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To be considering rehoming my two cats

(213 Posts)
dairymilkmonster Sat 16-Apr-16 19:58:46

Didn't put this on pet forum as too scared!

Major quandry here. We have two cats, age 6, who we have had since they were kittens. Initially I loved them very much but they came untrained (despite the claim from the household i got them from) and took about 4mo to train which put my dh off immediately. DH had tried to talk me out of having them initially.

Current issues:

1. In the past year i have been increasingly becoming allergic to the cats. My eyes are watering and itchy whenever i touch them (so i avoid it now) and i am having to close the doors to stop them going on the bed /sofa or I am coming up in a rash. Unfortunately they have reasonably thick fur and shed everywhere (more so than various friends cats) so i am constantly hoovering to prevent me sneezing and sniffling. I can't really love the cats properly like this and am finding i am getting resentful of the extra work and symptoms.

2. My ds1 actively dislikes the cats and always has for some inexplicable reason. He always chases them out of the room (4yrs) and shouts at them. I have endlessly worked on this, read books about nice pets that we love, talked about being kind to animals and even at school they did something on caring for pets. I asked him today to tell me all the things he liked and disliked about the cars. He came up with 10things he didnt like ( essentially, them existing) and nothing he did!

3. DH has no interest in the cats (ds2 is a baby and hasnt really noticed them yet!) and just thinks they stress me out and create work and expense.

Recently we have started discussing rehoming them. hoping they might go somewhere where they can be well cared for but perhaps recieve more love /strokes than here and reduce my allergic symptoms and household stress considerably. Moral dilemma - what if i regret it? Is this just really selfish and cruel? do i have a moral obligation to these cats?

AIBU to do this or even consider it?
Thoughts welcome.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Sat 16-Apr-16 20:01:49

How do you think you will be able to rehome them? Putting them in a cat shelter? Because people often don't want adult cats.

Yes I think you have a moral obligation to them. When you take on a pet, it's a long term commitment.

I don't think your question should be "What if I regret it?" because that is making it all about you, when you should be considering the wellbeing of your pets.

CalleighDoodle Sat 16-Apr-16 20:02:27

If you can find a loving home for them, do it.
If the only option is a shelter, dont.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 16-Apr-16 20:02:36

They're not getting what they need from you so you should definitely rehome them into a loving home. A really good one.

I find it really sad that you used to love them and don't now sad

Wolfiefan Sat 16-Apr-16 20:04:15

You have a moral dilemma to control your kid. STOP him chasing them or shouting at them. Treat the allergies.
At 6 they may face a long time in a shelter.

notapizzaeater Sat 16-Apr-16 20:04:52

I'd take an anti histamine and suck it up. 6 year old cats would be difficult to rehome so would likely be put to sleep

BreakfastAtStephanies Sat 16-Apr-16 20:04:53

Look for the local Cats Protection League who can rehome them. Better for them to be in a loving home.

fastdaytears Sat 16-Apr-16 20:05:06

I was with you until you asked if you have a moral obligation towards them. You definitely do! You took them on.

The allergies sound rough though. Can you take anything.

It doesn't sound like rehoming them will be that easy especially if they have to stay together. Are they very bonded with each other?

RiverTam Sat 16-Apr-16 20:05:27

Well, actually, if you have become allergic to them, I don't think that's at all an unreasonable reason for rehoming them, the other two are less good feeble reasons. So I would do it. When DD was born I was worried she might be allergic to our cats, who are semi-feral and would be very difficult to rehome, but your health must come first. Have a chat with your local rescue centre about it.

Wildberryprincess Sat 16-Apr-16 20:06:00

Purely on the basis that you are now allergic to them you should rehome them. Allergies only get worse with more high-level exposure such as you are having, you could end up with asthma.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 16-Apr-16 20:06:04

You'd be better off on the pets forum, OP. I can see why you would feel you had to consider rehoming them (I am a massive cat and dog lover) but adult cats are not easy to rehome and you may struggle. We have a cat because he turned up at the back door as a kitten and I could not get a single agency to take him. I obviously fell in love with the fat git about two hours later but that's not the point.

Have you tried taking antihistamines? A friend of mine takes them permanently and adores her cat.

strawberrypenguin Sat 16-Apr-16 20:07:14

I think you should rehome them. You essentially let your 4yo abuse them daily they must be miserable.

If you genuinely have allergies that are getting worse then that's another reason too as well. Please do it responsibly though.

ghostyslovesheep Sat 16-Apr-16 20:08:08

I don't think yabu - it's sad - especially for the cats but it doesn't sound like they have a nice life - scared by your son, ignored by your DH and no cuddles or love from you due to your allergy

Let them go to a home where they will be loved x

Triliteral Sat 16-Apr-16 20:08:18

If you are allergic, I think wanting to rehome is perfectly understandable. If you can find someone decent to take them on, I think your moral duties would be fulfilled.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 16-Apr-16 20:08:30

PS as others have said it is not unreasonable to rehome a pet if they make you ill. As I say, I know someone who takes meds so that she can have a cat but no one can reasonably expect that of you.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 16-Apr-16 20:09:25

I agree, they need rehoming if you can't love them properly through allergies which are no fault of your own. I wouldn't take anti histamines indefinitely.

My friend has just adopted two 6 year old cats smile

Costacoffeeplease Sat 16-Apr-16 20:09:43

Poor cats - ffs discipline your child

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Sat 16-Apr-16 20:10:08

Who will love them though? The mistreatment from the OP's son aside, would they be better off in a shelter where they have very, very little chance of being adopted by someone who will give them loves and cuddles, or would they be better off staying somewhere they know at least, with each other as company?

I guess it depends on the cat.

enchantedfairytale Sat 16-Apr-16 20:12:02

I am quite shocked you allow this behaviour from your four year old.

So what happens if/when he decides he doesn't like his little brother?

TheGirlOnTheLanding Sat 16-Apr-16 20:12:27

I think the cats would be happier somewhere else, it sounds very stressful for all of you. I hope you can find them a new home together - maybe see if your vet knows anyone looking to rehome adult cars (if they've recently lost a pet for example) or word be willing to put up an advert as I agree shelters struggle to find homes for older cats (though at 6 they're in their prime!)

JellyBellyKelly Sat 16-Apr-16 20:14:33

Poor cats - ffs discipline your child


Arkwright Sat 16-Apr-16 20:14:35

A pet should be welcome in your home forever. How sad that you don't want to keep them. You need to stop your child chasing and shouting at them by whatever means possible.

TendonQueen Sat 16-Apr-16 20:19:55

I think that as others have said, you need to find a specific home for them not give them to a shelter. I think enchanted has a point though. Have always told DS that it's our job to look after our pets. What example does it set to get rid of members of the household because someone there doesn't like them?

Binkybix Sat 16-Apr-16 20:20:11

If you're allergic to them I think it's fine to re-home them responsibly.

Hygellig Sat 16-Apr-16 20:22:55

I don't blame you for wanting to rehome them if you are badly allergic. I don't know how easy it is to rehome adult cats but perhaps you could ask around while you decide. Maybe you can work on your DS in the meantime. My cat is a bit scared of my children (they used to scream at her) but they have got better recently and the younger one loves to stroke her.

At least rehoming them would be better than what my mum did to our cats when my sister and I were away at university. She had them put down because they had starting weeing indoors (they were 13 and 10 so a bit older, but not exactly the cat equivalent of a centenarian).

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