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Aibu to have handed my dd over to my dh and refused to deal with things for a while

(209 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 19:54:53

I have posted God knows how many posts on here about my youngest Dd (5 months) I just can't deal with it anymore, she is such incredibly hard work she screams for hours on end she comes out in random rashes, she has excema she, is terrible to feed, she wakes regularly at night. She has been in hospital twice already with chest infections, she is constantly snotty and dribbling to the extreme and has been since birth. She scratches herself constanly if you allow her access to her body - she has a bleeding cut on her leg which she did with her own finger despite me cutting her nails down as far as I physically can.

She cuts herself and bleeds so easily - today she had a bleeding cut on her chin which she got from a rusk ffs.

She has non blanching spots which I'm told are petichae but no one is told me why she gets these on her legs.

I have asked our go about these issues but because I have pnd (which frankly isn't surprising) he just asks me how I am sleeping etc.

This is not my first rodeo - she is my 6th child but I just can't take it anymore she screamed for hours on end today. today I have told him that I need him to do something . He works long hours, I know that I am probably asking the impossible but I am too tired to care.

I blurted it all out to him, showed him photos of our day which were various rashes, screaming and cuts and he has said he is calling the gp tomorrow to find out wtf is going on and tell them it's pretty much not in my head which is what I'm sure they believe it is.

He has sat her with me while she screamed for hours solid he knows that she is to say the least difficult.

Was I being unreasonable . I have literally left him holding the baby, he is going to have to take time off work to go to he gp for something that is potentially on my head.

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 19:56:28

Btw I am just sitting on our bed trying to calm down now I already take medication for both depression and to slow my heart rate since it has been consistently so high the last few months which o am told is stress!

PerpendicularVincent Mon 04-Apr-16 19:58:53

YANBU to ask for help, you sound exhausted and stressed. I don't have any practical advice but you are looking after your DD as best you can, and things will improve.

Taking her back to the doctor is a good idea. Do you have family or friends that could help? flowers

CruCru Mon 04-Apr-16 20:00:16

Sounds as though you are having a very hard time. Re the bleeding thing - I wonder whether that is significant? I have the number of a paediatrician in North West London if that would help?

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:02:41

Thanks perpendicular - I don't feel like I'm taking good care of her at all because she is constantly upset or sore.

Crucu- I don't know she has red hair and very fair skin which I know from experience of my other kids is slightly more delicate that normal but throw is ridiculous. I live in he north but thanks!

honeysucklejasmine Mon 04-Apr-16 20:03:17

Sweetheart, you can't take pictures of things in your head, so stop that now. These problems are real and it's OK to feel overwhelmed. I am so glad your DH seems the proactive sort. Fingers crossed it can start to level out soon.

OhForTheLoveOfGin Mon 04-Apr-16 20:04:36

YANBU at all, YA being very sensible by the sound of it flowers

Hope you get some rest and your DP has success with the GP tomorrow. Looks like an entirely appropriate course of action

hearthattack Mon 04-Apr-16 20:05:36

You are definately not being undreasonable to hand responsibility over to you DP for a while. It sounds like that's what you need, and that's fine. She's his DD too.

You are having a tough time but it will change. Hang in there. The world needs mums like you.

saggyboobs1 Mon 04-Apr-16 20:05:37

Sothis I think you are exhausted and it is ok to ask your DP to take time off to help you out. I am glad he is supportive. Take all the help you can. flowers

canyou Mon 04-Apr-16 20:06:16

flowers What a terrible situation and unfair on all of you. Has DD been refered on by the gp to a consultant for allergies or excema? It is good that your DH is stepping in to back you up. Try rest now for a little while she is safe with her Dad

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:09:14

Thanks everyone . I do feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed.

We have never seen anyone apart from in hospital for the chest infections when she had iv antibiotics etc. They had a fit about the non blanching spots at first bit lost interest when it became clear she didn't have meningitis and just told us to see our gp if she kept getting them.

MrsJayy Mon 04-Apr-16 20:10:03

You poor bugger and your poor baby it just sounds so hellish yanbu to give yourelf a breather can you call out of hours tonight for the baby

Lalalili Mon 04-Apr-16 20:10:28

Oh goodness, you sound totally reasonable to me. No wonder you're exhausted. DH taking the baby back to the doctor is a very good idea. It really sounds like there is something the GP is missing from your description of her rashes, cuts etc.

KP86 Mon 04-Apr-16 20:10:35

I was also going to ask if she has been tested for allergies, particularly dairy? Sounds identical to issues my niece had.

I'm sorry you are struggling, of course it's ok to handover to your DH when you need a break. I'm very glad that he is supporting you. Ask for a different GP if yours won't do anything. That's shit.

All the best.

QuiteLikely5 Mon 04-Apr-16 20:11:25

Can you take her to a cranial osteopath?

It's a long shot but anything is worth a try!

Is her screaming due to milk, are you on a completely broken down one such as nutramigen? (Sic)

Are you washing her clothes in just water? Perhaps that might help

MrsJayy Mon 04-Apr-16 20:11:51

It sounds to me (not a dr) like an allergy of somesorts

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:14:39

I have wondered about allergies - she was breastfed for the first 6 weeks by had the exact same issues after that she was on formula (Sma).

Quite - I'm not quite sure what a cranial osteopath is blush. I just give her sma tbh I have breastfed before but the only reason I had to stop with her is because I was ill with pneumonia in hospital and lost my supply totally. I don't know much about different milksblush

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:15:24

All my other children were pretty straight forward so this is a shock to me!

QuiteLikely5 Mon 04-Apr-16 20:15:29

Could you put some sort of lotion on her to soothe her skin? Maybe someone on here has been through similar........and know something you could try

MrsJayy Mon 04-Apr-16 20:17:51

Take her to be seen she sounds in discimfort and not just usual baby grizzley you have had 5 babies you will know she isnt right

NeedACleverNN Mon 04-Apr-16 20:19:13

The biggest sign I had my son was cows milk protein allergic was constant screaming. It was an agonising scream not a normal crying scream

He had a rash come up on him and eczema like rash on his face

He never slept for longer than an hour. We was up constantly trying to get him settled

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:19:25

Dh is taking these photos I took today to show the gp the rashes come and go so quickly (apart front the back of her neck) it's hard to tell them!

Sothisishowitfeels Mon 04-Apr-16 20:20:47

Should add she is normally beautiful like this grin

BarbarianMum Mon 04-Apr-16 20:21:53

{flowers} I am so, so sorry you are going through this.

Your dd sounds a lot like me as a baby. I suggest you strongly consider the possibility of food allergies and don't let them fob you off until this has thoroughly been investigated.

I was allergic to cows milk protein and fish as a child. Wasn't diagnosed until age 10. That was 10 years of ezcema, hives and repeated admissions to hospital with bronchitis (undiagnosed asthmatic, also in relation to food allergies).

QuiteLikely5 Mon 04-Apr-16 20:22:11

Please go to the GP and ask for a script for the correct milk, not sure if you can go to buy it over the counter from chemist now but I would change the milk tonight if I was you!

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