This is very difficult to post but I really need to off load and get some advice...here goes!
My F is currently in hospital suffering with a stroke and dementia as a result. Sadly his long term partner has also passed away, very unexpectedly, this week. We've had limited contact over the years primarily of his doing but also because of the way she treated myself and my siblings and also my mother, verbally and in writing.
To cut a long story short we believe that my father led his late partner to believe that our mother had chucked him out without anything to his name. The reality is that he left my mother ( wasn't consistent in seeing us, his children) and lived with another woman for a further 8 years, whose daughter called him Dad, who threw him out with nothing(my mother actually put him up at this point but due to his bad behaviour-drinking/inappropriateness asked him to leave as I felt uncomfortable). He told my brother many years ago, when he first got together with partner, never to tell partner about OW!
He then took up with my grandmothers neighbour and they've been together until she passed away. We've always been incredibly close to his sister my Aunt as is my mother. He has actually distanced himself from his whole family.
Now the problem my sister, brother and I are having to deal with matters ( brother is sole executor) and their neighbours who have been 'their rocks' - their words are being very cool with us. F has obviously spun them a tale over the years but his inability to support my siblings or I has left us feeling very upset. We know all the facts they know his version.
My dilemma despite it being a difficult time do I enlighten them?
I'm prepared for people to say no but I'm now in my 50's and I feel that we are the ones who should feel aggrieved having had a shit childhoods!
Incidentally the neighbours were added to an amended will at the beginning of the year. In all honesty everything will now go on his care as is the right thing and we've never had any help from him so why start now!
Thank you for reading.
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Should I tell them our side aka the truth?
78 replies
justkeepongoing · 13/04/2016 22:17
OP posts:
Coconutty ·
13/04/2016 22:19
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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