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To ask how you "find yourself again" after motherhood

(5 Posts)
Moomoomango Sun 03-Apr-16 15:20:07

I am a mum to children 4 and 1 and carer to my disabled husband- who is capable of some things but all cooking, cleaning, laundry etc has to be done by me. After almost 5 years of doing stuff for my family I feel like I've lost me. I'm sure this is something many of you can relate to?! I think about going to get my eye brows waxed or getting my hair cut etc but I kind of feel like these are just surface fixes. How do you / did you make sure you put yourself high on the priority list as a mum? What do you do to make sure you are happy. Or is this just a myth? Do we get lost in motherhood forever?

Haggisfish Sun 03-Apr-16 15:21:49

I found hobbies I really enjoy and do them, come hell or high water. Sailing, writing and sewing.

MinecraftyMum Sun 03-Apr-16 15:24:13

Do we get lost in motherhood forever?

Yes. In my honest opinion - although i'm sure many will disagree.

Trying to 'find yourself' post motherhood implies you lost yourself in the first place - which you didn't. You just changed. Your activities, your priorities, your interests and topics of conversation (to an extent), your whole life, all change as soon as you're a parent. You can't change that back to how it used to be - your life is different. Inevitably.

Having more time for you is a different issue IMO.

Vintage45 Sun 03-Apr-16 15:26:29

You have got a lot on your plate!

Have one day and one evening a week to do what you want. I found friends and wine saved me smile

mrsmeerkat Sun 03-Apr-16 15:30:29

That's a tough workload moo.

I had two small dc and no family support but good support from dh. We look after the dc around each others shifts so it is busy but doable.

I think I am going to wake earlier and go for a swim or gym before work as it is the only way I can get time for myself.

I bring dc to hair appointments midweek as it is quiet after work and she doesn't mind (she operates from her own home).

She also does make up an of eyelashes and shellac so I treat myself from time to time.

I have got back into reading again once dc in bed. I upcycle a little if I get time on Sundays or whatever.

Can you get a couple of service washes a week. Would money allow?

You are being so good to everyone but you need to look after your own needs now too.

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