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to think this is confusing for a small child?

(22 Posts)
fishcake84 Sat 16-Apr-16 20:43:50

My friend has a 3 year old DD and she is trying to teach her the alphabet a little bit. She is teaching her phonetically which makes a lot of sense, and is using a lot of family names in her alphabet, such as D for Daddy, N for Nanna, J for Jacob etc etc.

We see each other several times a week and are close friends and she wants to include my name in her DD's alphabet, but my name doesn't fit in her phonetic pattern - so she is saying to her "C for Cheryl" rather than, say, "C for cat".

'Cuh for Cheryl' makes no sense whatsoever to a 3 year old and I pointed this out and said I wouldn't be offended at all to be left out of her alphabet, especially as the little girl has an aunty Catherine who could easily be subbed in! But friend is having a strop with me for messing up her thing.

SIBU, right?

Catmuffin Sat 16-Apr-16 21:08:30

Yes she's BU

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sat 16-Apr-16 21:08:39

I agree with you. C for Cheryl does make no sense. It's a Ch sound which they don't learn or rather are not taught until they're 5 or 6. I hate it when people say Dee is for dog rather that d is for Dog. That means nothing to a child.
I taught my DD her basic phonics with letter land. I'd recommend them to anyone. I don't think the shops still have them , but I'm sure they'll be floating around somewhere

BertieBotts Sat 16-Apr-16 22:09:46

I wouldn't worry about it. The child isn't likely to learn the alphabet by doing it that way anyway.

Just leave her to it. Not worth falling out over.

Writerwannabe83 Sat 16-Apr-16 22:12:31

My little one knows his alphabet (but he says them as we pronounce the capital letters as opposed to the lower case sounding) and we didn't teach him by attributing words to the letter either. He learnt through repetition and memory I think.

WonderingAspie Sat 16-Apr-16 22:23:47

Is this an actual issue?

BillSykesDog Sat 16-Apr-16 22:26:25

It really doesn't matter. She won't end up going through life saying she's going to eat some ceese or cange her bending.

BillSykesDog Sat 16-Apr-16 22:26:37

Bending? Bedding!

cariadlet Sat 16-Apr-16 22:47:09

Your friend's doing the right thing by encouraging her dd to become aware of sounds and to link the sounds to familiar words. But you are right that you should be saying "C for Catherine" and "Sh for Cheryl or Ch for Cheryl" (depending on how you pronounce your name).

btw, I'm always a bit hesitant about posting on AIBU in case somebody tells me I'm talking rubbish, but I've taught Foundation and Year 1 for years, and I'm my school's phonics co-ordinator so I'm relieved to find that I actually know what I'm talking about for once!

Encourage her to look at Jolly Phonics if her dd shows an interest in learning letter sounds.
jollyphonics.co.uk/
The Alphablocks are also good.
www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/shows/alphablocks

cariadlet Sat 16-Apr-16 22:51:32

My little one knows his alphabet (but he says them as we pronounce the capital letters as opposed to the lower case sounding)

Capital letters and lower case letters are both pronounced in the same way! Did you mean that he knows letter names (eg Ay, Bee, See, Dee etc) rather than letter sounds (Aa, Buh, Ccc, Duh etc)?
Letter names are useful when children are older, but when they start to learn to read they need to know the letter sounds so that they can blend the sounds to read each word.

herecomethepotatoes Sun 17-Apr-16 03:39:52

It will make no difference whatsoever. but yes, your friend is wrong.

I love annoying my DP (headmaster) singing the song with things like

'kuh' is for know
'puh' is for phone
'xs' is for xylophone

Don't think it'll hold our 1 year old back.

Also do plenty of it properly and yes, sounds as opposed to letter names at this stage so that when they move onto blending (CVC) it comes much more naturally instead of relearning corresponding sounds.

Concentrate on lowercase letters.

herecomethepotatoes Sun 17-Apr-16 03:42:09

ps. learning the alphabet without any kind reference ie. the sound and the corresponding letter, has next to no benefit.

dizzytomato Sun 17-Apr-16 03:55:21

^ This

And C is for Cheryl and Catherine. C is complicated for children to learn because it can have more than one sound. My 6 year old struggles with "C" as a K sound, "C" as an "S" sound and confounded further by "Ç" as we live abroad.
My 3 year old is currently learning letters at school, he can visually point out the first letter of his name and two of his friends. He knows the sound the letter makes, this is much slower because they learn one letter at a time, but it does mean that for example M (em) and M (mm) have a visual meaning as well as an oral one.

MadamDeathstare Sun 17-Apr-16 04:04:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

herecomethepotatoes Sun 17-Apr-16 05:07:00

The A says Ah, the A says Ah' so children could learn the letter name and the sounds it made together.

Still much better to learn the sound and the grapheme.

YokoUhOh Sun 17-Apr-16 05:19:23

DS is also 3 and nursery recommended Read Write Inc. cards. The first set has all the phonetic letter sounds plus 'ch', 'St' and 'nk'.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0198386710/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460866697&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=read+write+inc&dpPl=1&dpID=41b3EQ71pYL&ref=plSrch

firewithfire Sun 17-Apr-16 06:37:38

Cariad in I spy I'm doing S for Celia is that ok? Was worried it was wrong.

BertieBotts Sun 17-Apr-16 08:35:59

You shouldn't say 'ess' for celia but 'sss' for celia is ok unless your child is trying to learn spelling.

BTW, nobody should be using cuh, duh, nuh etc. Nnnn, d' and c' - look at alphablocks to see good examples of phonics sounds.

KatkinDaisy8 Sun 17-Apr-16 10:40:37

There's no point in saying the sound without pointing to the letters at the same time!
If she did, it would be ch for Cheryl.

cariadlet Sun 17-Apr-16 22:43:06

Cariad in I spy I'm doing S for Celia is that ok? Was worried it was wrong.

I'm guessing there's a Celia in the family - otherwise it would be an unusual example to choose. It's not wrong as I spy is all about initial sounds rather than letter shapes.

Depending on the age of your dc, you could just play the game thinking about the sounds or you could explain that the letter c usually represents a "k" sound, but sometimes represents the "s" sound.

GreatFuckability Sun 17-Apr-16 22:46:38

teach him welsh. letter names and sounds are the same. grin

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 17-Apr-16 23:18:35

Writer. Your little one knows his alphabet. He's very advanced for 2. That's brilliant.

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