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To be sad about quitting

(14 Posts)
cleopatraseyebrows Sun 03-Apr-16 16:33:29

I'm about to quit my job for one that pays a lot less.
It's still full time, but will give me guaranteed weekends and bank holidays off, the option of a shorter working year, compressed hours (down the line) and a certainty that I'll be out the door on time every day.
I'm happy to be getting this opportunity to spend more time with my kids and we can afford for me to take the pay cut.
But I'm a bit sad that I'm effectively chucking in a 15 year career in which I worked my arse off and put in crazy hours to maintain. I always knew it wouldn't be sustainable in the long term, even before I had children.

I'm sure it's normal to feel confused about it?

Vintage45 Sun 03-Apr-16 16:35:10

Of course it is. But give it a few months and you'll sigh with relief.

Coldtoeswarmheart Sun 03-Apr-16 16:35:20

Yes, it's normal. I once took a pay cut for a career change and I recognise the feeling. flowers

cleopatraseyebrows Sun 03-Apr-16 16:37:05

coldtoeswarmheart were you ultimately glad you did that?

shitwithsugaron Sun 03-Apr-16 16:41:57

My DH has not long done this. Yes it's a drop in pay but you live within your means. And I can only speak from the DW point of view rather than his but he seems happier, not so tired, he's able to do more around the house instead of coming home and falling asleep on the couch, he gets his rota a long time in advance (shift work) instead of 5 days in advance...there are many plus points.

But most importantly (for all of us for different reasons) he's seeing a lot more of our DD who is 5 months old and therefore reaching certain milestones all the time.

When we've spoken about the decision to change jobs, this alone for DH makes it all worth it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 03-Apr-16 16:43:55

Do you HAVE to do that, cleo? Could your husband step in a bit for some of the things that you would be doing if you did give up your career for a smaller one?

Sorry - I realise that you wouldn't have posted lightly but, given that you are sad about it and not clapping your hands in delight, I had to ask.

I personally think that no woman should give up her means to make a living and that any partners should help pick up slack where there is any need for it to be picked up.

Muskateersmummy Sun 03-Apr-16 16:48:42

cleopatra I could have written your post. I have quit my job for a less well paid but more regular hours job. Whilst I feel a huge relief at being able to focus on my family and happier in the knowledge that I am now on hand for all the important school runs/plays/parents evening stuff, I still feel a little sad at leaving a career I worked hard to establish, and nervous about adjusting to the new budget. I'm sure we will both be feeling much happier in a few months time once we have settled into our new roles flowers and cheers to the new chapter wine

cleopatraseyebrows Sun 03-Apr-16 17:21:21

LyingWitch without going into too much detail, DH is also in an industry that requires erratic working hours/weekends/possibility of doing some work every day.
He also earns twice what I do in the 'better' paid job I'm about to quit. And his potential for promotion is far better than mine, given his expertise.
I'm all for both partners mucking in but logically, if we want him to pursue his career (which he loves more than I do) and bring home the bacon, it is me who winds down the long hours and weird working pattern.
I wouldn't be destitute on the new salary if he upped and left us. There's no way I would quit working completely.
But I understand why you asked. flowers

muskateers onwards and upwards eh?

Muskateersmummy Sun 03-Apr-16 17:24:53

Absolutely .... Plus it's never a one way street. So long as you haven't burnt your bridges you can always return to the old line of work if circumstances change. It'll be worth it I'm sure

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 03-Apr-16 17:36:15

Thanks for your post, cleo, I'm really happy for you. It sounds as if this change - whilst a bit of a shock to your system - is going to be a really positive move for your family. Very best wishes to you. thanks

HPsauciness Sun 03-Apr-16 17:40:25

cleo can he take a turn for a few years, then you?

I just see this argument so much on MN- his job pays more (often the case if the man is older in the relationship), he has more prospects for promotion etc. All this may be true, but if you disinvest in your career now, the differential will only grow and grow til eventually, yours is the 'pin money' extra job and you are doing all the household chores, and he's the big I am. It is then 1000x harder to get back into a satisfying career job.

If you genuinely don't mind taking a step back, or relish the opportunity for more time with the children, then it's a good solution. If you do want to work your old job but effectively his job has driven you out of that, I don't think it's so great to be honest.

cleopatraseyebrows Sun 03-Apr-16 17:40:30

flowers to all. Now let's hope my boss doesn't make a scene when I give my resignation!

CosyNook Sun 03-Apr-16 17:46:45

Before handing in your notice, can you ask for a review of your hours? If your company values you, then perhaps they will be more flexible. You then have the option to increase your hours once DC is older. Also remember you will be giving up maternity pay for 2 years (?)

Coldtoeswarmheart Sun 03-Apr-16 18:52:23

Yes I am glad I did it, OP.

10 years later now, my earnings are more than would have been possible in my old position so the pay thing wasn't an issue forever. But more to the point I took a whole new career path which simply suits me better as a person.

I am actually contemplating doing it again in the next few years so I can be at home more. For the right opportunity I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Once I can pay the bills, I don't find the money particularly motivating on its own, IYSWIM.

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