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AIBU?

to be irritated by this?

20 replies

winkywinkola · 01/04/2016 14:19

Lodger has only been able to pay half rent this month on the date it's due. The rest will come later in "few weeks" when her student loan comes through.

I'm annoyed because I obviously need the money to make some payments and she has just had a week in Tenerife, shops at Waitrose etc.

I couldn't care less where she shops or holidays but if it means she can't pay the rent on time, the agreed date, then I will hoik up my judgement pants and be annoyed.

H had the conversation with her and okay'd it. "A few weeks" is a bit vague for my liking.

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MartinaJ · 01/04/2016 14:20

give her a week and tell her this was the last time this happened. If she ever does it again, she has to go.

voluptuagoodshag · 01/04/2016 14:22

Hmmmm, 'a few weeks' is longer than a month in my book and I assume you charge rent monthly. Call me old fashioned but you pay for the roof over your head first. You are basically paying for her holiday. I'd be mightily pissed off and have a word with her. Give her a deadline and tell her exactly that

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/04/2016 14:23

That's not on, her rent should be her priority payment, she's mucked up this one.

I'd pin her down to a specific date and make it clear it's not to happen again.

CosyNook · 01/04/2016 14:24

You need to confirm a date by which the money will be paid.

Do you have a contract with her?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/04/2016 14:24

Is she due to be paid April 11th.

Ds1's loan is due then, he too is skint, it's going to be a long 10 days.

Lj8893 · 01/04/2016 14:26

I got my student loan today......just saying. I would ask her for proof of when her student loan comes in and make it very clear you expect to be paid on that date and no later. And that this is to never happen again.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/04/2016 14:30

Way too vague, what was your husband thinking when he said OK ? OK, she probably caught him by surprise, not paying the rent due would have been unexpected, and he brain-froze. I think you need to go in and correct the situation, or you may well never see this money. Go to her, explain that your husband has told you she has not paid the rent, state firmly that the rent is due and she has ONE WEEK to pay it, no more. Otherwise, you may find your lodger regards paying her rent as optional. She knew it was due and she CHOSE not to keep the money ready for it.

Patapouf · 01/04/2016 16:05

Next student loan installment at my uni is the end of April!

MrsMainwaring · 01/04/2016 16:11

I too think you need to have a conversation with her . The whole point of having a lodger is to get regular money
Is it her first time renting ?

TheWitTank · 01/04/2016 16:23

YANBU. Rent should be a priority bill. Like PP, I would also give her a week to pay the balance and firmly spell out that this is a one time only arrangement and any further late payments will result in notice being given. You have bills to pay too.

pilates · 01/04/2016 16:25

YANBU
Rent is priority and comes before holidays.
Can you not arrange for rent to be paid by DD?

wheresthetea · 01/04/2016 16:43

YANBU

Tell her plainly that 'in a few weeks' is too vague as you have payments to make yourself. I'm sure she wouldn't be pleased if the SLC just said her loan would be paid 'in a few weeks'. She needs to give you a firm date by which she can complete the payment. Otherwise she will make a habit of it!

Also I don't know what kind of student loans they are giving out these days that she can afford a holiday to Tenerife 5 years ago it barely paid for a weekly Asda shop...

BackforGood · 01/04/2016 17:30

In a lot of student accommodation, this is why they have to pay all their rent in 3 installments - so it goes to the rent as soon as the loan arrives, and there's no relying on the student to prioritise.
I would ask to see evidence of what date the loan is coming in, and let her know you expect the money to be transferred on that date (and possibly for the coming months too, if she is struggling to prioritise her budget??)

winkywinkola · 01/04/2016 19:19

I'm just formulating my speech. She's in breach of our contract and I don't like the way she went to h about it. She knows I wouldn't agree to it.

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winkywinkola · 01/04/2016 19:19

Think she's avoiding me.

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winkywinkola · 02/04/2016 18:02

She's said she will pay on 23rd April. I said it looks like she can't afford to live here. She said she hadn't earned as much this month.

When she pays the second half, I will tell her it's never to happen again.

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DoreenLethal · 02/04/2016 18:04

So she can walk out on the 22nd, and will have had three weeks free rent?

Hmm...

incandescentalright · 02/04/2016 18:16

A few thoughts:

has the student loan payment been delayed? if so then I'd cut her some slack. She might well have been living within her means and had the payment delayed for reasons beyond her control.

the holiday in Tenerife is neither here nor there. You don't know who's paying for it (not beyond the bounds of reason that it's a gift from parents) or when it was paid for (eg in earlier times before money troubles reared their head)

your husband has agreed this now. I don't think you can go back on it. I don't think she's in breach of contract as you're husband has agreed to new terms (ie entered into a parallel contract modifying the first one). You need to talk to him about expectations for the future (eg agreeing stuff like this together not unilaterally)

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/04/2016 19:30

I would consider taking security for the loan you are proving her; essentially you are loaning her three weeks rent. And put whatever you hold as security (phone, jewellery, something of definitite and pawnable value) somewhere she can't swipe it from when she does a moonlight flit on the 22nd.

Seriously, I'd encourage her to go into overdraft or take a cash advance on her credit card to pay the rent. Otherwise, I think she'll do a flit.

winkywinkola · 07/04/2016 22:24

Well, if she does a flit, then I will keep her deposit which will more than cover the half month's rent she owes us.

With regards the holiday, I know she paid for it for her boyfriend's birthday.

I'm irritated because I think she knew she wouldn't be able to pay before rent day but chose to only tell us on rent day.

And she keeps going out to the pub/a weekend away/dinner. Of course, she might not be paying for it all herself but I want to ask her, "But I thought you were broke...."

I will see what happens on 23rd April.

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