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to think if you are constantly posting on FB how fabulous your DP / DH is and

(49 Posts)
SeptemberFlowers Tue 19-Apr-16 11:43:06

That there is an element of "The empty barrel rings the loudest ?" hmm

My fb newsfeed is full today especially of "Thank you <insert their DP/DH's name" for all the help, love and support you give to our lovely family/you are my rock/ other random love statement "

Is jt just me that gets a bit cynical about it all ? If OH has helped me out or been fantastic I tell him to his face, I don't post it on FB confused Why feel the need to constantly do it or do it at all ? What am I missing ?

Yeahsure Tue 19-Apr-16 11:45:08

Well this is a new topic! No-one's posted about this before wink grin.

UmbongoUnchained Tue 19-Apr-16 11:46:28

Because they want people to feel jealous maybe? I don't know.

I'm the kind of social media user that most people on mumsnet hate. I take selfies with my daughter and my husband. I take photos of things I find interesting and put them on there. I also share about my day and vent when I need to.
If husband had done something nice then I think it's nice to share it. I like seeing my friends happy and in sure they like seeing me happy too.

judgelionelnutmeg Tue 19-Apr-16 11:46:55

Deep rooted insecurity if you ask me.

EatShitDerek Tue 19-Apr-16 11:47:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Tue 19-Apr-16 11:51:05

I always think that these things are being usually being posted for somebody else's benefit.

For example, a prime example amongst my FB friends is the woman whose DP had been cheating posting loving, emotional posts knowing full well that the OW would see them. It was almost a way of stating ownership.

And yes, over the years, the most OTT couples on FB do seem to have been the ones to separate. Or at least have problems.

WorraLiberty Tue 19-Apr-16 11:51:06

These threads make me think the 'deep rooted insecurity' (if indeed there is any at all), definitely works both ways.

The people who moan about this sort of thing, instead of hiding annoying posts or deleting their FB account, are often probably just as insecure as those who post a status update every time their DH makes a cup of tea.

Roll your eyes and scroll past if it annoys you this much.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Tue 19-Apr-16 11:51:40

Sorry - an extra "being" there in the first line!

SeptemberFlowers Tue 19-Apr-16 11:52:06

Yeahsure Really has it ? Oops blush

I must come out of my cave a lot more !

dimots Tue 19-Apr-16 11:57:17

I'm not as cynical. I have a facebook friend who does this, but I know she has had a really bad time over the past few years and don't think her ex husband was very supportive (she never posted about him, good or bad). She now has a new husband and is obviously thrilled with him, so I think she is just genuinely enthusiastic.

Fishcake72 Tue 19-Apr-16 11:57:34

My SIL is so bad for this. Always makes me wonder what really goes on..

NeedACleverNN Tue 19-Apr-16 11:59:16

I do it occasionally.
Very rarely but it's usually aimed towards my family.

They are not keen on my dh and this is my way of saying get over yourself. He really isn't that bad! It's the only way I can do it without it looking like I'm calling them out.

MaryMaryQuiteContrary79 Tue 19-Apr-16 12:01:34

Posting about loved ones is one thing and my motto is 'to each their own'....what gets to me is those' inspirational quotes'....how very deep indeed...winds me up and then I have to remind myself 'each their own dear'.....my new motto 'WHATEVERRRRR'

FATEdestiny Tue 19-Apr-16 12:09:19

Someone on my FB feed was doing this. Until about a month ago...

- Constant made for each other, DH is amazing, our marriage is so strong, type posts
- literally the next day after such posts, suddenly fb name changes to her maiden name. Silence for a few days.
- then requests for local rented properties because she's moving out with DC
- then strong women don't need a man, glad to be single kind of posts.

This has all happened in the space of a week. Was bizarre to watch, although I do feel sorry for her. Clearly she was either bullshitting then, or she's bullshitting now. Or both.

Deeply insecure for sure. Although this woman likes to give the FB impression she is confident, well balanced with bags of self esteem. Probably an act. Sadly.

toomuchtooold Tue 19-Apr-16 12:21:33

I'm inclined to agree with this, not least because DH and I communicate n Facebook solely through sarcastic comments on each other's posts grin

It's the same with people who go on about how much of a blessing it is to be a mother. I always think they're posting it at about 4.15pm, glass of gin in hand, counting the minutes till bedtime.

arethereanyleftatall Tue 19-Apr-16 12:24:44

As far as I can tell, fb is inversely proportional to real life.
The better your life/relationship seems, the worse it actually is.

gingerbreadmanm Tue 19-Apr-16 12:26:26

Oh gosh my bf does this in real life, on texts, in person. It's a defence mechanism i'm sure.

I'm the opposite (my poor dp) but i would rather be that way than have rose tinted glasses on.

An example was her asking dp to come for drinks with a group of us last minute. He told her she can go and he will do something else. She went home. The update the next day all bright and breezy oh i havent had any good quality time with dp this week i needed to see my man. You live together ffs!

oldlaundbooth Tue 19-Apr-16 13:40:01

Insecurity. Gets my goat too.

Katedotness1963 Tue 19-Apr-16 13:44:37

I used to belong to a mums group online. Some of the women would post lengthy tirades about what utter bastards their husbands were and how they were going to leave the fuckers as soon as they could. Then they would post on FB about how wonderful the husband was and how they were the light of their lives.

Since then I've always assumed those lovey-dovey FB posts are a load of shite.

MissPunnyMany Tue 19-Apr-16 13:56:35

Three of the four women I know who do this have unhappy / frequently problematic marriages. The other is just lovely and I think it's just her way. Myself and DH have a running joke when one of us says something loving to the other of 'yes but could you put it on facebook or I'm not sure I'll believe you'. I don't want my marriage aired to all and sundry, we're very happy, but it's our marriage and I don't communicate with my DH on Facebook!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 19-Apr-16 14:00:31

Ynbu. I'm not face book so clearly don't nor wouldn't be bragging. I also think it's a case of "Keep telling yourself that.".

lateforeverything Tue 19-Apr-16 14:05:08

I have a friend who's dh is complete twat who has publically deeply embarrassed her in the past and yet on 14th Feb she wrote "I love being married to you because everyday is like Valentine's Day". Please! 💩

Claraoswald36 Tue 19-Apr-16 14:07:47

I'm not on Facebook but I recall a recently divorced dear friend posting that kind of shit back along when I was. So you are probably on the money wink

Uncoping Tue 19-Apr-16 14:15:39

Huh,
I don't post very often about my OH, but when I do it's because I'm genuinely feeling very happy & loved up and I just like to share it.
No ulterior motive, no agenda, no hidden meaning...
I just like to show appreciation for him every once in a while to my friends and family.

I have a very small FB, not hundred of people on it just connections that matter.

GreenishMe Tue 19-Apr-16 14:19:53

I have a friend who's dh is complete twat who has publically deeply embarrassed her in the past and yet on 14th Feb she wrote "I love being married to you because everyday is like Valentine's Day". Please! 💩

I know someone like this too. Her DP is a violent, aggressive, controlling waste of oxygen pig and she has a dog's life. Yet she posts really fawning messages about him and how much she loves him and how lucky she is to have him, on FB.

My thoughts are that she does it out of fear - to appease him - in the hope he'll be 'nice' to her for a couple of hours.

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