To cut a long story short, DSis has form for staying at mum's and paying no board and is back again now paying the bear minimum while mum works as much as she can (minimum wage) to be able to pay the rent and bills while DSis is out every weekend, buying clothes, new tattoos and piercings etc.
Whenever mum has told sis to move out or asks about money, sis tells her that she feels suicidal and so mum backs off and instead comes to me or other family for loans which she has to then pay back.
Sis and I are very different. She does not mind using mum so that she can have spare cash for herself and laughed at me when I suggested that she pay mum more a few months ago and her stance is that so long as mum can still buy wine, she doesn't need any additional money from her (at the time she was just paying the additional council tax and has since agreed to pay £25 per week).
DSis and I currently are not talking as she accused DS of stealing something that was missing from her room. Her argument was that when he comes to their house, the first thing he does it go up to her room - but that's to see her because she lets him play on her phone. She continued with the blame and so I left. There was absolutely no reason to blame DS other than to piss me off and well, job done there.
Fast forward a few weeks and DS makes an easter card and lists all of his family inside, mum takes it to her house as that's where everyone goes, but he's missed off DSis. It's obvious what he's done, he's gotten carried away listing my DBro and cousin with their partner and children and just forgotten about sis. Just engrossed and being carried away. DSis, mum tells me within DS's earshot, was distraught at this, oh she was so upset. Explained that it seems obvious that he's just got carried away etc. Next time we visit mum's house, DS took down the card and wrote sis's name and another cousin that he couldn't remember her name (baby).
Yesterday, mum came round and was again going on about how upset sis is about this card with DS obviously listening upstairs (oh the silence). I don't really give a fuck about sis's feelings over this, I've explained why it happened, thought mum would have passed it on and care about my DS's feelings being hurt thinking he's upset his aunty who he loves by forgetting to write her name in a card when he was on a trip to a zoo - and told mum this.
I'm so sick of all of the drama, all of the begging for money, seeing her have no money and seeing sis in new clothes, hearing about her new tattoos, her new piercings, the nights out with friends drinking prosecco.
Went to mum's house, retrieved the card (because it's a lovely card) and gave mum her key back telling her not to contact me again until sis has moved out.
Mum and I always have had a difficult relationship, she has said before that she tells me things just to get a reaction out of me and I've often found things that she's told me not to be true. I think that I've seen it on here being called Gaslighting when you're told lies to deflect from the truth. I'm just so sick of being used to get a reaction and to enable the situation with sis by lending/giving mum money and giving her advice and energy.
Please tell me I'm doing the right thing
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AIBU?
To have told DM not to contact me again until DSis has moved out?
46 replies
JenniferYellowHat91 · 14/04/2016 10:27
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