This is my first ever post (long time lurker) so I'm throwing myself in at the deep end but am prepared to accept if I am deemed to be unreasonable!
I don't want to go into too much detail in case I out myself in RL as my family situation is quite identifiable but a bit of background - I have a close relationship with my DDad and always have had since I can remember. I am his only biological child but my DM has DC from her previous marriage that are much older than I am. My DDad for all intents and purposes brought my half siblings up as they don't really have much to do with their DDad (although he is in their lives). Despite this, they are not really close to my DDad because they're all (including my DM) rather emotionally detached for reasons I won't go into. I am not very close to my DM or my siblings because of the emotional detachment but they are kind of close as a unit. My DDad and I are much more outgoing and open so a completely different kettle of fish altogether. My DDad has helped all my siblings out over the years, with money and physical help (which they have all taken for granted) but they never do anything nice for him in return, which upsets me and makes me feel bad for him because of how much he's had to sacrifice over the years to feed, clothe and keep a roof over their heads whilst their DDad did nothing to contribute to their upbringing (he left my DM for another woman when they were very young and my DM was in too much of a bad place mentally to force him to face up to his responsibilities).
My DDad and I have interests in common and there is a place we both want to visit as a day trip, which I suggested we do soon as there is a particular offer on which makes it cheaper to go. However, my DM doesn't like it if he and I spend any time together without her, even though she has no interest in the things we are interested in! She goes off with her other DC/DGC/BF on trips and holidays without my DDad and he encourages her to do this but she doesn't like it if he does the same and actually gets quite nasty about it! If it wasn't for me and my DH my DDad wouldn't be treated to nice days out as my siblings only do that sort of thing with my DM, so I always compensate for this because I feel like he gets a bum deal in our family and I am the only one that can even things out a bit to show that he is very much loved by my DH and I.
So am I being unreasonable for wanting to spend time with my DDad? My DM just seems to have a way of turning everything around so it's all about her and I feel guilty...
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AIBU?
To want to spend time with my Dad?
11 replies
DelBoysSovereignRing · 11/04/2016 00:55
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