AIBU not to know how to dress in my 40s any more?

[whippetwoman]

I’ve had a self-imposed clothes-buying ban for a good few months now so I am definitely out of the loop. Because of this I haven’t been clothes shopping for a while but I have also realised I’m not too happy with my existing clothes because they just don’t look right. I don’t know where to shop or what to buy!
Having a baby at 40 didn’t help as before I did look a tad younger than I was, but now at 44, I absolutely look 44, maybe older with the often-interrupted sleep, older children, dog, cats, work….

I am taking my older two to see Muse on Friday night and have literally no idea what to wear and this has sparked the feeling that I genuinely don’t know what to wear in any situation.

This isn’t a judgey thing. I don’t care what others wear and have never been into fashion, and I haven’t really cared about myself either until I thought, oh hang on, I have no idea what to wear. I normally wear dresses from Oasis over skinny jeans/leggings but I think I’m too old to pull it off now. Or not?!

Apologies if this is better off in Style and Beauty. I had a nose there but couldn't find anything. AIBU unreasonable to find this difficult? Where do people shop?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Definitely not too old for that look!

Although, I clicked on your thread, because I feel an absolute state, so may not be the best person

[whippetwoman]

Thanks Bastard! I do feel like an old knacker now though.

[NynaevesSister]

Sounds like a great outfit to me and I am 49.

[RatherBeRiding]

I wear that kind of thing and I am significantly older than you.

[whippetwoman]

Ah, thanks guys. This is reassuring. I just had a moment of self-doubt there. Where do you shop for clothes? I looked on the M&S website but it wasn't great to be honest.

[MamaLazarou]

Most people wear that kind of thing, OP. I wouldn't worry.

[wiltingfast]

Sounds fine to me too Whippet

I recently bought this from French Connection and wear it over painted jeggings from H&M like these

I feel fab in it!

[BastardGoDarkly]

I love Joe Browns, have you ever looked at their stuff? They do online.

[BastardGoDarkly]

(I'm too fat to wear the clothes I love, so am refusing to buy anything remotely nice)

[whippetwoman]

Hello Wilting
I like your suggestions!

I will look at Joe Browns as I have never heard of it before.

[Tanfastic]

Sounds ok to me op. I'm 43 and wear similar. I've had more than one woman in her twenties compliment me on my style recently as an older woman. I think I'm ok with that .

Today I'm wearing skinny blue jeggings, black and white stripe tunic dress over the top, tan Chelsea boots, beige trench and tan woven across body bag. I've got a big floral scarf too. I still like scarves even though some find them frumpsville, I think it's how you wear them.

[NynaevesSister]

I very rarely find anything I like in M&S now. If I had the money and was thinner I would still be shopping at Oasis :). I like stuff from Next, River Island, H&M. But finances mean I mostly shop Tu (cough Sainsburys).

[IdaBattersea]

I am 41 OP. I shop at Zara, Ted Baker, Jigsaw, Karen Millen.

I would definitely avoid M&S I don't think they every get it quite right and you can end up looking frumpy.

I don't think you are too old to pull off that look at all.

What I do find though as I get older is cheaper clothes can be a bit less forgiving, so where possible I try to buy less but buy better quality if I can. Or go for more expensive accessories.

Zara is not expensive though and you can get lots of great basics in there, knitwear for £20 and smart trousers for £30 and then just add in a more expensive belt or bag.

[Pettywoman]

Joe Browns is like Per Una on crack. Waaay garish! Sorry.

[NynaevesSister]

I like Joe Browns!

[BastardGoDarkly]

Me too! I'm not even sure what per una on crack would look like!

[thebestfurchinchilla]

I'm 45 and I wear that sort of thing. At a concert I would probably wear skinny jeans and a tunic type top with a leather jacket, boots or converse. I know what you mean, sometimes I feel like an old student. If I get stresses about clothes I always look at the French style for inspiration and keep it simple i.e skinny jeans or narrow trousers, ballet pumps, a stripe top and a mac always look good especially with sunglasses and a nice hand bag. Check out La Redoute.

[whippetwoman]

Ida, good idea. Should try Zara actually. Will need to make a trip beyond the local shops to do that.

My last few purchases which i got last year were from TU Nynaeve because places like Oasis are pricey. Some good suggestions here. Thank you. Maybe just a small number of better quality things.

[thebestfurchinchilla]

I'm with tanfastic on scarves.Definitely got more of them since turning 40 and they really can make an outfit. Don't wear them like your mum did though!

[Pettywoman]

Lol, Per Una on crack would look like Joe Browns.

Sorry just too fancy and busy for me.

[whippetwoman]

thebestfur that is exactly what I will be wearing and not at all hoping to catch the eye of Matthew Bellamy despite being there with my children, oh no not me

[mumofthemonsters808]

I know how you feel, I'm the same age and I think I dress too frumpy but I really don't want to look like mutton dressed as lamb. I like fur chinchillas suggestion of including a leather jacket (that's because I have one, but even in that I feel like I'm trying to look like a rock chick, but not quite making the mark.). I do have this "gift" though, whereby I don't really care what I look like once I'm out of the house, because I'm too busy enjoying myself, it's just getting past the bedroom mirror and gaining my teenagers approval.Have a great night, I bet you look fabulous.

[letisnowtime]

How do you wear scarves not like your mum, please?

[MewlingQuim]

I also had difficulty finding a new style after 40, I lived in jeans for years but just felt really dull, old and uncomfortable in them after DD was born. Now I wear dresses over leggings/skinnies a lot and feel more happy with my look.

On MN dress-over-leggings seems to be considered awful and frumpy but in real life I have been complemented several times by people who are quite fashionable, so meh.

At a gig I would wear skinny jeans, t shirt, leather jacket and boots. Same thing I was wearing to gigs 20 years ago

[MatildaTheCat]

Have a look at Mint Velvet, it does lovely layered tops that go perfectly with skinny jeans and boots and are exceedingly kind to the waistline.