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to not agree with sleepovers for kids aged under 5 or even slightly older?!

(72 Posts)
MigraineMartie Sat 09-Apr-16 22:49:14

Am I crazy?
I am a 35 year old mother, normal enough I would say!
Yet I just can't seem to agree with my family on this subject who think the children ( aged 4 and a baby ) should be staying over at cousins etc for sleepovers by now - in particular the 4 year old DD
I don't know how she would be as generally she is always in our care, we have quite an attachment parenting relationship if you like so aside from pre school and school come September she is with us in all that we do.
I don't feel like she misses out on anything, and she's never asked to stay anywhere without us although has started to question why cousins stay at grandparents and she doesn't but more in a confused sense rather than envy and when asked if she would like to always asks why we would need to leave her instead of taking her home with us.
Am I alone in my view that it's not needed and actually 4 is very young for this anyway?

arethereanyleftatall Sat 09-Apr-16 22:54:40

It's up to you, but I would say sleepovers are probably the favourite thing in the world my girls do (started around 4).

I didnt realise it wasn't the done thing until dd1 asked for a sleepover for her 5th birthday party. I said fine, and duly invited 6 of her friends. The parents were 'wtaf?' And I discovered my faux pax and changed it to a pyjama party.

parissont Sat 09-Apr-16 22:56:54

I agree. I don't see any need for them at an age where the hosting parent has to put loads of effort in.

From 9 onwards they can amuse themselves so sleepovers ok

Itinerary Sat 09-Apr-16 22:57:39

If you're not happy with it at this stage, your family should respect your wishes.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sat 09-Apr-16 22:57:54

Jeez! 'Sleepovers' where? In strangers homes? Yanbu

But lots of MNers LOVE sleepovers so you will probably get shouted down

PacificDogwod Sat 09-Apr-16 22:58:23

Of course it's not needed, but can be fun.
All depends on the child involved rather than one specific age cut-off IMO.

Ameliablue Sat 09-Apr-16 22:58:58

It obviously isn't necessary but there is also nothing wrong with it particularly with cousins.

Skivvywoman Sat 09-Apr-16 22:59:44

I wouldn't mind my kids having a sleepover with family but each to there own,

But I hate sleepovers when dd asks for friends to stay i always have an excuse ready lol

edwinbear Sat 09-Apr-16 23:00:45

Dd (4) and ds (6) have sleepovers with their cousins but they are being taken care of by my dsis to whom we are very close. We have had a 6 yr old friend of ds over for a sleepover but again the parents are good friends too so we see them a lot. I don't think 4 yr old dd is ready for a non family one, although she would disagree as she is an independent little madam grin

Chippednailvarnish Sat 09-Apr-16 23:01:15

My 4 year old and her best friend beg to have sleepovers. They love them...

HughGrantsHair Sat 09-Apr-16 23:01:38

Surely sleepovers at family member's homes aren't as bad at that age if the child wants to. They know the adults at least.

I wouldn't do friend sleepovers at that age.

Itsmine Sat 09-Apr-16 23:02:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ameliablue Sat 09-Apr-16 23:02:15

Mumontherun it wasn't strangers, it was family which I think is entirely different.

lorisparkle Sat 09-Apr-16 23:02:59

I think there is a difference between 'sleepovers' and staying with family. My DS have been staying with grandma since they were toddlers - a very popular occasion for both them and DH and me. However none have them have been to sleepover at a friends house although DS1 and DS2 have been on Beaver camps and cub camps. BUT it is entirely up to you however I do know my friend is very concerned because her DS who will be 10yrs old is due to go on a 5 day school residential and he has never been looked after by anyone other than her and preschool/school.

RhinestoneCowgirl Sat 09-Apr-16 23:04:26

I'm fairly lentil weavery myself, but my DC started staying over at Nana's house once they were 3 or 4 yrs old (once they reliably slept through the night).

Sleep overs with friends are different. Oldest has had a couple from age 8, youngest is 7 and hasn't yet.

Lumpylumperson Sat 09-Apr-16 23:04:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheeseAndOnionWalkers Sat 09-Apr-16 23:04:55

No need imo.

Mine started in juniors. By then most kids are out of night time pullups, used to being left for parties and have got to know their classmates families (asssuming they started at school in Reception) so it becomes fun for them.

goodenoughmum88 Sat 09-Apr-16 23:05:19

A group of 4/5 year olds all "sleeping" over?!? What fresh hell is this?!?! No way, not on your Nellie! Recipe for insanity!

Rainbowlou1 Sat 09-Apr-16 23:07:46

My dd had sleepovers with cousins from about 4, friends from 10 I think?
My ds is 7 and wouldn't sleep away from home if you paid him!! (Still won't be left at parties!)

UmbongoUnchained Sat 09-Apr-16 23:08:01

My daughter has been having sleep overs with my parents and my brothers since she was a few weeks old!

Sandbrook Sat 09-Apr-16 23:12:30

My lot have always had sleepovers at cousins. Regular occurrence as we all babysit for each other.

No friends sleepovers until they are over 8.

madamginger Sat 09-Apr-16 23:12:46

My DCs have slept at grandmas house lots of times from being toddlers, usually if DH and I are working and she is watching them the next day, but not a chance for friends until juniors and even then it's 50/50!

TooMuchRain Sat 09-Apr-16 23:14:29

I wouldn't consider staying with family a 'sleepover', that's just staying with family and normal from very early on for us.

MigraineMartie Sat 09-Apr-16 23:17:28

Neither set of grandparents do babysitting at all actually - zero I mean, not an hour here and there, nothing
They do it when really pushed into a corner but would never willingly offer and we have never asked so ours have always been in our care apart from DD and started school nursery in September
This is actually fine with us although not so find with siblings on both sides who think they should do more

Itsmine Sat 09-Apr-16 23:17:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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