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To be absolutely raging

(47 Posts)
Toomanyhyphons Wed 20-Apr-16 15:46:06

angry DD2 is now 7 months old and I've been back exercising regularly for about 3 months. I actually thought I wasn't looking too bad, my pre-pregnancy size 8 clothes have fitted me since DD2 was a couple of days old, but a woman in my spin class today "congratulated" me saying I'd "almost" lost all my "baby fat". This doesn't sound that bad but she then went on to say how she'd last seen me a fortnight ago and how i "looked so much better now" and I'd "really slimmed down". It's really upset me and I kind of want to punch her in the face even though I know she meant well. I really thought I looked OK up until this moment and now she has me doubting everything. As a past sufferer of eating disorders and still dealing daily with body issues it's really hit me hard. AIBU to feel like this? I feel like she shouldn't have said anything to me!

NynaevesSister Wed 20-Apr-16 15:48:04

You're back to a size 8 already? Wow I still haven't lost my pregnancy weight and my child is now 11.

11 years.

I expect this woman would hate me!

Ignore her. She's a twat.

MrsChrisPratt Wed 20-Apr-16 15:48:18

She is a dickheads. She's either jealous, or has no filter. Either way, at least you're a nicer person.

oldlaundbooth Wed 20-Apr-16 15:52:32

She's jealous.

That's how women are.

You should have said ' Yeah, you've a way to go though, but you'll get there, just keep going!'


DorotheaHomeAlone Wed 20-Apr-16 15:56:12

That's how women are. hmm

Ignore her she's an idiot but that is not reflective of all women.

CaptainCrunch Wed 20-Apr-16 15:56:20

"that's how women are", er this one isn't. Take your sweeping generalization and shove it.

CigarsofthePharoahs Wed 20-Apr-16 15:57:37

I had something similar last month. It was the way they were incredibly surprised that I'd lost weight that really got to me! It took me two hard slogging years to get back to my pre baby weight and shape and to have someone say "Oh you have lost weight all of a sudden, are you all right?" knocked me a bit.
The fact is, some people are utterly unable to deliver a compliment without turning it into a criticism. Jealousy probably does play a big part.

Lules Wed 20-Apr-16 15:58:40

I'm sure you look great. Ignore her. People say twattish things for no reason. One of my friends commented on the fact I still had a bump 8 days after giving birth.

RudeElf Wed 20-Apr-16 16:00:06

I remember my mum asking me what i was doing about my belly When ds was 4 months old. hmm

Ignore her. People are odd as fuck.

MrsChrisPratt Wed 20-Apr-16 16:00:58

'That's how women are'...CRINGE!!

Lumpylumperson Wed 20-Apr-16 16:01:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amy214 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:01:19

Im sure you look fine i cant for the life of me get rid of my lower belly sag no amount of exercise or healthy eating helps. Ignore her

VestalVirgin Wed 20-Apr-16 16:01:44

Your clothes fit you again? Well, that's very solid proof, isn't it? Much more reliable than some person's random opinion.

Besides, this obsession with having the body look like you didn't give birth is some toxic sexist shit. If you want to look just the same as before, that's your thing, but that other people act like it's some moral failure to let pregnancy affect your body ... seriously. That's such nonsense.

enjoyingscience Wed 20-Apr-16 16:03:08

Sounds like she is projecting like crazy. Don't let her weirdness change how you view yourself.

MTPurse Wed 20-Apr-16 16:03:24

That's how women are

Nope, Thats how Twats are hmm

cjt110 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:03:31

She sounds like an idiot but maybe, you were wearing something that showed your figure off better? I get colleagues at work "OH you've lost weight" Errr no, I've put it on but thanks. Just so happens I am wearing something perhaps more fitted/better suited to my figure when they say it.

Ninjagogo Wed 20-Apr-16 16:05:41

She was probably filter free grin my youngest is 2, thanks to split abdominals I permanently look 5 months pregnant. Few folk have commented, I care not.

EssentialHummus Wed 20-Apr-16 16:09:29

"Yes, I lose another kilo every time a jealous twat opens their mouth."

Buddahbelly Wed 20-Apr-16 16:13:31

What is it that give people the right to comment on other peoples weight once they have had a baby, I dont go up to susan in work and say hey lay of the biscuits fatty, because I have manners and respect for her and she can do what the hell she likes, But once a woman has had a baby its fair game to criticise her weight all of a sudden.

In the space of 2 weeks of having ds I had not only my Mil tell me I've nearly lost all the baby weight, but then my neighbour who I've hardly ever spoken to in the 5 years ive lived here, yet she felt it necessary to comment on how much weight I had lost - err yes, Id had a huge baby, been on a drip, stayed in hospital for first 2 weeks of his life with him as he was sick too, I lost weight through worry probably thanks for your concern.

My dad also joined in a few months later (after id put on a stone), saw him chatting to my brother and went over and said what are you 2 up to then, he replied, we were just taking about how much weight you've put on. Then he laughed. He thinks I laughed along but instead i came in and cried for a good 2 hours and think about it constantly and comfort eat when i feel upset.

Ignore them OP, to get back to a size 8 you've done fabulous and more than i've done in 3 years!

getyourfingeroutyournose Wed 20-Apr-16 16:13:39

My "best friend" (male) once said to me "You look so much healthier now you've put weight on and have a pot belly... look at your podge it looks so cute"

It's okay though because I'm going to hold it against him for the rest of his living life and in the next life too.

SpoonintheBin Wed 20-Apr-16 16:19:06

Can I just ask someone, it's not clear from your post, she told you that you look better now than two weeks ago and that you have lost weight? Can I ask you why is that upsetting? If someone would point out out to me that I look slimmer than I did two weeks ago I would be pleased, not upset. Unless I don't understand your post.

eatsleephockeyrepeat Wed 20-Apr-16 16:19:10

What she said to you is a reflection of how intensively and insensitively she scrutinises people's bodies, not how you should, and certainly not how it is healthy to.

It might be easy for her to reduce the body the carried, grew and delivered your child to a collection of publicly debatable acceptable and unacceptable parts, but this is your precious baby's mummy, every inch of which is wonderful!

What a twat, I bet you look amazing.

Tatiana11235 Wed 20-Apr-16 16:19:19

Why don't you concentrate on the part where she said that you have slimmed down and look great? What's wrong with that?

HanYOLO Wed 20-Apr-16 16:20:14

Probably she was trying to pay you a compliment but it went wrong.

Don't let it get under your skin, put it out of your mind.

GinaBambino Wed 20-Apr-16 16:21:46

My sister used to get this a lot! She didn't look pregnant until the week before her DD arrived and left hospital in skinny (non-maternity) size 8 jeans. Yes I called her a cow (but I'm allowed) but she worked damn hard to lose any weight she put on, which wasn't a lot at all! She looks fab and we all tell her so.
This woman was just very odd, I would never say to a recent mum 'oh you've done so well to lose baby weight' why is it such a big deal for women to 'lose weight' so soon after having a baby! If you're happy and baby is happy that is all that matters. Ignore her and carry on being awesome!

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