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To think that people ask before posting your dc photos on Facebook?

(21 Posts)
Dummykiss Wed 20-Apr-16 12:23:40

What's etiquette here?

I think that family and in laws etc should ask the parents if it's OK to post pictures. Unless they are certain that the parents are ok with it.

Especially if the parents aren't on Facebook themselves or never put up pictures themselves.

I know that some people are fine with it and others aren't (with or without good reason), but you check first, right?

DerelictMyBalls Wed 20-Apr-16 12:39:39

YANBU. But it's a good idea to mention the no-Facebook thing when they are taking the pictures.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 20-Apr-16 12:42:39

I'd think it would be more normal to let people know if you have an issue rather than expecting them to ask.

Itinerary Wed 20-Apr-16 12:48:07

YANBU. I agree that people should ask, it's the polite and considerate thing to do.

Itinerary Wed 20-Apr-16 12:48:55

I know that some people are fine with it and others aren't (with or without good reason)

Just "I don't agree with it" is a good enough reason.

WeAllHaveWings Wed 20-Apr-16 12:51:17

assuming there are no specific problems with child protection for that child I think in this day and age if you have a problem with your (clothed) child's photo being shared you should ensure photos are not taken of them and everyone they have contact with knows this.

do you have a problem with your family posting pictures of your dc?

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 20-Apr-16 12:54:53

My DS's godmother posted dome pics of my DS I just asked her to make sure they were shared with "friends" and not a wider audience. She got rather stroppy, said I had gone mad and said she'd just take them down in a huffy manner sigh.

YANBU

BettyBi0 Wed 20-Apr-16 12:55:08

YANBU. It's polite to ask at the time of taking photos if you are planning on putting them on FB or anywhere public really.

It's perfectly ok to say "can you not tag me if DC are the background of any shots as I'm keeping them out of social media for now?"

(I have a friend who always snaps away when our kids are on play dates and she posts all the pics where her DS looks adorable and my DC is having errr.. less photogenic moments. Pisses me off no end!)

meganorks Wed 20-Apr-16 12:56:19

Yeah I think you should say really if you aren't happy with it. I put up a pic of a friends child without realizing she didn't want pics up. Obviously I took it down as soon as she asked. I just didn't think about as she is a prolific Facebooker so it never crossed my mind she would care. There were some pictures of when we had a been away somewhere and there was one really lovely one of her DD, so I posted it so she would see it.
Incidentally she now has 2 and has clearly given up on this and regularly posts pics of both!

Katedotness1963 Wed 20-Apr-16 13:02:01

I don't post pictures of my kids friends without parents permission. My husband took the boys and a couple of their friends to a concert and took pics. Afterwards we asked the parents if we could put the pics on FB, one said yes, the other never answered, we just shared the pictures by pm with them and kept them off FB.

ShatnersBassoon Wed 20-Apr-16 13:09:17

I agree that the onus is on you to make your wishes known. Seeking permission to show off family snaps isn't on most relatives' minds, I wouldn't have thought.

Imaginosity Wed 20-Apr-16 13:15:44

No - the onus is not on you to make your wishes known.

It's easier for the person who wants to post a picture to just make sure the parents of the child are ok with it.

Otherwise you would have to go around warning everyone if you were out with a big group on the off chance they'd take a photo and post it.

Itinerary Wed 20-Apr-16 13:21:00

No - the onus is not on you to make your wishes known.

I agree. Why should you have to constantly look out for people taking photos that they might put on FB, when it would only take them a few seconds to ask you?

NickyEds Wed 20-Apr-16 13:21:38

I'd be pissed off if someone put a picture of my kids on fb. I think everyone in my immediate family knows we don't put pictures of them on social media. I think that the onus is on the person posting the pictures.

DreamCloud99 Wed 20-Apr-16 13:22:20

This annoys me no end !

I expect to be asked if its ok to post my DC pictures on social media - it's just good manners and a bit presumptuous to think it's ok.

I don't post pictures of my twins as they are too young to give me their consent - I'd be furious if a family member posted without my permission .

Toffeelatteplease Wed 20-Apr-16 13:36:16

I think the equiette is still developing.

I see many photos go up with the caveat email me for takedown requests. Personally I would message the parents and let them know it's there if they weren't on Facebook or they were particularly funny about online photos. If they usually don't mind I would just tag them.

I also think you need to be sensible about take down requests. Sending one causing hassle for other people and then posting your own photos of your kids later tends to not go down so well

goodenoughmum88 Wed 20-Apr-16 13:44:22

Have had this issue wil FIL. I post pics on my FB but have really tight security so only friends can see them. He's friends with ransoms and has no security so I asked him to take a pic of my DCs down. He was huffy but did so.
My friends and I always ask one another re; pics.

stugtank Wed 20-Apr-16 14:03:47

I post pictures of my kids on Facebook but only have about 40 friends and tight security.
I always ask permission before posting pictures that include other people's children- not that I do it often.

Pheobe1 Wed 20-Apr-16 15:19:29

A couple of years ago my sister got married. A few days after the wedding a friend of DSs posted a load of wedding pictures on her FB and tagged my DSis. Because I'm friends with DSis the pictures then popped up on my FB. One of them was of my fostered DS and my adopted DD. Just them, they weren't in the background of another picture. This woman doesn't know me or my children.
I was furious, she had no right to post a picture of two children she didn't even know.

RaeSkywalker Wed 20-Apr-16 15:26:52

I always check, it would be rude not to!

Toffeelatteplease Wed 20-Apr-16 16:02:44

He's friends with ransoms and has no security so I asked him to take a pic of my DCs down.

Would have been politer to tag yourself in and then up the privacy settings on the photo so they were to your satisfaction. Not surprised he was huffy.

Either you never post photos of your child online or you do.

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