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To want help and a wee bit of recognition?

(2 Posts)
AgentPineapple Mon 18-Apr-16 20:59:32

I am a SAHM with twins and 5 year old DS. My DH has come home 'not feeling well' I had a particularly challenging day with the twins which DH knew. Despite that I cleaned the house, did the washing, ironing, dishes etc I also drop off/pick up our DS1 from school. DH went to bed and left me to organise dinner, baths and bed for all 3 DC. He never even asked me how I was or how our day was, just sat there with his head in his hands ignoring our crying kids and me.

I am a new SAHM and find that he doesn't notice how much I've done in a day and doesn't take in to consideration how draining looking after the babies can be. He forgets that I don't get a break ever, whilst he helps me (sometimes) I am still looking after the kids as I have done all day and all night. He ha even used the phrase 'I have been at work all day and I'm tired' it's an office job and whilst I appreciate he probably is tired, he makes me feel as if what I do isn't important and sometimes makes my life harder by not picking up after himself or not doing simple requests like put your dishes in the dishwasher or put your clothes in the basket. So I have to do these things too.

Sometime I just leave stuff lying to see how long it takes him, suffice to say I end up doing it.

The one any only time he 'helped' me by doing the ironing, he ironed the pile I had already ironed and ignored the stuff that actually needed ironing!

I have no problem doing house work and get that he's not here all day so he is limited in the evenings. I feel so under appreciated already. It feels like he doesn't think what I do is important and that makes me feel as if he doesn't think I'm important.

I know that's not true but when I've had a shitty day I can become quite unreasonable.

I am also not good at sugar coating so when I try to speak to him he thinks I am nagging, putting him down, constantly critical and that's no use either.

I'm lost, don't know what to do to make it better. I am trying to relax about the house stuff but if it builds up I just feel more under pressure!

ProfessorPreciseaBug Mon 18-Apr-16 21:51:08

It can be very lonely at home all day especially with dc's who will need constant attention...

I don't have an answer. for you, but to know you have not been ignored may help..

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