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AIBU?

To ask another school mum to take kids to school?

163 replies

ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 16:58

My child care just fell through and I have no options. I'm on nights won't get home until 9am. dh starts work at 0700 and would need to drop kids off at 0645. I have no other options and cannot take carers leave. But feel very cheeky asking others. At a push dh can go in late but his work will get very annoyed at him and he isn't working in a great environment as it is. Agh why are things so bloody hard!

Would I be cheeky to ask, I'm not close to any school mums but we chat a lot at the gate and one of my children are best friends with her child?

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SallyDonovan · 12/04/2016 17:01

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask as one-off favour. But as an ongoing thing? No, it's too much to ask.

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Sirzy · 12/04/2016 17:03

I think for such an early start you would struggle to find someone to do it unless you were close.

How old are they?

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ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 17:04

It's just a one off. Normal my mum and mil are around but things got complicated last minute. I keep writing a message and then deleting it again, I feel too cheeky, but also don't know what else I can do.

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228agreenend · 12/04/2016 17:04

On a one-off basis, not cheeky. If you want the friend to look after your child regularly, cheeky, and 6.45am is very early to be dropping off kids at someone else's house (that's when our household gets up!).

Are there any breakfast clubs locally, or childminders, or a willing teenager or student who can look after your child?

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ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 17:05

They are 5 and 8.

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ElfAndSafetyBored · 12/04/2016 17:05

I am always happy if another parents asks me and I always help if I can.

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redskytonight · 12/04/2016 17:05

Agree it's fine as a one off (and I'd certainly help you out I was a school mum near here). But I'd want it to be clear it was for a couple of days while you sort something else out only. From what you say it's not just the taking to school but the having them in the morning that's the big issue - lots of families won't even be normally up by 6.45!!

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SanityClause · 12/04/2016 17:05

It's fine to ask, and I'm sure she won't mind, provided it's not a long term thing.

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duckyneedsaclean · 12/04/2016 17:06

Could your dh drop them at 7? That's a slightly more humane time.

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iwantavuvezela · 12/04/2016 17:06

As a one off its absolutely fine to ask, send a text to a few people and see if anyone can help you out. You can mention its unexpected and just for that day.c I would help someone (and have before) in this situation.

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ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 17:07

Child minders I'm assuming need more notice. And no teenagers in my area unfortunately. I guess dh going to have to go in late. It doesn't feel right to ask.

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SanityClause · 12/04/2016 17:07

No, do ask. I'm sure she'll be fine as a one off. You could also offer some sort of return favour (play date?) if it makes you feel better about asking.

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duckyneedsaclean · 12/04/2016 17:07

Blush Didn't read op properly.

But if he could go in 15 mins late, would that be ok?

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PotteringAlong · 12/04/2016 17:07

Just be prepared that she might say no - dropping the kids off at school and you leaving them at hers at 6.45am so they need breakfast etc are not the same thing.

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whois · 12/04/2016 17:08

I think it's fine to ask - but people on MN seem to resent being asked things like this!

However I would phrase it like "have a favour to ask. Childcare has fallen through and stick getting the kids to school on . Would You be able to talk them? Would be v grateful and repay in kind or wine. No pressure tho, don't feel bad if you Can't/don't want to :-)"

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HotPotatoOrchestraStalls · 12/04/2016 17:08

That's a very early time to drop them off. What would you do if they're I'll?

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willconcern · 12/04/2016 17:09

I would (and have done) as a one off.

Are you talking about a one off tomorrow, or a longer term arrangement.

6.45 is very early, and I wouldn't want to do that if I was the parent you were asking. My kids don't get up til 7 earliest, and nor do I!

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Waltermittythesequel · 12/04/2016 17:09

6.45??? That's very early. Mine don't get up till 7.30!

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PicaK · 12/04/2016 17:10

No prob as a one off - i'd be happy to help and delighted if there was a promise of babysitting or bottle of vino in return.
On an extended basis tho no - so just make it clear it's a one off.

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ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 17:12

I like that message who is. If they were ill it's normally not a problem because my mum or mil, have them either coming to ours or sometimes they stay over there house. I work shifts and my work pattern is all over the place so it's only on nights this early start. And in the holidays last week I need carers leave as they had d&v hence why I cannot get that again. And also with completely outing myself I have the most responsibility on tonight making it extra difficult to sort things out.

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Witchend · 12/04/2016 17:14

Take to school. No problem.

Drop off at 6.45. Not except in sudden emergency.

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Duckstar · 12/04/2016 17:14

I would ask. What's the worse they can say? No. I'd be more then happy to help out if a Mum asked me this. I wouldnt think you cheeky. Emergencies happen.

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Tambaboy · 12/04/2016 17:14

I would do it no problem as a one off as I'm normally up by 6:30. Offering to babysit in return would make me accept immediately!

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lilydaisyrose · 12/04/2016 17:19

I'd do this, no problem as a one off, despite it being really very early. Please text and ask and don't stress.

I look after kids for a friend of mine once a week. She drops them off at 7.30 am and they have breakfast here - it's earlier than we would usually get up and organised but I'm happy to do it.

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ThereIsTooMuchConfusion · 12/04/2016 17:19

It will be a one off my nights finish tonight. And hopefully normality returns if not I have until Tuesday night to get something more finalized. As I'm working weekend and that's no problem as dh is at home. I think there are quite a few people saying it's too early. And also people saying it's fine but I think the too early people are making me think I perhaps shouldn't. So I guess dh can drop kids at breakfast club at 8 and be one and half hours late for work and hope the repercussions are not too bad. Sometimes being a working parent sucks!!

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