To not be disciplining my daughter at 14 months??

(36 Posts)
ExpressTrainComingThrough Thu 07-Apr-16 11:18:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanith Thu 07-Apr-16 11:29:05

Bless you smile

That is disciplining your child!

ExpressTrainComingThrough Thu 07-Apr-16 11:34:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN Thu 07-Apr-16 11:35:28

I think under 3 there is no need for "proper" discipline as they don't understand it.

I would have said no we don't throw food and then taken it away if she carried on.

It's what I do with my 13 month old

KilburnOriginal Thu 07-Apr-16 11:36:26

At that age I found distraction worked best, if he was for example about to plant his sticky mitt on the TV screen then I'd distract him with something else. Then when they get older and can understand more',enforce more rules, possibly time outs etc...

I love the phrase "wouldn't stand for that behaviour" - kids have a will of their own they aren't robots, its for us to teach them boundaries - however sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Parenting is not cut and dried!

Keep going as you are, she'll be fine....

NeedACleverNN Thu 07-Apr-16 11:37:15

Same to if she was emptying out the kitchen cupboards

"No Dd, we don't throw things out the cupboards". If the carried on, remove her from the situation. So taking her out of the kitchen

MrsKCastle Thu 07-Apr-16 11:40:23

You're doing exactly the right things and her behaviour is absolutely normal for her age. With the food, I'd say 'no' and then remove it after a couple of times. IME once they get to the throwing stage it means they've had all they want to eat.

With cupboards etc, yes, perfectly normal boundary testing. Say 'no' and distract, or move her away

lornathewizzard Thu 07-Apr-16 11:42:17

Yep, lots of no and removing things/DD around here too. I sometimes have a bit of a shouty day but that only raises my blood pressure and is usually because I'm tired.

JapaneseSlipper Thu 07-Apr-16 11:43:20

I get what you are saying but I would say that if your daughter is throwing food, she has had enough. That is her way of communicating that to you. Listen to her.

If she feels heard and understood by you, it helps. If you carry on trying to force food into her that she clearly doesn't want, then yes, she will act up.

Sirzy Thu 07-Apr-16 11:43:33

Problem is those things can soon become a game, so if sh doesn't listen to no about throwing the food I would remove the food. She obviously doesn't want to eat it so no need for it to be there.

Same with playing in cupboards you don't want her to, say no but remove her and try to distract with something more fun.

ExpressTrainComingThrough Thu 07-Apr-16 11:43:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanith Thu 07-Apr-16 11:43:51

Distraction is by far the best at this age.

No discipline would be ignoring her completely and letting her do as she likes. Clearly you are not doing that!
She'll get it, don't worry.

I think you're confusing consequences with punishment. A consequence is removing her, saying "No" etc. Same with discipline - it has such negative associations, but it can be positive, too.

Lweji Thu 07-Apr-16 11:46:29

"ooh, I wouldn't stand for that behaviour. That needs nipped in the bud"

That's easy to say. What do they suggest???

With the food, she's telling you she's had enough. Just remove the food and the play. Also give less to start with and give more if she asks.

Distraction is also great for those ages.

ExpressTrainComingThrough Thu 07-Apr-16 11:49:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanith Thu 07-Apr-16 11:50:45

We always knew my son had had enough because he would look around for the cat (who would wait by the highchair for any stray scraps).
If we weren't quick enough, my son would drop the food on the cat's head - bowl and all shock

NeedACleverNN Thu 07-Apr-16 11:50:59

Giving things back to stop tantrumming is an easy option but it then leads to "I have a tantrum=get what I want" though at 3am I think most people would do what they need to get some sleep.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Thu 07-Apr-16 11:54:42

My DS is the same, face of an angel, but my God is he strong willed.

I do the same as you, say no and try and distract. The only "discipline" used is if he hits me with a toy on purpose, the toy gets taken until he's calmed down.

I'm not sure how else you deal with it at this age apart from distraction confused... they're not really going to understand a long winded lecture on table manners are they? Sounds to me like you're doing the right thing so just go with your instinct smile

IceBeing Thu 07-Apr-16 12:01:14

sometimes a good tantrum is exactly what a child needs in order to settle and get some sleep. Get out all the pent up frustrations of the day have a good screaming wail for a bit then calm right down and off to sleep.

We found our DD was far happier and easier to settle if she had a good proper scream for a bit than if we intervened and tried to cheer her up.

TBH I think I would feel better most evenings if I had spent 10 mins screaming rage at the sky....

peggyundercrackers Thu 07-Apr-16 12:04:30

your absolutely right to say no and take things away. as others have said distraction is a good way of diverting their attention to something else. I wouldn't be giving anything back to them if they had a tantrum - I think that just learns them to shot and they get what they want.

Lweji Thu 07-Apr-16 12:11:56

sometimes a good tantrum is exactly what a child needs in order to settle and get some sleep.

Or a really good laugh. When they are grizzling, a laughing out loud session followed by a short relaxing period is a good trick.

I did it once to DS for a nap under the disapproving looks of my parents. He fell asleep like a stone, whereas before he was cranky and wouldn't fall asleep.

ExpressTrainComingThrough Thu 07-Apr-16 12:31:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 Thu 07-Apr-16 12:35:31

She's a baby! She doesn't have the first notion of consequences and discipline, you might as well try and teach a puppy to play piano as discipline a baby of just turned one year.

curren Thu 07-Apr-16 12:36:23

I think it's sounds fine. Kids that age don't need naughty steps etc.

Personally if she is throwing food and you say 'no' and she does it. I would remove the food. I don't see the point in saying no and then letting it continue. The 'no' has no meaning. I don't think she is too young for that.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 07-Apr-16 12:52:22

You're doing fine 😊 So is your DH, he sounds lovely & like he's a good Dad 😊

As you've said you will, just be a bit more positive in your responses when you say no. Remove the problem and don't give it back, not even at 3 am. I get that it's 3am & you'll do anything for a bit of sleep, but consider a short term tantrum now as your investment in the future! If they learn having a tantrum gets them what they want it's hell. If they learn it gets them nowhere they'll stop doing it. mostly

You really don't 'spoil' a child by buying them stuff, then can just be lucky or fortunate that you can. You can 'spoil' a child by letting them develop a horrible attitude to their things or to always gettng what they want/demand. You also need to be aware of what habits you are getting into and how this will affect her as she gets bigger. Don't always 'treat/reward' with food. Don't always buy a toy when you're out. It's things like that that they come to expect, naturally as it's always happened, that are harder to stop as they get older and things get much more expensive.

Mostly, just enjoy having a lovely DH and a delightful wee girl and don't stress, it all goes far, far too quickly 💐

Gardencentregroupie Thu 07-Apr-16 12:58:11

I think it was on mumsnet that I read someone say about tantrums 'if you're going to give in, give in fast'

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