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To think meeting someone is now going to be really hard?

(12 Posts)
purplemoonlight Tue 19-Apr-16 19:27:03

Hello, have name changed for this as I'm a bit embarrassed to be honest and don't want too much info under one name, but:

- have recently had my LTR end sad There were all sorts of factors leading to this - I wanted to quit teaching and move into something different (but related) and he wasn't at all supportive of this. I think it's fair to say this difference of opinion was our main problem, in the end.

- I have a prolapsed disc. This means my gait is odd, uneven, and to be honest, makes me look a bit stupid. I still have a vague hope this may be temporary.

- because of above I am in a lot of pain most days, I don't get to do the things I once enjoyed.

- I don't have a permanent job <sigh> which means I feel kind of - rootless. And sometimes very lonely.

I have some lovely friends but they are a bit spread out and BUSY sad obviously I don't want to add to someone's stress by insisting they see me! They have babies and toddlers. I love my friends children but it makes me want my own so much.

I also really don't want to be a step mum: sorry if it makes me sound awful but am just trying to be honest.

So - AIBU to think meeting someone at my age (mid 30s) will be almost impossible? And encouraging stories would help.

This must be the only post where I actually want to be told I definitely am being unreasonable smile

Seeyounearertime Tue 19-Apr-16 19:31:04

I definitely am being unreasonable


basically if i can meet someone, any bugger can.
I'm awful... just awful, and yet my GF still loves me, we have a great DD together.

chin up chicken smile

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 19-Apr-16 19:35:46

My friends met at 39ish and had a baby at 41ish then married at 46ish.

purplemoonlight Tue 19-Apr-16 19:45:52

Thank you smile

Keep 'em coming - and HOW?

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Tue 19-Apr-16 19:47:04


Met my now husband at 36 with 4 kids in tow happily married and now have 6 altogether 😂

TheSockGoblin Tue 19-Apr-16 19:52:36

YABU. There are plenty of people out there who don't want a step-mum as a partner, and who wouldn't be as crap as to judge how you walk due to pain.

My best mate is getting married soon and has just turned forty. Me and my partner are mid-thirties and only met a couple years ago.

But mostly..if you think you can't and won't you have defeated yourself before even trying to meet someone new!

If your LTR has not long ended why not give yourself some time to grieve the end of it, and to just be solo for a while? Maybe the whole 'I won't meet someone now' feeling is stemming from the ending of your relationship which must still be quite raw.

give yourself some time and a break. flowers

purplemoonlight Tue 19-Apr-16 19:56:55

Thank you. I'll definitely be solo for a while as you rightly say it's still raw and besides, I do want to get my body and mind strong smile but I can't help my mind flick to the future.

BikeRunSki Tue 19-Apr-16 19:59:09

My DBro met the love of his life at a mutual friends 40th birthday party. Got married (2nd time for both of them) 2 years later. She had a 6 year old, he had none. They tried for a baby, but a bit late for them (she was 42 when they met), but - 10 years on - they are still happily together.

DoughNut12345 Tue 19-Apr-16 20:01:35

A lot of people use online dating, why not try that? I'm getting divorced soon and that's what I'm gonna do....

KitKatCustard Tue 19-Apr-16 20:04:05

I got married at the age of 53. And my prolapsed disc healed itself in time. (The two things are not related)

Nil desperandum.

Seeyounearertime Tue 19-Apr-16 20:08:16

you'll be alright purple

My meet up story is a bit different from some.

Basically i went to high school with my GF, back when we were 15. We split and finished school, went on to live lives without ever really knowing each other. She got involved with a guy and had 2 kids. i got hard of heart and callous of soul due to self imposed isolation due to many self diagnosed mental problems. I did get married eventually though, to a horrible and abusive woman. When that relationship broke down i discovered Facebook, something my ex wife didn't allow me to have. on there i spotted my old ex from 20 years previous and sent her a friend request. she accepted, we met up for a drink, we chatted, we had more dates and eventually fell in love. now she's happy, i'm still mental, she copes well though grin and we have a gorgeous DD whos now 3.

Life has a way of sorting out.

M00nUnit Tue 19-Apr-16 20:14:36

I met my DH when I was 37 and we got married 10 months later. The idea of being a stepmum had never appealed to me before but his 2 DCs (whom we have most weekends) are brilliant and hilarious and I can't begin to tell you how much they've enriched my life.

One of my best friends finally met the right man at aged 38 and she had their first baby three months ago at age 40.

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