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Wedding poem and how much to give

(7 Posts)
WeddingGift Sun 03-Apr-16 08:25:26

So I've received a wedding invitation with this poem;
We've lived together quite a while
With all our pots and pans
And as we don't need homely gifts
We've got another plan.
We know its not traditional
And not the way it's done
But rather than a wedding list
We'd love a bit of sun.
So if you'd like to give a gift
And send us on our way
A Thomas Cook Voucher
Would really make our day!
But the choice is really up to you and we would like to say
That the best gift we could receive is you here on our special day!

I don't know how much to give! I also hate being asked for money as I feel it's like putting a value on the friendship to some people. I would describe the friend as a good friend and we've known each other a year. I would much prefer to give a gift but feel this may be bad etiquette? I've only been to one wedding and they had a gift list.
For context my dp earns around 25k and I earn minimum wage whilst looking after our 1yo. We are in the process of buying our own home so not loads of spare cash.
Thanks!

Lighteningirll Sun 03-Apr-16 08:28:48

I give far less cash than I would present I hate it. Present would be around £50 for friends cash/vouchers £25. There's no pleasure in giving cash, five years on I still think of people who gifted stuff from my wedding list.

DawnOfTheDoggers Sun 03-Apr-16 08:28:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cakescakescakes Sun 03-Apr-16 08:32:37

I don't understand why people find this so offensive? I wouldn't mind at all. I'd rather give towards a holiday than but something for their house which they already had.

Throwingshadeagain Sun 03-Apr-16 08:36:51

I don't find it offensive either cakes. It's the same as a wedding gift list (and everyone can see the prices there anyway). I actually like my friends and family so am happy to give vouchers or money if that's what they want! Otherwise the couple get dozens of photo frames and toasters then everyone's wasted their money anyway as they'll give them away or sell 'em.

Depends on your personal finances OP. In our friendship groups we give between £50-100, but if anyone's been on their uppers no-one would turn a hair at £30 if that's all you can manage, you're right if they are real friends they won't value your friendship on how much money you'll give.

MattDillonsPants Sun 03-Apr-16 08:50:01

I've known you two for many a year
Your poem was so nice,
But while your request for cash is a common one
I for one thought twice.

I'd love to buy you a toaster or wine,
Of that there is no doubt,
So this time your request for cash,
Will result in a big fat nowt.

If my toaster or wine you scorn,
Then my wrath you soon may face
I'm not a fecking bank you know
And you're not charity case.

WeddingGift Sun 03-Apr-16 20:00:02

Sorry everyone I've posted this twice by mistake!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2605946-Wedding-poem-and-how-much-to-give?watched=1&msgid=60250459#60250459

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