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Or is £100 a month pocket money fair?

(144 Posts)
Picturesofmatchstickmen Sat 09-Apr-16 14:11:41

DH thinks it's too much pocket money for dd1(18) She is at college full time so we still get CB for her. She repeated a year at school so is at the stage of most 17 year old, but technically an adult. I give her £50 basic a month, plus another £50 at the end of the month if she does a few jobs around the house (max thirty minutes a day) she also babysits her younger brother and sister whenever asked (varies, sometimes once a week, sometimes more) and makes them lunch, dinner if we are working.
I also pay for her phone, Netflix and haircuts (all adds up to another £50 a month) I buy essential clothes. She spends her money on going to gigs, train fares visiting friends, non essential clothes, make-up, going out, cinema, lunch while at college (but this is because she doesn't get up on time to make a packed lunch) and equipment for her hobby.
DH thinks because she works in a takeaway until early hours two nights a week then we should reduce her allowance. I think if she's motivated enough to do this on top of full time study she should get to keep or save that money to spend as she wants. I should add that the course, although classified as full time, is actually only 28 hours a week over four days.
I'd be really interested to know how much money other people give to their older kids? We are not well off, but can afford to give her this money whilst we are still getting CB for her.

ssd Sat 09-Apr-16 14:12:41

I wouldn't mind pocket money of £100 a month

ssd Sat 09-Apr-16 14:14:05

I dont give ds 18 pocket money but if you do thats your business op, am sure if your happy your dd will be happy, no need to worry what others do or dont do, but I can understand you asking

Thattimeofyearagain Sat 09-Apr-16 14:16:01

If you can afford it then why not.

cheminotte Sat 09-Apr-16 14:16:55

Sounds like a lot to me. I would either reduce her pocket money or stop paying for the non essentials such as haircuts, phone and Netflix. Is she saving anything? Are you planning on giving her less when you stop getting CB?

Rdoo Sat 09-Apr-16 14:19:12

I don't have older kids but think that sounds fair.
She's sounds like a good kid and if you can afford it why not?

butteredmuffin Sat 09-Apr-16 14:20:11

Woah... I didn't have pocket money when I was 18, I had a part-time job. I probably still don't spend £100 a month on that kind of stuff now, and I'm 30.

Your DD is very lucky. Hope she appreciates all you do for her!

whois Sat 09-Apr-16 14:21:09

Sounds fair since she is being a pleasant member of the household and babysitting etc. You shouldn't punish her for working in the takeaway by reducing the pocket money, what does that teach her? Lazy people profit?

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve Sat 09-Apr-16 14:22:39

She's studying, working, helping out at home. Well worth £100.00. Only issue might be that she isn't getting used to having to budget etc.

SurferJet Sat 09-Apr-16 14:23:12

I give ds ( 16 ) £80 a month.

Mari50 Sat 09-Apr-16 14:23:25

I think that's fairly reasonable, as long as you can afford it. When I was 18 I had a part time job, my mum gave me my child allowance and my dad gave me £50 a month and that was a long time ago (25years)
I won't be letting my DD know that though!!

Chorltonswheelies422 Sat 09-Apr-16 14:23:33

Pocket money is what you get for doing chores at home because you are too young to get a part time job.

It's up to you of course but that is a lot. Are you certain that your DD understands the true cost of things? Does she know how to budget? It's a tough world out there and knowing how to live within your means is essential.

I stopped pocket money for my DD when she took part time work and put money into an account instead. I know that when she receives that money in a few years she will be so grateful because she's at uni on a tight budget and has to make sensible choices and is very aware how tough it can be if you don't have supportive parents.

daisiesinthespring Sat 09-Apr-16 14:24:34

Sounds fair to me.

Ineedmorepatience Sat 09-Apr-16 14:27:48

Dd2 went away for 6th form, she lived in at college and had 2 meals per day provided for her I gave her her CB and paid separately for her phone, she didnt have a job.

She did really well most months and only occasionally needed extra money!

I think based on everything your Dd does (she sounds lovely btw) and if you can afford it, why not!

butteredmuffin Sat 09-Apr-16 14:27:58

I suppose if she's doing around 30 minutes' housework a day that's about 15 hours a month so when you look at it like that it's only like paying her minimum wage for the help she gives you.

Picturesofmatchstickmen Sat 09-Apr-16 14:28:13

The budgeting point is a good one, it's occurred to me before as she always seems to spend what she has - she will save in the short term, for example she saved up to go to Alton Towers with her friends for a weekend, but she hasn't actually got any money saved up.

AyeAmarok Sat 09-Apr-16 14:30:25

Sounds generous but equally it sounds like she does quite a lot to help you out as well, so I think it sounds fine.

Babyroobs Sat 09-Apr-16 14:30:51

I was giving my 16 yr old ds £100 a month up until he got a part time job and started to earn between £250- £300 a month. I then reduced it to £50 a month. he still can't seem to budget though and I still end up paying for his phone and some clothing.

Picturesofmatchstickmen Sat 09-Apr-16 14:32:42

I suppose if she's doing around 30 minutes' housework a day that's about 15 hours a month so when you look at it like that it's only like paying her minimum wage for the help she gives you
That's a good point, I will mention it to DH!

HanYOLO Sat 09-Apr-16 14:33:12

So she has £150 per month to spend on herself or spent on her entertainment, plus a part time job?

I agree with your DH and I think you are setting her up not to be self -sufficient. Are you planning to continue to subsidise her at this rate should she choose to go to university when she has fees and accommodation on top?

30 mins housework per day is only what one would expect of a member of the family, surely, not something that needs to be paid?

Fruitypebbles Sat 09-Apr-16 14:33:58

28 hours of study? Is that just in class time or altogether including out of hours study? Because it's quite a lot of time in class.

I used to get my mums child support money - she wasn't using it, so I got 80 a month and JT meant I could go out with my friends and stuff. She's working, although I wouldn't pay for things like Netflix. Haircuts maybe though.

AStreetcarNamedBob Sat 09-Apr-16 14:34:31

She sounds like a good help and an asset to the household. I wouldn't begrudge that money if you can afford it.

PrincessHairyMclary Sat 09-Apr-16 14:34:31

I think that I would lower it to £50 a month with the phone etc on top and then save the other £50 a month/buy premium bands in her name. Teaching her the value of money and investing in her future.

At 18 my parents brought my clothes (vouchers at birthday and Christmas) and paid £10 for my phone a month and paid for basic hair cuts (if I wanted color etc that was on me) I worked and paid for any extras myself (I think..it was a while ago)

LyndaNotLinda Sat 09-Apr-16 14:34:39

I don't think it's too much per se but as a PP pointed out, she's used to having £100 spare for treats every month so she's not learning anything about managing on a budget. Actually, she's got more than that if she's earning too - does she spend all that on fripperies too? That's a lot of cash to burn through monthly and she's going to have a nasty shock when she leaves home and her standard of living plummets.

And what's going to happen when her CB stops (assuming she's still living at home)? Will you have to stop the money dead or cut it substantially?

ImperialBlether Sat 09-Apr-16 14:35:03

But why should someone get paid for doing housework in a house they live in?! Does the OP get paid for this? Does her husband?

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