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To change hotels

(15 Posts)
shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:29:49

I'm a lurker normally but today have been second guessing myself and have seen some good advice here so thought I'd see if I was being unreasonable.

Me, dh, bil and sil have all been invited to the same wedding out of town. Bil and sil sorted out their hotel a while back and I sorted ours out at the weekend. There are two hotels that are closest to the venue and I knew sil and bil were booked into one of these but weren't sure which one.

Speaking to sil at the weekend and it turns out we are booked into the same hotel, so told sil this. I instantly got the vibe that she wasn't too happy about this. Perhaps because she wanted to be alone with bil. I'm fine with this but now feel like we'd be imposing. I also got the impression that sil was subtly gutted we had been inHvited to the wedding too.

So taking all this into consideration, I have cancelled the hotel and booked another one (no money lost as book now pay later). If I'm completely honest, I do quite like the idea of us being alone in the hotel because we'd be spending all day socialising so we can get up in the morning and enjoy a child free breakfast which is very rare.

So...I've told dh I've changed hotels and he seemed really pissed off, when I explained itd be nice for us to be alone after spending the day at the wedding, his words were "why do you always want to be alone?" I'm like blush We very rarely get time together and neither do bil and sil so thought I was doing us all a favour?? Have I got this completely wrong?

Also, I have no problem telling sil that we've changed hotels by explaining that I understand time together is precious so by changing hotels we get a little bit of alone time before coming home to reality! I 100% know that she'll be glad I've changed!

Shall I leave it as it is or swap hotels back??

MorticiaLiverish Wed 20-Apr-16 16:33:38

I would leave it now but don't really understand why you swapped in the first place. Its not like you would be sharing a room with them, is it? Also its virtually guaranteed that other wedding guests will be booked into one or both of those hotels anyway so you will hardly be alone.

Collaborate Wed 20-Apr-16 16:34:30

That's just weird. Why would you bother with any of it?

What a fuss over nothing.

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:36:13

I just thought each couple would feel obliged to spend breakfast with each other, bil and dh are known to be super polite even its if not what they want to do.

Also, we only know the b&g at the wedding so sil and bil will be the only other people we know.

The reaction I got from sil was the thing that prompted me to change!!

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:36:44

What's just weird?

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:37:39

Also, not really making a fuss of it, sil doesn't know I've changed hotels so would take nothing to swap back.

Ameliablue Wed 20-Apr-16 16:40:35

I think the unreasonable but was not discussing with your oh.

Hawkmoth Wed 20-Apr-16 16:43:02

What if she's changed hotels as well?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 20-Apr-16 16:43:31

Maybe SIL was looking forward to alone time but it sounds like DH and possibly BIL weren't. If I did anything at all, I'd make sure he was happy with it first...

BiddyPop Wed 20-Apr-16 16:43:48

As SIL doesn't know of the change, ask DH what does he want to do as either is possible.

Then, depending on which HE would prefer, make those arrangements.

It is more important that DH is happy and that you are happy.

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:44:03

Yes possibly's just I'm the one to sort accommodation out, dh never gets involved so never thought to discuss it. It's not unusual for me to just book something!

LotsOfShoes Wed 20-Apr-16 16:48:47

YABVU for 2 reasons:
1) DH should have a say in all this. It was NOT your place to decide this without him.

2) It's very very rude. If I were SIL, I'd be very wtf - my bil and sil actually changed hotels because of me?! You're also makinng DH look very rude and like he doesn't want to even be in the same building as his sister/brother (as bil/sil will presume that you made this decision together like any other couple - see point 1).

If my DP did this, I'd be fuming.

Collaborate Wed 20-Apr-16 16:49:33

It's weird that you acted on it. What's up with just shrugging and then not bothering them when you're in the hotel? If they want to be anti-social then just let them. No need for you to put yourself out to accommodate them.

Can you tell I always choose the option that involves least effort? grin

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:50:10

Bil was the one to sort out the hotel so even if sil wanted to change then I doubt he would now, but that's something I didn't think about.

Sorry to drip feed but bil is part of the wedding party so that leaves less time for bil and sil to have alone time, this is probably why sil seemed a little pissed off we were in the same hotel.

I'll ask dh and see what he thinks is best. I have no problem being in the same hotel but it was just sils reaction that made me change it.

shopaholic999 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:54:42 me, dh doesn't ever want to get involved in sorting accommodation at all and is just happy something is sorted, as in his words, if I left it to him nothing would be sorted. Also, this is the reason I posted on here, because you've give a different perspective on it and never thought of it like that.

I honestly thought I was doing (mainly sil) a favour by changing because she's expressed a dislike that bil will be off doing groomsman duties.

That would be dh's way of thinking too

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