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AIBU to NOT congratulate her on her book deal?

(54 Posts)
StayAnon55 Mon 11-Apr-16 11:12:04

A former colleague of mine today announced on social media she will shortly be having her book published.

To cut a very long story short, I had to have counselling as a result of how she treated me in the workplace - constantly belittling me, criticizing me, personal comments etc.

However, the entire office I know how much she wanted to get a book deal and part of me thinks I should wish her congratulations on her Facebook.

Despite our history and her general I'm-better-than-everyone attitude, I'm actually genuinely happy for her but I just can't seem to bring myself to say congratulations.

Should I try and move on from what happened and wish her congratulations or should I just let it slide?

MidniteScribbler Mon 11-Apr-16 11:14:56

I'd go one step further and just delete her from facebook. Why on earth have you even got her as a friend?

Stillunexpected Mon 11-Apr-16 11:15:21

She is a former colleague who behaved very badly to you. Why are you still in contact? Why are you friends on FB? Unless there is some particular need for you to remain in contact, I would remove her as a friend and not have any further contact with someone like this. Surely life is too short?

Ouriana Mon 11-Apr-16 11:15:40

Let it slide. She is not and hasnt been a friend to you so you dont need to say anything at all, also she bullied you delete herr off you social media.

curren Mon 11-Apr-16 11:16:09

Why didn't you unfriend her when she was being such a bitch?

Why do you feel you should do anything?

WorraLiberty Mon 11-Apr-16 11:16:27

Why on god's earth do you have her as a facebook friend? confused

Beevor Mon 11-Apr-16 11:17:38

^ this.

Delete and block, or get over it and be friends.

Birdsgottafly Mon 11-Apr-16 11:18:27

As said, cut contact, you owe this person nothing.

You can always just hide her, if it would make things awkward with others, don't congratulate her, it won't be noticed.

StayAnon55 Mon 11-Apr-16 11:20:05

Initially, she was nice to me but it's only as we started working more closely together that her behaviour towards me changed. I didn't delete her from FB as I didn't want her to ask me why I had, I don't like confrontation.

I thought perhaps I was being a 'bigger person" by congratulating her but I think you are right. She no longer works with me I should just delete and forget and hope she doesn't send me a message asking why I deleted her!

curren Mon 11-Apr-16 11:21:36

Don't open the message or block her. I don't open messages from people I don't know or want to. It's easy

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 11-Apr-16 11:21:50

and hope she doesn't send me a message asking why I deleted her!

If she does ^ ignore it.

sepa Mon 11-Apr-16 11:22:00

Delete the bitchbag. She is a former colleague anyway so you don't need to deal with 'why have you deleted me' bull crap!
As a bully she needs a slap in the face not a congratulations! I hope her book is a flop shock

NewLife4Me Mon 11-Apr-16 11:24:44

She can't have been that bad to you as you consider her your friend.
She'd have been long gone from my fb pages.
I guess it's another example of what people consider friendship these days.

acasualobserver Mon 11-Apr-16 11:39:09

Congratulate her. And then give her book a very bad review on Amazon.

sepa Mon 11-Apr-16 11:40:15

^^ totally agree with the bad book review grin

SaucyJack Mon 11-Apr-16 11:42:54

Delete her for both of your sakes.

You don't like her (understandably), or wish her well. What's the point of staying in contact?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 11-Apr-16 11:44:41

Don't worry about it just ignore because any response just asks for remewed contact.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 11-Apr-16 11:45:09


LanaorAna1 Mon 11-Apr-16 11:50:55

Author here - just don't buy the book.

supersop60 Mon 11-Apr-16 12:02:08

You can block her on FB; she won't know until she tries to look at your timeline or contact you. Don't congratulate her. No contact. And breathe.

Itinerary Mon 11-Apr-16 12:02:56

Don't congratulate, delete and block.

I have gone down the route of trying to be nice to people who weren't nice to me in the past. It just gets ignored and you don't feel any better.

Curioushorse Mon 11-Apr-16 12:03:55

Oh's my opportunity to confess the worst thing I've ever done.

I was once in the exact same situation....except the person involved had not been horrible to me, but others. She was also utterly terrible at her job- probably, as we now realise, because she spent most of her time writing her book.

Her book was non-fiction but on an area related to our line of work. Thus her job was pretty significant. I knew, therefore, that large sections of her book would have to be fictional, because she was so bad at her job.

She was asked to leave work, roughly at the point when she started feigning illness to have days off in order to promote her book.

Several days later she put a facebook post out saying that we should all read a particular national newspaper that weekend because an extract from her book would be in it.

I emailed the national newspaper saying that her book would all be lies. I gave them some suggestions for how they could tell it would all be lies (would the people interviewed in the book have been interviewed anonymously, for example....because they were fictional). The national newspaper withdrew their offer. I probably lost my ex-colleague thousands of pounds in sales as a result. I have never regretted it.

(I've also defriended her, because my sanity could no longer cope with her bullshit posts)

Itsmine Mon 11-Apr-16 12:06:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acasualobserver Mon 11-Apr-16 12:07:25

An inspiring post, Curioushorse which shows the best form of revenge is ... actually revenge.

PPie10 Mon 11-Apr-16 12:09:22

Yanbu, you don't have to be the bigger person to someone who has treated you badly. It wouldn't be heartfelt anyway so don't waste your time on her. And block her too! You will feel better after you do.

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