess spending rather than not earning enough

It does anoy me that they never pay it forward with regard to free bits but that's my problem and I should just give the bits to charity instead next time

Arfarfanarf Sat 23-Apr-16 16:46:03

see that would actually bother me. I'm going to stand in the meanie corner with your husband. grin

It doesn't seem right to have a big family furniture swaparound but have one party receive but not give then use it to make a few quid.

I'd just leave them out of the swapround. It feels like they aren't entering into the spirit of it.

If there's just me and your husband in the corner, will we get a coffee or anything or should I bring a flask?

Arfarfanarf Sat 23-Apr-16 16:47:10

sorry. partner.

I appear to have married you off.


Vicar Arf.

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