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To ask if you cry in front of the kids?

(41 Posts)
PricklyHodgeheg Wed 13-Apr-16 17:37:30

I'm PMTing, I've had a really shitty afternoon, followed by DP being a complete bellend by text (he's still at work). Now at home in tears and the kids are watching TV (because they just won't stop fighting).

I hate the DC to see me like this but I can't seem to get it together so I'm hiding upstairs. DD is 5 so she'll be asking questions if she sees me upset :-(

Do you ever cry in front of the kids?

newnameoldstart Wed 13-Apr-16 17:40:03

I don't think I have! although I don't tend to cry much anyway. I don't think it's bad for children to see us dealing with emotions to a certain extent though.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 13-Apr-16 17:41:30

I cry in front of DD. Sad film, GPs leaving to go home, kind of things.

I think it might be more of an issue that your partner is a bellend TBH.

tabulahrasa Wed 13-Apr-16 17:42:27

Yes, I mean not on purpose or anything, but I cry at TV programmes nevermind real stuff, so it's a bit hard to avoid it sometimes and we've had things like bereavements or pets dying where I don't think it's a bad thing that they know I'm upset as well.

YoJesse Wed 13-Apr-16 17:43:02

Yes, but I try to do it less and less as he grows up. Now 3. Tears for me usually come with frustration which can be a constant state with a toddler grin

Maturecheddarcheese Wed 13-Apr-16 17:44:12

I have, yes. It's just emotions, nothing to be ashamed of. I well up at sad TV all the time. DD just rolls her eyes at me. Are we supposed to pretend we aren't human?

MummyBex1985 Wed 13-Apr-16 17:44:29

Only when my DM died, because I wanted them to understand and that grief is a normal reaction.

Other than that, no.

TweeterandtheMonkeyman Wed 13-Apr-16 17:45:05

Yes I do sometimes -it's part of life isn't it? I would always explain WHY I am crying and try and pull myself to together asap. Recent examples I can think of include dropping something heavy on my toe, losing my phone, and reading Black Beauty to DD (I admit I am a wuss! grin )

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meGoes Wed 13-Apr-16 17:46:16

Not really, but I very rarely cry at all, if I did I wouldn't mind the DCs seeing it provided I felt comfortable explaining why. It is ok to let them see you cry, that way they know it's normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Hope you feel better soon.

fieldfare Wed 13-Apr-16 17:47:00

Yes I do and always have.
Showing emotion and also being empathetic about someone else's emotions is important, I'm happy to explain to my daughter that I'm sad/happy/in pain etc.

Thisisnotausername Wed 13-Apr-16 17:47:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhMrBadger Wed 13-Apr-16 17:47:54

Yes I do. I think it's important for my DCs to express emotions and not be afraid of doing so. I grew up in quite an emotionally cold home and felt uneasy around people expressing emotion.

MakingJudySmile Wed 13-Apr-16 17:48:03

Twice. At funerals they were at with me. I'm not much of a crier.

MrsLupo Wed 13-Apr-16 17:49:23

Absolutely! If you feel bad enough that you want/need to cry, then letting them see you do it is just like any other kind of coping strategy that you model for your kids. I'm not talking about uncontrolled hysteria, but if you're sad, upset, frustrated, etc, well, these are all emotions that are well within their range of experience and I'm sure they will understand only too well how you feel. Children's simple responses to tears can often be especially touching, too, and may make you feel better quicker than anything else!

superwormissuperstrong Wed 13-Apr-16 17:51:16

Yes I do - i grew up in a house without tears or generally any emotions - it wasn't healthy...

ScarletForYa Wed 13-Apr-16 17:51:28

Once, dd started crying about my Mam being dead. It caught me by surprise and I ended up crying.

There was nothing I could do it happened so fast. I pulled myself together quickly though.

I very rarely cry so I didn't realise it was going to happen.

Dd is nearly four so hadn't seen me crying before that. She did notice and was definitely slightly uneasy at the sight of it.

squeezed Wed 13-Apr-16 17:53:16

Be kind to yourself, you're not a machine. I'm pregnant and I cry at the drop of the hat, even more than usual. I try to explain it to DD in a child appropriate way, be it happy or sad tears. We're a sensitive bunch in our little family so we make sure we talk about our emotions rather than the repression of the previous generations of our families.

curren Wed 13-Apr-16 17:55:39

Depends on what is. No full on melt downs. But a film or a relative dying etc yes they have seen my cry.

I think it's fine for kids to see someone cry about something sad. Having a raging sobbing fit, not so much.

LineyReborn Wed 13-Apr-16 17:57:21

Yes, I do. When they were young I would simply explain I was sad, and now they're older I tell them what I'm crying about.

I think bellend text messages should be outlawed. They cause so much misery.

FlyRussianUnicorn Wed 13-Apr-16 18:05:25

Im mid 20s and have only seen my Mum cry properly once- at my grandfathers funeral a few weeks ago. Shes never really agreed with expressing emotion though so thats probably something to do with it.

PricklyHodgeheg Wed 13-Apr-16 18:12:17

Thanks for your replies. We are good at talking about our emotions but I don't usually cry so was worried about worrying the DC. Very good point though that DC seeing me cry should be normal and OK.

DP has since called to apologise so feeling a bit better now x

Hopelass Wed 13-Apr-16 18:16:20

I haven't been able to avoid it, now coming to the end of the first trimester of second pregnancy. Poor 2.5yo DS has seen me sobbing! Mainly at tv progs. He comes along and says "poor mummy, big tears" wipes my face and gives me a kiss smile

getiton Wed 13-Apr-16 18:21:47

No, I don't like anyone seeing me crying. And I don't cry much anyway, about once a decade really, I'm not an emotional person at all.

Gizlotsmum Wed 13-Apr-16 18:32:08

Yes, through films, frustration, sadness and happiness. All part of perfectly normal emotions as far as I am concerned... They will give me cuddles and make me feel better as I would them

ShowOfHands Wed 13-Apr-16 18:42:58

I don't cry but would do it in front of them if I felt the urge. I am honest about feeling sad or cross or frustrated. It's important they see me express emotions.

I do mumble and sniff through books sometimes. Goodnight Mr Tom was hard to read to DD.

Every time Bella does a kind thing, I sniffle.

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