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Ex husband having twins 😐

(10 Posts)
Harboromummy Mon 18-Apr-16 00:11:58

Didn't see that coming! Lol

Kids just came back a few hours ago from staying with him and his gf for the weekend. They went to his parents. He has them probably once every two months. Doesn't pay a penny for them.

When they came home they said that his gf is having a baby.. And they are having two!

I'm shocked but bloody angry! He has hardly anything to do with our two. He hasn't ever paid a penny (but going to claim in the morning!) because everytime I have attempted he threatens me.

He's now emailed me saying he won't have to pay much at all with twins now if I try claiming!! I'm so angry.

He told the kids (8&6) apparently in front of his parents. They are so excited even though they don't have nothing to do with the kids either 😡

I'm so hurt for my babies sad

HeddaGarbled Mon 18-Apr-16 00:27:58

OK, OK, calm down.

He didn't deliberately make it be twins so don't be cross with him for it being twins.

Twins are hard work. Ha, ha, ha, they have no idea what is about to hit them.

If he has never paid a penny why are you cross that you will get less because he is having twins? Put that claim in. You will get something and that will be better than nothing. He's now got to support 4 children financially. Ha, ha, ha, again.

He told your children in front of his parents. They have nothing to do with your children. Well that doesn't make sense does it? If your children were with them, then they do spend time with them.

I'm so hurt for my babies Calm down. They are not babies. There is no reason why this news should hurt them.

getyourfingeroutyournose Mon 18-Apr-16 00:28:46

He owes you many backpayments. Get legal advie and stop listening to this dimwit. He's got no clue. He's just intimidating you so he doesn't have to step up to the plate and be a decent dad. I feel sorry for the future twins as well as your kids but as long as they have one loving parent, when they grow up they'll realise that's all they needed.

Harboromummy Mon 18-Apr-16 00:36:09

Well she has twins already, and a single child so she knows how hard it is lol.

Iv calmed down now. It was the first time his parents had seen my dc in 5 months. So they don't have much to do with them.

lalalalyra Mon 18-Apr-16 00:40:22

I can understand why you are annoyed. He's excited about having a new family when he barely bothers with the kids he already has. That's something that is OK to be pissed off about.

He will get a reduction for other kids in the house, but if he works you'll still get something so put that claim on. Unless it's changed you can't backdate the claim to put it in tomorrow.

Your children won't miss out on people who don't bother with them. It's shit that they are not bothering with them, but the kids have a mum who cares and who is there so they'll be ok.

getyourfingeroutyournose Mon 18-Apr-16 00:43:16

I get where you are coming from Harb, ExP likes to tell everyone what a wonderful dad he is when he went no contact for a number of months and still doesn't see his son very regularly at all. He tells everyone it's me who prevents contact when I actually let him stay at mine and DP's place overnight so he will be more likely to visit. He's more than happy to do this, leave his mess and then run home telling everyone I make it hard for him. Some parents are just a-holes like that.
I feel your pain but aside from putting that claim in, there isn't a lot you can do to change the situation.
keep the dialogue open with the kids. Let them vent only when they want to if it is upsetting them. They are allowed to be upset by this when their dad doesn't really have a decent enough amount of contact with them but is happy to play happy families with 5 other kids at his place 24/7.

Damselindestress Mon 18-Apr-16 01:14:28

I can understand why you are so upset. It is irresponsible of him to have more children when he doesn't support the ones he has and pathetic for him to use his unborn babies as an excuse to avoid child support. Looking on the bright side, you are well rid of him. Don't let him put you off putting a claim in, report any threats he makes to the police.

MattDillonsPants Mon 18-Apr-16 01:36:38

He's an arse and if he thinks it's all going to be fine and dandy, he's got a right shock coming! Ha! Wait till he finds out what it's like having not one but TWO babies waking in the night!

Does he currently live with his partner?

Italiangreyhound Mon 18-Apr-16 01:55:15

There is something about twins, I understand, it just seems somehow that people react a lot to twins! Usually in an excited way, oh two babies. But in this case it must feel really frustrating. He is not paying financially or emotionally for the two he has... but ... you can't stop him from having more kids... that's life.

Your kids might be excited and IMHO you will need to keep your anger at bay or you will alienate them to some degree.

His parents maybe feel he can do no wrong. Just to make you feel a tiny bit better, I know of someone who had two kids with a man, then they separated and he started a new family, eventually the kids ended up living with his new family. It was long and complicated and I'm just saying it to show it could be worse!

In some ways when a deadbeat or no good dad, or whatever label you want to put on him, is not that interested in his kids, although it is sad and frustrating, part of me feel well, you get to love them, mold them, enjoy them growing up and he is missing out! It must be very tough and it must be hard for them but in some ways better that they see less of him if he is such an uncaring and irresponsible bloke! His new partner is saddled with him, you are not.

Have a nice glass of wine and some brie and all those things pregnant women can't eat and drink!! wink

adelemorgan Mon 18-Apr-16 08:45:36

Sorry to hear about your situation. To think your ex husband is soon going to be having twins and hes hardly there for your two kids. Makes you wonder what goes through these peoples heads. Adults may have differences but kids are just innocent and ask to be loved. I wish you all the best.

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