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To think he is monumentally taking the piss?

(30 Posts)
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 10-Apr-16 15:22:57

Friends coming for lunch/ early dinner. Primarily DH's friends, fyi, though I like them too. Went to tutor someone at 12.30, left DH to get DS to sleep (not easy, to be fair). Came back at 2.30 via tesco to start the roast, to find flat still a shit tip and DH lying in our bed next to DS. He'd had to take him for a drive to get him to sleep, fair enough- no time to tidy. But I've been asking him to get up and do it since I got back (while I've been stuffing a pork leg, chopping veg etc), and have just been in to ask for the fourth time and he'd fallen asleep. They're due at 4. There is currently nowhere in the living room they could sit without moving toys. So I shouted a bit and told him either he gets up now and does it, calls his friends to cancel or I'm going out as I am not being here to have them arrive in this mess. And now he says I'm being mean. Genuinely tempted to put the pork in the oven then fuck off and leave him to it. Nob.

TowerRavenSeven Sun 10-Apr-16 15:24:47

Yanbu. His friends? Let him do it.

YouTheCat Sun 10-Apr-16 15:26:22

I'd bugger off to the cinema or something and leave him to it.

Arfarfanarf Sun 10-Apr-16 15:26:33

Why are you being mean?
Does he think that cleaning is your job and he doesnt have to pull his weight and youre unreasonable for expecting it?
Surely not because that would make him an arse, right?

Or does he think the living room is in an acceptable state for guests?

Yeah. Id be tempted to go out too in your shoes.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 10-Apr-16 15:27:14

Any reason he's really tired? Up all night with DS? Otherwise, just go out.

AdrenalineFudge Sun 10-Apr-16 15:29:07

I'd leave him to it tbh, how many times can you really get on at someone about something without driving yourself insane in the process.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 10-Apr-16 15:30:17

Apparently his argument which he has nust come into the kitchen to make is that a) I also take a long time to get out of bed sometimes and b) that he didn't need that long to do it but he was going to do it. The fact that there might be other stuff I'd like his help with, DS might wake up and need entertaining, other thibgs that might require it to be done bot in the last fuckig ten minutes available seems to have escaped him. Twat.
And he is tired, in fairness, but so am I!

Shantotto Sun 10-Apr-16 15:32:01

I'd go out and take the pork with me.

YouTheCat Sun 10-Apr-16 15:32:11

Weak argument from him then. Definitely go out.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 10-Apr-16 15:34:17

Exactly Adrenaline!

Penguinepenguins Sun 10-Apr-16 15:34:44

LTB with any wine you have purchased...

Return later but that should make him Buck up his ideas

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 10-Apr-16 15:36:45

Now he says I'm overreacti gwhich is probably true but I'm so bloody sick of being the one to mastermind all house related tasks/ timing/ order etc. And he will apologise but only if I do too. Fuck sake.

YouTheCat Sun 10-Apr-16 15:38:33

What does he expect you to apologise for? You haven't done anything wrong. confused

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 10-Apr-16 15:39:29

And am I glutened, he wonders? (Coeliac disease - gluten makes me irrationally furious when I accidentally have it) but NO. I AM CROSS. Legitimately. Gah.

TowerRavenSeven Sun 10-Apr-16 15:53:01

Eagerly awaiting update...are they there yet?

LumpySpacedPrincess Sun 10-Apr-16 15:55:11

Take the afternoon of and read wifework

Then get him to read it.

Then just stop doing all the organising, his mates, let him do it.

LumpySpacedPrincess Sun 10-Apr-16 15:55:35

off even

LumpySpacedPrincess Sun 10-Apr-16 15:56:33

God, he'll be telling you it's your hormones next.

SuperFlyHigh Sun 10-Apr-16 15:58:46

i hope you swanned out and left him to it.

AugustaFinkNottle Sun 10-Apr-16 16:29:01

It's utterly irrelevant that you may take a long time to get out of bed sometimes unless you do it in the afternoon when you're expecting guests leaving him to do all the cooking and tidying.

DoreenLethal Sun 10-Apr-16 16:43:01

I have to say I wouldn't have shouted, I'd have just sat and read a book or gone out to do some stuff and let his friends come into a shit tip. Are you his PA?

Valentine2 Sun 10-Apr-16 16:43:12

That's the reason I have stopped throwing parties for DH's friends recently. It was always me doing majority of the work the planning the child care while he had fun with his friends. And on my turn? You guess it. So I stopped doing ANY cooking, ANY invites to his side of friends and it has made a big difference . He really treasures it when I make that odd roast and ask him if he fancies to ask some of his lot to come over and join us. He cleans the whole house, looks after the DCs too a lot more on that day and gives me a small thank you treat too for it. But I am evil.

Valentine2 Sun 10-Apr-16 16:44:16

No I am not evil. Just joking. I think I am being fair. If we invite people as a couple, we contribute to the work as a couple too. Otherwise no party at all.

EweAreHere Sun 10-Apr-16 17:43:04

Point out to him that you know he's tired, but so are you. And anything he decides he doesn't want to do because he's tired obviously means he is perfectly happy leaving it for you to deal with it. Which is selfish and unreasonable and not being a caring partner.

I'd go out for the evening, tbh.

BeckyMcDonald Sun 10-Apr-16 17:48:36

Oh god I can't stand this. We have it with Leaving The House. I start half an hour earlier, packing drinks for the kids, sorting car seats out, making them go to the toilet, tidying, finding coats, shoes etc. Five minutes before we leave I finally fly into a rage after asking him to have a shower 14 times and he says 'I'm going in now, I'll only be two minutes.' Well yes, you will. But only because I have fully prepared the family so when you deign to rise from your throne to cleanse the Royal body we will all be almost ready so you can descend the stairs, make your grand entrance and go straight out to the car.

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