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To feel upset

(27 Posts)
kappadelta Tue 12-Apr-16 22:16:19

DH rang his dad earlier and came off the call really upset.FIL is in his seventies still very active but not great with technology.
He answered the phone and said oh no it's (husbands name) before putting the phone to his ear and greeting DH.
DH ended up in tears to me and I felt terrible for him.
I told him to call his dad back and tell him that what he had heard had upset DH but he refused which is fine as its his side of the family.

Creampastry Tue 12-Apr-16 22:18:18

Isn't it a but OTT for your husband to be in tears with his DF saying oh no it's dh.... Not nice but in tears... Is there more of a backstory to this?

ConfuciousSayWhat Tue 12-Apr-16 22:20:37

Is your son a needy individual who keeps ringing his dad? I go 'oh no its...' if I see my fil is ringing dh (tbh dh does aswell!) because he's so needy!

LindyHemming Tue 12-Apr-16 22:20:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConfuciousSayWhat Tue 12-Apr-16 22:20:50

Dh not son!

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Tue 12-Apr-16 22:20:56

Who did he say it to? Was it possible the other person had said 'Oh, that'll be <<some other dude>> on the phone' and his answer was 'Oh, no, it's <<your DH>>'?

Anyway - a complete breakdown is a bit OTT until he knows the circumstances.

ScarletForYa Tue 12-Apr-16 22:22:13

I don't think it's OTT at all. His Dad was caught being really two faced about him. The poor guy. I'd be really hurt too.

kappadelta Tue 12-Apr-16 22:22:42

Not really a back story as such but FIL does seem to favour SIL and her child.
Things like this used to bother me when I was younger but I can't be bothered with it now.
I just don't like to see DH upset.

TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat Tue 12-Apr-16 22:24:22

We don't know for sure that his Dad was being two faced about him do we? confused

Only1scoop Tue 12-Apr-16 22:26:01

It's a bit OTT crying. Is he usually this sensitive?

I caught a similar thing once with my DM....moaning about me on an answerphone message when she thought she'd hung up. I told her exactly what I'd heard.

raininginspringtime Tue 12-Apr-16 22:26:05

Honestly it would upset me, yes. It was my stepmothers party trick mind you. I think I'd say something if I were you - or get DH to.

yougetme Tue 12-Apr-16 22:26:20

Could it be joke of the "Oh no not HIM again" type ?

Without knowing if this is normal for the family or an abusive backstory its quite impossible to guess really . Being in tears after speaking to a parent isnt usual.

ScarletForYa Tue 12-Apr-16 22:28:22

The Dad said 'oh no, it's <son>' before he realised he could be heard. Then proceeded to greet the son as normal.

That's two faced surely?

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:28:26

Unless your dh is under ten years old it's a way Ott reaction? Tears, fgs? Maybe that's why fil doesn't want to speak to him?

Bellyrub1980 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:29:12

I agree that the words "0h no it's ....." could be taken in a few different ways.

To be honest, I've heard my Dad say this about my brother when he calls m. But I know for a fact that he absolutely adores him and their conversations. It's usually just that is saying it in a jokey way "oh bleeding 'eck look who it is now!" but actually quite happy iyswim?

kappadelta Tue 12-Apr-16 22:30:22

Scarlet - yes that's right.
Duchess - I don't think I said DH had a complete breakdown.
FIL is not really a jokey person he's very serious and straight laced.

PenelopePitstops Tue 12-Apr-16 22:30:26

Wow your dh is sensitive

kappadelta Tue 12-Apr-16 22:32:08

Yes DH did come across as sensitive. I'm not sure why to be honest but to be fair I didn't have a problem with him being upset about it.

LindyHemming Tue 12-Apr-16 22:32:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

originalusernamefail Tue 12-Apr-16 22:33:01

How was it said? Could FIL have been talking to someone else? I.e

MIL : Is that so and so on the phone, tell them hello!
FIL. : Oh no, it's DS

kappadelta Tue 12-Apr-16 22:34:55

FIL lives alone and DH said there wasn't anyone else there today.

Only1scoop Tue 12-Apr-16 22:37:28


AtSea1979 Tue 12-Apr-16 22:37:47

I agree that maybe the FIL said something along lines of "oh that'll be Bob...oh no it's DH" to himself on his own or someone else. Why did your DH assume it was negative? There must be a huge backstory for tears and that assumption surely?

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 12-Apr-16 22:41:47

Not sure why everyone is so scathing that he was upset. If I'd heard my mum say that about me I'd cry - some things trigger an emotional response, so what.

thecatfromjapan Tue 12-Apr-16 22:50:36

I overheard my mother running me down to a friend one night - sending up my parenting; clothes; things I'd said - I was sad and angry. It was horrible. I left the next morning. And I had a bit of a private cry.

It's horrible if it's not a one off but part of a whole pattern of just not liking you very much.

He'll get over it. At some point he'll just think of his dad as a bit strange, and he'll aim to do better in his own parenting(which I am sure he will).

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