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AIBU to not split the bill?

(79 Posts)
NYC23 Wed 20-Apr-16 09:39:08

I went out for lunch with some friends, 6 of us, to a nice place in Chelsea, and we ordered off the menu (not a set menu).
The other girls had starters and I did not. I was also driving so drank only tap water. 4 of the girls had cocktails, at £14 a glass and wine or prosecco...
I only had my main and then obviously would pay some money for a tip.
The bill came and someone said "shall we split it 6 ways - it's easier" I had a quick look at the bill and mine came to £18, and everyone else's was over £50...
I said that in different circumstances I would usually be happy to split if we had all had a similar amount but I wasn't happy to split it on this occasion...
I felt like I was being judged and one of them was really snappy with me about it.
AIBU to not just agree to split the bill? I thought I was ok to say no but now I'm second guessing myself :/

whois Wed 20-Apr-16 09:42:18

Didn't we have an exact same thread last week?

No you were not U. The only people who might think you are U are people who like ensign subsidised by other people.

Salene Wed 20-Apr-16 09:42:47

Basically there trying to get you to pay for their night out

I'd of told them to sling there hook

Bloody chancers

ohmywhatamisaying Wed 20-Apr-16 09:43:34

Just reading the subject line alone, I can say YANBU.

Bill splitting is lazy and almost always initiated by the person who consumed the most

kilmuir Wed 20-Apr-16 09:44:13

That's a huge difference in price. Shame on them thinking you should pay same amount

SaucyJack Wed 20-Apr-16 09:45:30


It's a bit petty to get the calculator out if you all had the same thing and there's pence in the difference, but you were not wrong to not want to sub somebody else's cocktails.

Maidofrohan Wed 20-Apr-16 09:45:37

Nope, YANBU. I'm teetotal and no way would I be happy splitting a bill equally when people have been spending a fortune on alcohol. I pay for what I ordered and put in extra for tips. Luckily, my friends would do similar. smile

SerenityReynolds Wed 20-Apr-16 09:46:40

YANBU. The difference in the cost of your meals was huge! Cheeky mares angry

QuiteLikely5 Wed 20-Apr-16 09:46:52

Yanbu do not second guess yourself. Anyone half decent would understand you paying less when the bill was so high!

tootyflooty Wed 20-Apr-16 09:47:44

totally agree with ohmywhatamisaying, why on earth should you subsidise them, I can't see how that is reasonable which ever way you look at it. You absolutely did the right thing.

YorkieDorkie Wed 20-Apr-16 09:48:11

I'm a fan of splitting the bill as you all "shared an evening" and you're dividing the whole experience of being with friends regardless of the individual price. However you ate a vastly different meal to your friends... If I'd been there I'd have noticed that you didn't share in the same meal - certainly when you ordered tap water! And I wouldn't have tried to make you pay for more.

Vixxfacee Wed 20-Apr-16 09:48:27

I will bill split if we all have roughly the same thing. Definitely not if others are drinking.

I once went for a meal with about 16 people. A few people left but had asked what their bill was, left the money on the table and went.

The bill came and people wanted to pay for what they had eaten only. Only the first people who had left hadn't taken into account the service charge. Cue mass hysteria by people complaining about service charge and not everyone paying and working it out by penny.

Osmiornica Wed 20-Apr-16 09:49:20

A couple of quid between you then yes, split the bill but yours was vastly different so no, I wouldn't have split it either so yanbu

BlueMoonRising Wed 20-Apr-16 09:49:46

YANBU in this instance. Not at all.

Why should you subsidise their drinking? By my rough guesstimate they would be looking for you to pay way more than double than the cost of what you ordered.

PrettyBelle Wed 20-Apr-16 09:49:48

Well, if you say that there were 6 of you, and 5 people's share came to over 50 each whereas yours was 18 - it would mean that the total would be around 280. Divided by 6 (if the bill were split) it's 47. If each of the 5 friends paid their share it would be, as you say, over 5. So the difference FOR THEM is quite small - huge for you. Why would they judge and get snappy?

Osmiornica Wed 20-Apr-16 09:51:15

sharing the experience is all well and good if you earn the same or have loads of money but if you're on a budget and pick items accordingly then it's bloody annoying to have to subsidise everyone else when you couldn't afford to treat yourself.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 20-Apr-16 09:52:19

I definitely wouldn't want to pay for other people's cocktails, sod that

ohtheholidays Wed 20-Apr-16 10:06:08

YANBU who ever was off with you was though.I bet they wouldn't be happy if it was the other way round.

DustOffYourHighestHopes Wed 20-Apr-16 10:07:04

Sharing is only fine if everyone agrees and has roughly equal amounts. Or if everyone is wealthy and doesn't care.

andintothefire Wed 20-Apr-16 10:08:12

I always try to split it separately between those who are drinking and those who are not. But to be honest, I have never had an issue with splitting the bill between my friends. I am always amazed at the number of MN threads on the topic! I just feel grateful to have friends who are a) sensitive to the fact that some people have less money and so don't get at all offended when a friend suggests just putting in what her meal actually cost, and b) relaxed about paying a few extra quid to make things easier as part of a nice time out socialising!

lorelei9here Wed 20-Apr-16 10:09:51

Yanbu and they are seriously rude and inconsiderate.

shoeaddict83 Wed 20-Apr-16 10:09:53

ynbu - I have 6 close friends and when we go out if we all drink etc then fair enough we split the bill, otherwise we pay for what weve had as its unfair else to the person not drinking or having less courses!

its not even a few quid - its 3 times the price of what you had which is ridiculous.
Sorry but selfish friends imo!

blindsider Wed 20-Apr-16 10:13:35

The real problem is your friends should be aware of the anomaly between the presented bill and your share of it.

acasualobserver Wed 20-Apr-16 10:13:37

If people have, broadly, consumed similar amounts, then I'm favour of bill splitting - wrangling over small sums can rather take the shine off an evening. However, in situations like the OP describes, those for whom splitting the bill would be fair should themselves exclude from the arrangement those for whom it would be unfair. In other words, it's up to the bill splitters to notice and do something about it.

acasualobserver Wed 20-Apr-16 10:15:28

X-post! Your explanation much better too blindsider.

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