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aibu son being bullied by friends gran

(44 Posts)
upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:08:19

Hi just came her to rant i'm really upset,my ds has started walking to schoool on his own on his way he calls in for his friend.Yesterday his other friends gran came out and asked them to walk up with her grandson.
The boys waited a while then the boy's mum who my son always walks with told them to get a move on so they weren't late.
My ds arrives at school and the gran went up to him and told him off for walking off without her grandson and then told my ds he was not invited to her bbq.
My ds wasn't bothered as he knew nothing of the bbq.what i'm disgusted with that she chose to pick on a 9 year old bully him by excluding him from something all his friends were going to,incould tell my ds was upset as he could here all the kids playing in the street.
Aibu to give her what for my dh is equally repulsed as she has form from excluding other kids in the past,but thinks the best thing is to ignore her.What would you do?

ohtheholidays Thu 21-Apr-16 09:12:24

No I wouldn't fucking ignore it.I'd be telling the school as well OP if she did that on school property.She was well out of order!and if she's olde enough to be a Grandparent she should be old enough to know better.

I hope your poor DS is okay bless him,I bet that was really scary.If you know when the BBQ is I'd be inclined to take him out somewhere lovely when it's on and spoil him rotten.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:12:35

Seems to be a misunderstanding, why didn't the boys tell the mother that the GM had asked them to wait?

Did the GM know the other mother had told them to hurry?

The GM grandson might have been upset that the boys had left him?

honeysucklejasmine Thu 21-Apr-16 09:13:12

So, she asked them to wait for her grandson, but he took so long to come that they left without him, for fear of being late? Perfectly reasonable, although I would have warned the grandson before going. But I am twenty years older than your son, so wouldn't expect him to consider that.

She sounds very unreasonable but I wouldn't "give her what for". You say your son wasn't bothered about the BBQ. So no need to.

Shrug. Move on. Reassure your son he didn't do anything wrong. Maybe invite some friends over for him to play with another time.

Spandexpants007 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:15:14

It's not bulling. He was told off for bit waiting for her grandson. She should have spoken to an adult though. Or planned to get her grandson ready faster!!

curren Thu 21-Apr-16 09:18:32

It's not bullying. It was a one off event.

She was rude and shouldn't have done it.

Don't blow up at her. Speak to the school if it happened in school time or school grounds, if you must.

If you know the mother that told them to go, mention it to her and see what she says. Perhaps she didn't tell them to go. Find out what actually happened.

Or if you are really upset by it, go and speak to the woman yourself.

It was a misunderstanding and she was wrong to do it. But don't turn it to something it's not.

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:19:37

My ds has just started walking up he is really worried about being late they waited 10 minutes on him, this I know is true as I spy behind my bush seeing he gets up ok blush

SheHasAWildHeart Thu 21-Apr-16 09:26:15

You hide behind a bush to spy on your son?

SheHasAWildHeart Thu 21-Apr-16 09:27:17

Speak to her and clear up the misunderstanding.

As a school governor, I would also add that this really isn't worth bothering the school with either.

ohtheholidays Thu 21-Apr-16 09:27:48

Bless you grin perfectly normal I'd do the same as well.

MattDillonsPants Thu 21-Apr-16 09:29:53

Fine to spy! I do.

I would say something! I just would...the silly woman!

BarbarianMum Thu 21-Apr-16 09:33:08

Ds1 has started walking to school with a friend this year (he meets friend halfway there). He wears a watch and the deal is friend meets him b/w 8.25 and 8.30am. If no friend by 8.30am then ds1 keeps going.

Maybe suggest something similar if this boy is really a friend of your ds? They will walk with him but he has to be ready by X or they go without him.

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:35:46

Yes I do watch him as I live in a village where the speed limit is 20 and most cars do 60, as unsaid we are both new to this. I only make sure he gets his friend then go in

diddl Thu 21-Apr-16 09:43:17

If you were there & saw it, why didn't you just speak to her?

WorraLiberty Thu 21-Apr-16 09:47:27

It sounds a bit confusing but were you standing behind a bush for 10 minutes, watching all this?

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 09:47:41

I didn't see it I live on a main road they live in a cul de sac of the main road. I can't see the cul de sac or the school from my house

Divathecat Thu 21-Apr-16 09:59:18

Its not bullying, if she is having a BBQ its totally up to her to invite/or not whoever she wants.

curren Thu 21-Apr-16 10:01:43

I spyed on Dd for the first few days too.

But you weren't close enough to say that what your son has told you is 100% true or accurate.

Speak to the woman and find out what the issue is

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 10:02:13

Why did she tell him about it then he didn't know anything about it until she told him he wasn't invited? Sound like manipulation to me of a 9 year old child, in my book that's pretty horrible behaviour towards a child

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 10:03:46

The issue isn't about her bbq it's about the way she spoke to my child without knowing the facts

SoupDragon Thu 21-Apr-16 10:04:03

It's not bulling. He was told off for bit not waiting for her grandson


upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 10:08:28

The my son friend always by told off though only my ds, they both made the choice not to wait and be late for school

upsetmum2 Thu 21-Apr-16 10:17:26

That should read my ds was told off but nothing was said to his friend

CiderwithBuda Thu 21-Apr-16 10:24:15

He wasn't bullied. He was told off unfairly.

If I was you I would go and speak to the gran calmly and just say "DS was a bit upset yesterday that you told him off for not waiting. He was told to get a move on by another mum as they were going to be late which is why he and X didn't wait. Just wanted to explain what had happened. Bye."

TiffanyBonj Thu 21-Apr-16 10:26:10

Like others have said it isn't bullying, it was a one off telling off. I would just meet the grandmother and explain that leaving her GS wasn't intentional and then offer to add her GS to their morning walks, although it couldn't be helped he was probably upset at being left behind.

Spying the first few days is normal but why were you hiding behind a bush 😂 .

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