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(10 Posts)
Cutecat78 Fri 08-Apr-16 16:35:12

OH and I have been engaged for 4 yrs. we haven't got married mainly due to logistics (he works abroad a lothes in the military). We have a small ish family just parents and siblings but two of our siblings (and their families) live abroad.

We also have six children between us (none together) and have both done the "big" wedding before.

We just want to get married and I am torn between just going and doing it (do you include the children and then end up with six kids on your wedding night?!).

To having a small family do and then a party afterwards next year. We don't want to spend loads of money or have a massive traditional wedding. My sister and I get on ok but for example she is in the country for two weeks this summer but has no plans to see me - we were going to try and do it when everyone is in the country (our families in this country do not live nearby) but tbh I also don't want to feel like I am fitting our wedding in with others plans.

I do like the idea of just doing it and not telling anyone but the guilt over the kids (and my parents - who would not mind but I would like them there) is difficult. I also have a lot of close friends I would like to celebrate with afterwards.


lessthanBeau Fri 08-Apr-16 18:39:23

We just got back from our wedding in Vegas, just dh and me, however we are having a wedding party in a couple of weeks for family and friends.
Saved loads of hassle, I didn't want the whole wedding thing, just wanted to get married. It's your day do what you want!

Cutecat78 Fri 08-Apr-16 18:49:52

Do you have kids lessthanbeau?

Viewofhedges Fri 08-Apr-16 19:01:25

Tiny weddings are great. Your day, do what's best for you.

Registry office followed by pub for a meal with close family and friends was what my dad did and it was one of the best weddings I've ever been to (apart from my own of course!). So relaxed and happy.

Cutecat78 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:06:57

I am a bit worried about the logistics of getting relatives to schlep over here from abroad for a quickie do and fish and chips in the pub afterwards I guess.

cocochanel21 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:21:05

DH and I went abroad with our DCs. It was more of a holiday than a honeymoon grin. We had a party for the relatives when we returned home after telling everyone we were actually married.

ivykaty44 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:22:22

Just do it and have a fish and chip supper or a posh nosh dinner afters...

Then have a garden party in the summer

ivykaty44 Fri 08-Apr-16 19:24:39

If you start telling people that when logistics start to get in the way, wait till afters and th en invt everonevto the party and let them know you got married. TS up to them wether thy can getbto the party

DryShampoo Fri 08-Apr-16 20:06:25

Eloping implies rushing off somewhere in secret, rather than quietly going down to the local registry office! I know it now sometimes seems to be used to mean the latter, but the word actually means to abscond or run away!

OP, we didn't tell anyone and just got married by ourselves and went for lunch. It was an incredibly busy time for both of us, and (by accident, rather than design) we didn't actually tell any family members for a year or so afterwards - by which time it was far too late to start being wounded.

I would do exactly what you want.

Birdsgottafly Fri 08-Apr-16 20:10:39

Only you and your DP know your children and how much not being at the Wedding, might upset them.

There's no-one else to consider, really.

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