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AIBU to care about this attention over my PG?

(9 Posts)
LizFromLondon Mon 11-Apr-16 16:53:55

First post. New to all this baby stuff. 29, first baby, a girl due in 19 weeks. I must start by saying that m DH and I are utterly overjoyed and are absolutely consumed with preparing for our baby and reveling in the wonder of it all.

I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer 6 years ago (triple negative which means it isn't fed by hormones which a fact I calm myself with in times of panic). I recurred two years later (now no evidence of disease) but this of course was a blow. DH and I dealt with it, got married, bought a house and lived our life gratefully. We received the shock of our lives when I discovered I was pregnant and agonized over what we should do. It resulted in a few raised eyebrows from Dr's but nevertheless we have decided to go for it. After all none of us know what the future holds but at the same time it does feel reckless.

Families are overjoyed an close friends have been supportive. I don't know why, but we never really 'announced' it and tend to just drop it in to conversation when we see people. The reactions are never particularly positive and everyone always mentions my health, without fail. I'm tempted to keep my head down and
just chuck out am "ive had a baby" status update when shes here (not that im an avid FB user or anything) and leave it at that. I cant deal with constant talk of my previous health problems because it was hard enough to control my worries let alone now im pg. Has anyone had any similar experiences of keekey or dealing with negativity thrown at them during pg and how did you handle it?I really am surprised at how ive struggled to ignore the worry that I suspect people think im a reckless idiot.

AvaLeStrange Mon 11-Apr-16 16:59:34

I don't know how to suggest dealing with the negativity of others but wanted to wish you all the best flowers.

My nephew & his wife became the proud parents of a baby boy last year 3 years after she got the all clear from lymphoma - they are all doing great smile.

Toocold Mon 11-Apr-16 17:03:04

Congratulations, such lovely news. I haven't experienced what you have but you have one life, it should be lived for you, what you want and your husband want. You only get one chance and as you know life is precious and other people aren't living it for you .

Seriousjockin Mon 11-Apr-16 17:32:46

Congratulations to you and your DH, what gorgeous news, you must be thrilled to bits.

Sorry (and quite shocked) to hear you have had to deal with some negative reactions. If somebody I knew was in your situation I would be genuinely overjoyed for them. You sound like you have overcome so much already, you should be able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

(For what it's worth, as someone 'impartial' who doesn't know you, I don't think there is anything reckless about your circumstances. You are moving forward with your life in a wonderful new direction, such amazing times ahead. Nothing in life is guaranteed, if any of us mulled on that too much we would never set foot outside the door in the morning!)

Don't listen to the negative comments (even if they are well meaning and come from a good place) - enjoy your pregnancy and your beautiful baby when she arrives.

Nanny0gg Mon 11-Apr-16 18:17:45

Congratulations flowers

Are the negative seeming comments out of concern for your health?

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Mon 11-Apr-16 18:27:01


I don't think I've ever announced any of my pregnancies (outside of family and friends). People have either noticed the bump or seen me with the baby.

As for negative comments, they happen whatever your previous/ current/ possible future circumstances when you're pregnant.

maras2 Mon 11-Apr-16 18:30:22

Wonderful news liz and Mr liz Don't know what else to say without sounding condescending but best of luck from the maras family < not a dry eye in this house > smile flowers

crayfish Mon 11-Apr-16 18:44:30

I am surprised you have had such negative reactions, if I knew somebody in your situation I would be over the moon for them! You are not doing something reckless, you are living your life as you have every right to do. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow (as could anyone), should I have not had my son just in case? Of course not. I think that's the way you have to think about it. I sometimes think that if something happened to me I would be so very glad I had created DS as he makes the world a better place, I'm sure your baby will too. Congratulations and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Mon 11-Apr-16 19:02:47

Congratulations flowers

Sorry if I missed it in your post, but it sounds like you're now all clear? I don't understand why your history would make people react negatively given that you and DH who went through it/are going through it are thrilled? Regardless, they should be supportive and not offer negative opinions unless asked

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