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To think that I should be allowed to keep my books on our bookcase?

(116 Posts)
EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 16:42:33

I never venture onto AIBU. Be gentle.

My DP doesn't approve of some of my books and has removed them from the bookcase. She says she doesn't want 'any of that shit around' (religion).

I think it's outrageous censorship, she thinks it's her right. Is SIBU or am I?

bearbehind Sat 09-Apr-16 16:46:46

Surely if she doesn't want 'any of that shit around' then this is about more than just the bookcase- presumably she doesn't want it in the house at all?

Not really sure how you can be with someone with whom you disagree on such a fundamental point- if religion is important to you and she can't even stand the sight of a book about it that seems a pretty big gap between you.

Spandexpants007 Sat 09-Apr-16 16:47:43

What sort of religious books?

ijustwannadance Sat 09-Apr-16 16:48:06

Yanbu at all.

FourEyesGood Sat 09-Apr-16 16:48:17

This is a weird one. What exactly are these books?
I'd hate to have books on show in my house that misrepresented my beliefs, so I can see her point of view.

Hassled Sat 09-Apr-16 16:48:37

SIBU. Is she an atheist and do you have a religious faith - is this part of some long-running difference of opinions? But regardless, unless your books are massively offensive in some way, you can have whatever books you want.

kimlo Sat 09-Apr-16 16:48:49

Allowed? Her right to tell you what you can and cant own?

None of that shits right.

Scarydinosaurs Sat 09-Apr-16 16:49:18

Are the books going to cause offence to visitors?

kimlo Sat 09-Apr-16 16:49:56

But foureyes they dont mossrepresent the dps belief, they do represent the ops beliefs.

EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 16:53:15

They are normal paperbacks in a swathe of other books so hardly on show. Yes, it's obviously part of a much bigger issue which we're working through. But I was just curious what people think about this narrow aspect of it.

Gatehouse77 Sat 09-Apr-16 16:53:44

SIBU. Even though we are atheists we own at least one bible (from school days) and a set of books about different religions.

I love the diversity of our bookshelves - fiction, non-fiction, serious stuff, comedy, religion, biographies, auto biographies, etc.

pinkcan Sat 09-Apr-16 16:54:30

Weird. Can't you both put your books on the bookcase?

If you are religious and it's a problem for her, why do you live together?

FourEyesGood Sat 09-Apr-16 16:55:01

kimlo My point is that they would be misrepresenting the OP's partner's beliefs.
As an atheist, I would hate to have certain religious books on display in my house.

EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 16:55:26

They are not offensive, except to someone who is offended by any mention of Christianity.

BlueFolly Sat 09-Apr-16 16:55:53

Why do you need them on show? If I was with someone who wanted copies of Watchtower, for instance, on display I would cringe beyond belief and ask them to move them.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 09-Apr-16 16:58:51

In what other ways is she a controlling loon?

EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 17:00:30

We have several bookcases, all more or less full of books belonging to both of us. New ones usually just get shoved in anywhere. These are ones I bought in the last year but she's only just noticed them.

foureyes I have books about politics but I don't agree with every word, and travel books of places I've never been (on would want to). Why would a book about Christianity represent DPs beliefs just by being there amongst the rest?

00100001 Sat 09-Apr-16 17:00:53

She sounds like a twat.


AdrenalineFudge Sat 09-Apr-16 17:00:53

I don't see how you could be in a relationship and disagree on something so critical. I have different beliefs to my DP but he'd never 'ban' me from putting up a book about my beliefs on the book shelf.

LaurieFairyCake Sat 09-Apr-16 17:03:59

It's either ok to share the fucking bookcase or it's not

I have a Jeffrey archer biography to read plus various other books by or about undesirables

It's books, not evil brainwashing.

Obviously her problem is with you and your religion.

Why does she get to decide what you think or keep? Nope, she doesn't.


EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 17:04:29

bluefolly they weren't on show - they were stuck in the middle of the bottom shelf between larger books. She 'found' two of them today - I suspect a visiting toddler had pulled them out - and then looked through carefully to remove any other offending titles.

EdithSimcox Sat 09-Apr-16 17:06:04

DTF? Is that the same as LTB?

capsium Sat 09-Apr-16 17:06:50

The options are:

1)get another bookcase. Could have doors so her eyes would not be offended by the titles.
2)pass the ones you have read on. This is nice because other people could benefit from them. Keep only the ones you want to refer to in a drawer, cupboard or suitcase. You could ask your church if you could build up a collection there that everyone can share.
3)ignore her. Just keep putting them on the shelf and shrug saying they need to go somewhere.

Going from what you have said about your situation before, yes this is unfair but you know why she is being like this - she doesn't want to accept your religious faith.

If you want to keep the peace, option 3 seems best but maybe a bit challenging. I love books, I hate to see them go to. At least if your church would build up a collection you could look at them when you want.

cozietoesie Sat 09-Apr-16 17:06:51

You 'ban my books' and in effect, you're 'banning me'. I read them - for different reasons, perhaps - so they represent something of interest to me. Expressing your views on an issue might soon follow in the disapproval stakes, I fancy.

MitzyLeFrouf Sat 09-Apr-16 17:07:14

Sounds about as fun as living with Miss Hannigan. Is she always this controlling?

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