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to think my boss has attacked my character?

(12 Posts)
GrayJane Sat 16-Apr-16 10:53:06

I recently started working for the HR boss of a very large corporate. With 22 years experience I consider myself capable and confident in my specialist role. During our first feedback session, she provided me no feedback on my work, which has been pretty good so far. She only told me that I need to be more 'insecure'. I think I know what that means, but I'm not 100% sure. In any case, the feedback has thrown me a bit and I'm now paranoid and indeed...more insecure.

DoreenLethal Sat 16-Apr-16 10:55:12

I would email her and ask what she meant specifically as you have pondered her comments and still have no idea what she means.

curren Sat 16-Apr-16 10:55:45

Yabu to call it an attack on your character. It's a bit over the top.

If you aren't sure exactly what means ask her to explain and give some examples.

To me that says that you always think you are right and maybe need to involve other people in decisions or need to learn to ask for help.

But that's a complete guess.

Checkedstripes Sat 16-Apr-16 10:56:40

Ask for clarification- does she want you to constantly ask for validation with your work? Does that just not boost her ego - sorry, workload?

Obviouspretzel Sat 16-Apr-16 10:57:31

That is the most unhelpful feedback I have ever heard. Why would it be good for anyone to be more insecure? She's worded it terribly.

drivingmisspotty Sat 16-Apr-16 11:00:51

Goodness me the first thing our HR say on management training is that when giving feedback you must be specific. E.g. when you do x procedure the way you did in your old place of work it means I have to pick up y and z. Can I take you through our procedure so you can follow that from now on?

He/she is a bad example of HR! I agree you should go back for clarification. The fact they haven't explained it as above suggests to me it is a personal not a practical thing. A bit threatened or jealous maybe?

FireandBrimstone Sat 16-Apr-16 11:03:28

???? 'be more insecure'? What the hell kind of feedback is that? I have no idea what that would mean.
If that was a formal feedback session I'd think you'd be very entitled to ask for another meeting and ask for clarification. That's not professional feedback and she should explain clearly how that is supposed to translate into how you work.

fascicle Sat 16-Apr-16 11:09:39

Agree with Obvious and driving. What on earth is your boss trying to achieve with such a negative, ambiguous and limited comment? She should be encouraging you and giving you specific and constructive information.

Jmangel Sat 16-Apr-16 11:36:08

She sounds threatened by you and is lashing out - saying you should be insecure is a threat - almost saying, you'd better watch out, your job isn't secure.
Most bizarre feedback - I would ask for a second appraisal with another HR employee also present.

Yeahsure Sat 16-Apr-16 11:42:20

That's a dreadful comment.

Ask, politely, for clarity and for some targets or pointers to work towards.

SilverBirchWithout Sat 16-Apr-16 11:44:56

The use of the word 'insecure' is indeed very odd.

It would clearer if she had said you can sometimes come across as over-confident or you may find it better to sometimes ask other members of the team for advice to help build working relationships.

However it is not clear what she means by saying 'insecure'. IMO being insecure would be a negative trait to demonstrate at work. Maybe she's saying that she needs to feel that you are lower in the pecking order than she is and she has the need for her direct reports to behave more diffidently towards her.

How peculiar that someone in HR is so poor at giving constructive or even understandable feedback.

You mention you thought you understood what she meant, what do you think she was getting at?

cleaty Sat 16-Apr-16 11:49:57

I suspect she means over confident. But ask her to clarify.
Your reaction though as to see it as an attack on your character is OTT.

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