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In saying a week of compassionate leave for losing a parent is unfair?

(202 Posts)
Helenwiththebigmelons Fri 08-Apr-16 19:03:19

Yes yes, life is unfair - but really, a week away from work because a parent has died? Is that all that can be granted?

I work for a logistics company as a Financial Admin, and I was told today by a colleague that this is all you get granted whilst on the topic of compassionate leave etc.

Isn't this shocking? In my last work place, my boss insisted on another colleague taking 3 weeks of fully paid leave to come to terms with things - he didn't even mention funeral arrangements.

What is your workplace policy like for compassionate leave? Perhaps I'm oblivious to some harsh realities.

ChessieFL Fri 08-Apr-16 19:05:06

Ours (public sector) is a week but can be extended to two weeks in exceptional circumstances. In my experience people usually take longer than this by using up annual leave or being signed off sick.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Fri 08-Apr-16 19:05:17

We get two days for a parent, brother, sister etc and one week for a child. So your company does sound slightly more generous!

HildaFlorence Fri 08-Apr-16 19:05:51

In my experience a week is generous for paid leave , 3 to 4 days is more standard, anymore would be unpaid .

Laidupwithabrokenleg Fri 08-Apr-16 19:05:54

It sounds about the norm. However, in that situation most people would get signed off with stress etc if they needed more time off.

DragonMamma Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:02

Ours is 3 days compassionate. In reality it's more for when parents die but it is discretionary and there's an assumption you'll get signed off sick for part of it eventually anyway.

RJnomore1 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:10

One week for a parent is standard.

It's to make practical arrangements really not for the grief. If the grief makes you I'll there's the option of seeing a gp and being signed off.

FuzzyOwl Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:13

My company is also two days (including time off for funeral). Anything further, which is generally looked upon sympathetically I should add, is generally taken by people being off sick.

Sirzy Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:15

I would say a week, maybe two is about right.

tilliebob Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:32

It's a week in my work (teacher, so local council). However when I lost my dad, on the first day of session last August, I went back after 3 weeks. My lovely HT was amazed I was back so soon. I had no worries getting a line to be off either - the doctor wrote it when he came to visit mum and I at home. It was 2.5 weeks from losing dad until the funeral for a start. A week is nowhere near long enough for most people I wouldn't think.

annandale Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:33

If I thought I was not fit for work, I would visit my GP.

It's not easy though, I work in a job where one day is mildly difficult to cover, one week is hard, more than that gets REALLY hard for my team. I actually spend quite a lot of time worrying about this even though my parents are fit and well blush

Helenwiththebigmelons Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:45

Livia can you claim compassionate leave for a lost pregnancy?

It seems absurd that it isn't granted within my workplace!

Sirzy Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:51

(Right as in fair for the company but giving family some time to do the arranging required£

Noregretsatall Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:56

I got no compassionate leave when my Mum died. I had to take what I needed to arrange funeral, come to terms with my loss and support my Dad from my meagre annual leave. Needless to say, one year on and I've now resigned.

RandomMess Fri 08-Apr-16 19:07:16

What I think is unfair is that it is only blood family. I'd like to substitute my rights for the people that matter to me and forgo the leave for family!

Kewcumber Fri 08-Apr-16 19:07:16

Isn't a week pretty standard?

SquidgeyMidgey Fri 08-Apr-16 19:07:29

I think my DH gets 2 days, as do I. To be honest, harsh as it sounds (and I have lost a parent following cancer) if everyone had a month off on losing a parent the effect on employers would be massive. It's a harsh reality that we all have to face one day.

murmuration Fri 08-Apr-16 19:09:07

We have up to 5 days paid, at the discretion of your line manager (so it could be less), and also at their descretion up to another week unpaid. My parents are overseas, so it clearly going to take me at least two weeks to visit and sort things in the eventuality, so I suppose I will have to take holiday and hope its granted.

cardibach Fri 08-Apr-16 19:09:14

As Laidup says, that's about normal. If someone needs more, it's reasonable to be signed off sick. For many people (like me) work is beneficial.

Helenwiththebigmelons Fri 08-Apr-16 19:10:01

I too would worry endlessly about my TEAM if I were to take a week away. Let alone 3.

It's so bloody hectic, I often consider finding something elsewhere - but I cannot bring myself to leave the lovely people sad

Laidupwithabrokenleg Fri 08-Apr-16 19:10:23

I would think a lost pregnancy would be cover by sick leave if early on, then maternity leave would come in if you were far along enough for that.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Fri 08-Apr-16 19:16:50

My ex was entitled to 3 days leave when our daughter died.

Thankfully his work mates pulled together to do his job and he got 3 weeks thanks to them and some fibs on paperwork, his head office were cunts, his manager was lovely.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:17:01

I think it's quite generous where I am (university). I've known people to take weeks off for parents dying or terminal illness. In fact months for either of those, though I have no idea what the pay situation was. I'm very lucky the managers are very compassionate about any type of problem affecting staff or their families. Whenever I've had to take time off they've encouraged me to stay off as long as I need and say 'it's only work. Your family / health is more important.'

BeALert Fri 08-Apr-16 19:17:10

It was 3 days paid leave in my last job, but we had a bank of shared leave that people donated which tended to be used for things like this.

Xmasbaby11 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:19:30

My work would also let you reduce hours on a temp basis, eg a colleague was nursing her mother and just worked 2 days a week for a year to keep her contract, basically.

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