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AIBU for confronting a stranger criticising my appearance?

(196 Posts)
MarbleFox Mon 04-Apr-16 22:23:19

I left work late today, missing the bus I normally catch by a couple of minutes. This meant waiting half an hour for the next one. At the bus stop there were two women, roughly my age(20) and as I approached I heard one say to the other, "Oh my God, look at the state of her hair". My hairs currently a silver/lilac shade, it's been bright purple, blue and pink so I'm used to getting the occasional comment and stare. I shrugged the comment off as I normally do but for the next 25 minutes as I waited for the bus the comments continued. Criticising my hair, clothes and general appearance while sniggering while I'm obviously in earshot. I eventually snapped and said, "Sorry but what's the problem?" Neither replied so I said, "You really shouldn't mutter horrible things about people you don't know", to which one said she wasn't talking about me. She definitely was.

I know it's daft to let this bother me and I know they were out of order but should I have ignored them? Or was responding the right thing to do? I'm normally very shy and meek so this was out of character for me.

Postitblue Mon 04-Apr-16 22:24:33

Well done you. You are braver than me - what twats. 💪🏼

ThirtyNineWeeks Mon 04-Apr-16 22:24:42

What clothes were you wearing?

MarbleFox Mon 04-Apr-16 22:24:45

Sorry about the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes! It's my bloody phone angry

StillStayingClassySanDiego Mon 04-Apr-16 22:25:48

Good for you, I bet they couldn't believe it when you stood up for yourself.

MarbleFox Mon 04-Apr-16 22:26:03

I was wearing smart, black trousers with a grey and white jumper. A very plain outfit which is normally what I wear for work.

LionsLedge Mon 04-Apr-16 22:26:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mango5000 Mon 04-Apr-16 22:26:46

Good on you! You definitely did the right thing. What immature cows

FadedRed Mon 04-Apr-16 22:27:01

Well one you! Maybe they'll think twice before doing it again to someone else.
(Your hair sounds lovely, wish I was brave enough to do similar.) star

WorraLiberty Mon 04-Apr-16 22:27:13

I suppose it depends on the area really.

Some people do that sort of thing because they want a fight, so reacting would have given them a 'reason' to punch you.

On the other hand, I don't think I would have sat there listening to their crap without saying something either.

lilydaisyrose Mon 04-Apr-16 22:30:35

Brilliant - well done you. They sound mean, bitchy and possibly jealous.

I would never normally confront but did a couple of years ago when in a big kids park, these young women (in their twenties) were having a loud sweary - every second word the f-word - conversation. I asked them if they could mind their language as we were in a children's playparj. They weren't happy - were mortified I think, but they did it!

SistersOfPercy Mon 04-Apr-16 22:33:00

Not sure why it matters what she was wearing thirty nine. Nobody should be judged on appearance.
Well done marble. Don't ever let closed minded people prevent you from being yourself.

mineofuselessinformation Mon 04-Apr-16 22:33:15

I had this when a woman was muttering on in Spanish that I had pushed in front of her in a queue - I hadn't. She was most indignant that I had understood enough to know she was being rude about me!
As I am fond of saying (to young people) thoughts are private until they come out of your mouth - then they're public property....

MarbleFox Mon 04-Apr-16 22:34:16

Thanks for the reassurance! I've always been shy, meek and a bit of a doormat if I'm completely honest. I've been getting a lot advice on here about how to be confident and stick up for myself when the occasion demands it. So I have MM to thank for my sudden surge of bravery grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget Mon 04-Apr-16 22:38:24

I do mutter in my own head "Fucking state of THAT " but not out loud.

I sometimes wonder if people actually have mirrors but my seared eyeball rolling is saved for the ones who insist in displaying their behemoth hindquarters/cameltoes and undercrackers in see through leggings.

Ladies of Essex. Want to wear leggings? Wear a long top (or like my DD, shorts on top)
Want to bend over to pick something up? Cover yer gussett.

Hair - meh . Doesn't register.

ThirtyNineWeeks Mon 04-Apr-16 22:39:05

I don't see how your outfit could possibly invite derision. When I see someone dressed like an attention-seeking cock, I am secretly judging them Big Time. And no, I don't care.

PigletJohn Mon 04-Apr-16 22:59:04

Many Essex Women are very nice.

Tywinlannister Mon 04-Apr-16 23:04:33

YANBU. True, in certain areas you do have to be careful about answering back but the trick I use is to come across as crazier and more volatile than the person who started it. My best friend is still amazed that I haven't been punched (I have never been in a fight in my life!)

Well done you!

PastaLaFeasta Mon 04-Apr-16 23:12:55

Well done, maybe they will learn from it and you've saved another woman from their nasty comments. Your hair sounds fab, I'm too scared to dye my hair exciting colours, I may save it for when I'm greying and care less.

ClopySow Mon 04-Apr-16 23:15:06

I see Detective Insector Leggings is on duty.

Nobodyspecialanymore Mon 04-Apr-16 23:16:25

Your hair sounds lovely.
But...I would say acknowledging those horrible women sounds like a lot of stress, and possibly putting yourself in danger, confronting strangers. I personally wouldn't give their comments headspace. What they think of say is meaningless.
I used to be a very angry person, and in recent years have decided it's not worth it..

ClopySow Mon 04-Apr-16 23:16:39

Inspector. Or cuntstable.

PerspicaciaTick Mon 04-Apr-16 23:19:14

70isaLimit - how very strange. Do you find it takes a lot of effort to spot enough genitally-exposed women to get a good look?

GreatFuckability Mon 04-Apr-16 23:22:36

How does one dress like 'an attention-seeking cock'?
Personally I don't give shit who wears what as long as they aren't naked.
Good for you OP!

DirtyHarrietOnABike Mon 04-Apr-16 23:22:41

I wouldn't talk about anyone within earshot, but if I saw someone with strange hair like that far away in the street, I would comment to my friend. Your hair sounds weird. And you know it - don't you?

If you are so shy and hate it when people look at you/discuss you - well, stop attracting their attention, for God's sake! Be with normal hair!

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