For someone to buy DC toys for another persons house?

[Ohsotired123]

Ok SIL is currently coming off as a bit of a pisstaker to be honest. She's done my head in tonight.

This is the fourth post in probably 5 weeks or so that she's put on Facebook with pictures of toys she's bought saying 'toys for nannys house' 'more toys for princess's at nannys' etc. Quite good toys. The latest is a wooden dolls house and she's ordered all of the furniture. DD is 8 months and doesn't live with her nanny, she lives at home.

Mil has a good range of toys already At her house, a big plastic storage box full of all sorts of toys and books, other non musical toys etc. She has loads! A really good selection.

It just seems she's trying to compete or something, buying all of these toys not for my DD own house but for her mums house. Why?! A dolls house can't be used for atleast 2 years As she's only a baby at the moment, so why buy it? [Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity].

Mil told me SIL is now on the look out for a slide for mil house!

Does it seem to anyone else a bit stand offish and a bit OTT.

[Floggingmolly]

Not sure what you mean by stand offish, but it's certainly a bit odd. Does she live with her mum? (Not that it makes any real difference, but at least she would actually be able to see the toys being played with if she did).
If she doesn't, it's stranger still.

[MrsRaegan]

Is she buying these toys for your DD? Or her own?

[RudeElf]

[Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity]

[Ohsotired123]

Like she's being a bit of a nob by constantly posting it on Facebook. As I said,4th time now.

Nope she doesn't live there, she lives 200 miles away. Doesn't have any children of her own, not that that makes it right.

Glad I'm not the only one, cheers.

[Ohsotired123]

Yup that's me.

[LazyMilk]

Maybe it's because you've already got lots? So no chance of her doubling up and means your DD has nice toys at both yours and DGM house? My parents buy my DC toys for at their house, surely that's the same.

[Ohsotired123]

But that wasn't the actual reason tbh

[RudeElf]

Yeah you have serious issues.

[Ohsotired123]

For my DC, she doesn't have her own. So these are purely for dd.

[Floggingmolly]

[Removed by MNHQ to protect OP's identity]

[StringyPotatoes]

My DC go to their grandparents about once a fortnight and stay over maybe once a month or so. They have toys there that get rotated with toys here and if we receive duplicates of anything (books, or too much Playdough, an excess of Brio) it goes to the grandparents for their house. They have their own room there and toys and books are stored there until needed. When little there was a second highchair etc too.
The grandparents love it and DC appreciate it. YABU about having separate toys at grandparents house as long as nanny doesn't mind.

YANBU to about the dolls house and posting it on FB. You will get told by the MN jury to keep you nose out but I would find it annoying and weird too. No 8th old needs a brand new, fully furnished dolls house - particularly in a house they do not live in. And constantly posting photos of a glut of toys comes across as boastful and attention-seeking.

[Ohsotired123]

Ok rude elf. Care to explain why?

[Drquin]

If you know the "real" reason, it's a bit pointless asking our opinion.

If there's no backstory, then a relative buying toys for a child they know, to keep elsewhere is fairly normal in the nice, normal, average families I know. I'll confess to having done it myself.

But, if there's a backstory, then logic won't come into it.

[RudeElf]

You are really possessive over your child. Not in a normal protective of danger way. You seem terrified of your SIL forming a relationship with her.

[ollieplimsoles]

Hmm it is a bit odd, why wouldn't she just buy them for your DD to play with at home?

I would understand if she had her own children and then they could benefit too when they went to her mums but they are just for your DD to play with while she's there its strange!

[RudeElf]

My children have toys in my mum's house, their other grand parents' house and their dad's house. They live in none of those houses. They are in each of them once a fortnight. Its not strange for people who love them to buy them toys to play with when at their house, or at the house they get to see them in.

[NeedACleverNN]

I think it's nice that she wants to buy toys for your Dd to play with at her nans.

What's the issue?

Seriously?

[Drquin]

No, not that strange on its own.
But clearly you think there's more to it than a child's aunt being generous with cash, in buying toys (even if some are not complete practical at present) to keep at grandparents' house.

[Ohsotired123]

My thoughts too. She also has so many toys there already I just don't see the point in it. If anything money for her account or some clothes or something would be beneficial for DD.

[Brokenbiscuit]

It might be a bit OTT and obviously your dd will be too young for some of the stuff at the moment, but as long as your MIL doesn't mind, I don't really understand your issue.

So your SIL is excited about being an auntie and is spoiling your dd a bit by buying stuff that she doesn't really need but will probably enjoy when she is a bit bigger. It seems like a kind gesture - why not just thank her and take it at face value.

[Marzipants]

The replies to your posts are always the same but you still keep posting about your poor SIL. Your attitude to her because of her infertility is like something out of the middle ages. Give the poor woman a break.

[ollieplimsoles]

RudeElf I disagree, what the sil is doing is a bit odd.

My dh's aunt lives in another country and is constantly sending clothes and bits and bobs over to mils for dd, then puts it on fb, then asks for pictures of dd with said items. It drives me mad.

Do you get on with your mil op?

[DIYandEatCake]

I think she's doing this for her own maybe complicated reasons, rather than to annoy you. Perhaps she wishes she had a child. Or maybe she is just a bit excited at being an aunt and getting a bit carried away. I'd try to just be gracious - it's not hurting anyone (although I'm slightly surprised her parents are happy to have a house full of toys!).

[Drquin]

Ah, so you'd prefer money?

Here's the gig ...... Her money, she chooses what to buy as gifts.
If you wished, you could politely say that certain gifts were unsuitable for another few years, in case she wanted a refund / exchange now. But poor form to disapprove of her gifts because you'd prefer money.