Hen do after the wedding

[SouthernComforter]

I'm going to the wedding of an old schoolfriend later this year. I'm looking forward to what promises to be a lovely do - except that they've already done the legal bit, and the hen do isn't until next month. I'm a SAHM and we don't have a lot of spare cash, but does it seem a bit strange to spend €100+ on a hen do when they're already legally married or should I just enjoy a night out nevermind when it is? I won't know a lot of people there but I could definitely do with a night out (albeit a slightly cheaper one).

[hellsbellsmelons]

This is entirely up to you.
If you cannot afford to attend the hen do then don't.
Just explain you can't afford it.
Are they having a meal and then drinks?
If so, could you join them after the meal for a few drinks?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

That sounds daft, especially if it's being called a hen do.

If you're up for a night out with your friend but don't know (m)any of the others, why not say you can't make it but would love to have a dinner/drinks just the two of you/anyone else you both know well. That way it'll cost less and you'll get to talk to her properly, rather than a load of strangers who you'll never see again.

[RuggerHug]

It's up to you, however one of my best friends eloped and afterwards her DHs organised a night out as his 'sort of' stag. We used it as a reason for a combination 30th+hen weekend away for her. Good time had by all and she was in no way demanding / pushy about people coming.

[RuggerHug]

That should say 'DHs mates'.

[BackforGood]

If you want to go on a girls' night out, and meet up with other folk, let your hair down a bit, then go.
If you don't want to, then don't.
Doesn't really matter if your friend is married or not, IMO - she's decided to get a load of her girlfriends together for a night out and has invited you.
100 euros for a night out would be beyond me, so I'd probably say no, but if your budget dictates that you can justify spending that on one night out, and you like the people who are going, then just go.

[minipie]

Was going to post but BackforGood has said it exactly.

[Tiggeryoubastard]

If they've done the legal bit then you're not going to the wedding.

[MrsNuckyT]

Say no or yes on the basis of whether you can afford it or not, don't make up an excuse based on the timings.

Lots of people for various reasons will do the civil bit first, then have the big 'wedding' later in the year. On that basis, their timing seems fine to me, so don't use that as a reason not to go.