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To feel better clean and groomed even though DH prefers me to be more natural

(39 Posts)
LycheePond Mon 18-Apr-16 07:30:39

I like to shower every morning, wear light make-up (just mineral powder, highlighter and eyeshadow along the lash-line) and blow-dry my hair every couple of days. I change my clothes daily as I don't like cooking smells on them (plus baby drools and often spits up).

DH thinks this is excessive and says I smell too clean, he wants me to be more natural, let my hair air-dry.

I'm on mat-leave BTW.

When we went camping we couldn't shower for 3days, he was delighted and found it very attractive. I felt sticky and longed for a shower and think I look a fright in the photos!

Who is being U?

Penfold007 Mon 18-Apr-16 07:35:08

YANBU. He is very U. Is he a shower dodger?

springtimevintagedream Mon 18-Apr-16 07:38:32

How bizarre!

herecomethepotatoes Mon 18-Apr-16 07:39:48

Neither of you.

Take it as a compliment. I'm sure it's not him saying he likes a bit of pongy BO but my husband likes my hair when it's a bit surf-chickesque. He also seems initiate sex much more in the mornings if my hair (to my mind) looks a bit crap and I've been too lazy to take my make up off than when I'm wearing a posh frock and full and neat make-up.

flanjabelle Mon 18-Apr-16 07:40:14

Yanbu, your body your choice. He does not get to decide this, not at all.

Fairylea Mon 18-Apr-16 07:41:43

I guess we all have preferences about how we like our partner to look / smell. I wouldn't be giving up a daily shower for anyone though!

curren Mon 18-Apr-16 07:41:55

Neither of you are wrong as such. Unless he wants you to be smelly.

We all have different versions of what we prefer.

However hibu because it's your body. It's something you do for you not him

flanjabelle Mon 18-Apr-16 07:42:56

Saying that though, my dp loves the smell of me before my shower, he just loves the smell of my skin. I love his smell too, but I would never dream of asking him to stop washing so much. Apparently it means you are genetically matched well if you like their natural smell.

RubbleBubble00 Mon 18-Apr-16 07:42:58

Wow. Was going to come on expecting full makeup and high maintenance hair. Your just doing the basics

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Mon 18-Apr-16 07:50:17

He sounds a bit controlling actually. I wouldn't like someone asking me not to blow dry my hair or wear clean clothes. It's really odd/

Ciggaretteandsmirnoff Mon 18-Apr-16 07:53:57

<<retch>>

Delacroix Mon 18-Apr-16 07:56:17

I'd accuse my DH of basically saying "I would like you to stay messy and stinky so that no one else will want you I can rest assured you can't possibly be having an affair."

Sorry, but "I prefer you minging" is a really weird thing to say.

Euphemia Mon 18-Apr-16 08:03:22

I guess he likes your natural pheromones. Do you use perfumed shower gel? Maybe switch to products with no perfume?

I agree that it's not up to him, though. Your body, your choice.

Imnotaslimjim Mon 18-Apr-16 08:14:31

I do understand where he's coming from, kind of. I love the smell of my DH when he gets in after a full on day at work. I'm not talking BO, just his natural body smell. I find it really attractive. Could be along those lines?

I think its a little presumptuous to call him abusive and controlling, it may well be your body and your choice but surely he's allowed to mention a preference?

expatinscotland Mon 18-Apr-16 08:16:12

Your body, your choice.

purplebaglady Mon 18-Apr-16 08:26:17

Lol, if you are clean and wear deodorant so you don't pong your natural pheromones are much stronger after a day or two. We can't smell them noticeably but men can be very aroused by this.
It's the animal in us. It's not a case of 'unclean' it's more a case of your sex hormones being more obvious.
Knowing this makes me relax if I miss a shower but I still prefer to bath or shower every day, often twice. So it's a compliment really I think grin

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 18-Apr-16 08:26:18

It's unusual but I believe Nelson (of Waterloo fame) had a similar sort of...fetish? Letters exist in which he is requesting his mistress not wash until he returns. His return being a good month away. <blergh>

ohtheholidays Mon 18-Apr-16 08:43:11

No your body your choice.I never use a hairdryer on my hair,I always leave it to dry naturally but that's just because I've found my hair looks and feels alot healthier if I don't.

lornathewizzard Mon 18-Apr-16 08:48:38

Of course he's not BU to have or indeed express a preference. But this doesn't change the fact that you should do what makes you comfortable.

adelemorgan Mon 18-Apr-16 08:49:43

It's your body sweetheart therefore it's your choice what you do with it and how you treat it. If your comfortable with what hes asking for then just tell him.

CrookedTiara Mon 18-Apr-16 09:01:47

Neither of you, obviously. He's perfectly entitled to express a preference, or to be visibly enthusiastic about your appearance when it happens to coincide with what he likes, you're entitled to choose differently.

But what is disturbing about this thread is that some posters are interpreting the DH saying he likes it when she lets her hair dry naturally, goes make-up- free and doesn't necessarily shower daily as 'minging'. A lot of people (as evidenced on a lengthy MN thread) don't shower daily - and I certainly adore the smell of my DH's skin and rather regret when it's buried under shower gel - and surely we're not at the stage where make-up and a blow-dry is required so as not to be 'minging'? hmm

AliceScarlett Mon 18-Apr-16 09:03:18

we couldn't shower for 3 days, he was delighted and found it very attractive

Your natural odour turns him on clearly... But he should respect your choices, it's your body. Hm.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay Mon 18-Apr-16 09:06:04

You do what you want! I don't think he wants you to look a state, I think he is turned on by natural body odour. It's not uncommon. A man my husband works with goes for 3 or more days without showering cause his Mrs will only go down on him when he has a proper stinking cheesy knob. She loves it. Seriously. Different strokes for different folks.

BadDoGooder Mon 18-Apr-16 09:16:09

Can't believe some people interpret natural pheromone attraction as either controlling or minging! hmm
I hate the really strong scents of aftershave, perfume and soaps today, there is a world of difference between smelling "natural" and stinking of bo.
I wash (not shower) every day at the sink, but I refuse to wear fake scents like perfume, I really dislike them!

OP HINBU for liking you more au natural, and you are NBU for doing what you want.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Mon 18-Apr-16 09:27:48

What does not blow drying her hair have to do with natural pheromones then? hmm

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