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AIBU to give work to a creepy sexist?

(21 Posts)
Haffdonga Thu 31-Mar-16 19:33:03

We need a leaky chimney fixing. So far I have phoned 5 local roofing companies for a quote. 2 have said they'd come round to have a look and failed to turn up.1 has come round, had a look and never bothered to email us the quote (that he said he'd send the same day.) 1 has said they can't even come and look to give us a quote for another 2 weeks.

The 5th guy I rang sounded like a traditional elderly 'gentleman' - (called me madam and said he didn't like computers, has a long business history, polite but a bit smarmy) but he sounded like he knew what he was talking about when it came to roofs. He's doing a job round the corner tomorrow and agreed to come early in the morning to look at our job before he starts work there.

I made a very bad joke about getting up early to let him in and making sure I wasn't still wearing my pyjamas. MY MISTAKE. He took this as his cue to go into a long nudge nudge wink wink monologue about how he likes it when laydeez come downstairs wearing as little as possible and not to bother putting any clothes on.

I went completely silent but he didn't get the hint and carried on and on Now don't you worry about getting dressed. That's the best thing about my job when laydeez don't wear anything! You can wear as little as possible phnoooar phnooar! etc

I'm an old fashioned feminist at heart and don't want to employ a sexist dinosaur but I need my chimney fixed that sounds like a euphemism now and he seems like the only roofer in town who wants the job.

WIBU to give him the job, pay him and then tell him that I didn't like his pigging attitude?.

whois Thu 31-Mar-16 19:35:14

Seems like a bit of an over reaction, but hard to tell since I wasn't on the phone call.

Haffdonga Thu 31-Mar-16 19:36:13

which bit is the overreaction?

novemberchild Thu 31-Mar-16 19:36:50

Ewww. I couldn't do it. Or I would make sure 6ft hairy DH answered the door, and make myself scarce.

steff13 Thu 31-Mar-16 19:37:31

Eww, I'd feel too uncomfortable to give him the job.

Sparklingbrook Thu 31-Mar-16 19:37:52

Give him the job but arrange to be out when he comes round. TBF you mentioned the pyjamas first in a jokey way...

MakeItRain Thu 31-Mar-16 19:39:16

No, I wouldn't let him into the house, let alone give him a job.

MistressChalk Thu 31-Mar-16 19:41:59

Some people could brush it off, some couldn't.
It would make me quite uncomfortable personally to have that man in my house but then I have many upsetting experiences of elderly men saying awfully sexist things to me about my appearance and it would upset me if he crossed a line (which I suspect he might if he hasn't already).

Age is no excuse for sleaziness in my book, it's really a personal call but you wouldn't be unreasonable at all to not give him the job.

Haffdonga Thu 31-Mar-16 19:42:37

I won't be uncomfortable/ unsafe at all - apart from anything else my 2 hairy hulking teenage sons lolling around should put him off his stride if he tries the sexy banter.

I'm just torn - wanting my chimney mended vs not wanting to give him my hard earned cash..

Sparklingbrook Thu 31-Mar-16 19:44:06

Will he need to come into the house?

PuntasticUsername Thu 31-Mar-16 19:46:12

From my comfortable position here on the other side of the internet, I'd rather have a broken chimney than have it fixed by someone who thinks that's an appropriate way to talk to a female customer. And I would tell him that.

I appreciate that it may not be such a straightforward decision for you who actually has that broken chimney, though!

Haffdonga Thu 31-Mar-16 19:46:37

Hopefully most of the job will be done from outside but he might need to come in and go up into the attic. I thought I'd need to show him from the inside where the water's coming in.

Floggingmolly Thu 31-Mar-16 19:53:08

I wouldn't. But why did you feel the need to mention you hope you've had time to get dressed before he arrives?!
He probably took it as a green light for a bit of dodgy banter, and Jesus; you started it...

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 31-Mar-16 19:55:11

No I wouldn't like someone like him coming into my house.

I'm married to a Tradesman, he's pleasant and professional but does the job with the minimum of chat unless the customer is a mate.

MrsMainwaring Thu 31-Mar-16 19:55:44

Tbf you started it
But.... I wouldn't let anyone near my house if they made me feel uncomfortable

LeanneBattersby Thu 31-Mar-16 19:59:33

My husband is a tradesman. I'd say 75 per cent of the people he works with are basically sexist, racist and homophobic. Tbh you probably just got one that wasn't afraid to air his prehistoric views. I'd stick with him and ignore his views. Better the devil you know..

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 31-Mar-16 19:59:34

He sounds like a bit of a dick...

But you started it. He probably would never have mentioned your clothing otherwise.. .You said you hoped you were dressed (which is a bit "oohh matron" itself) and he went too far in reassuring you and making jokes about the ladies.

I think, given that your sons would be around, I'd give him the work to get the roof fixed unless he was sexist in person. I'd also be very careful what I said, though.

And yes, everyone should be able to say what they like when they like, but people take their cues from the "safe" topics that the other person has already mentioned.

Haffdonga Thu 31-Mar-16 20:03:43

Agree it was stupid of me to make a pyjama joke. Sometimes my mouth overtakes my brain. I didn't say i was going to be in my see through negligee though. haven't actually got a see through negligee

Sparklingbrook Thu 31-Mar-16 20:06:06

I am imagining the man to look like Sid James in Carry on Up the Chimney. You can be Babs Windsor.

AnUtterIdiot Thu 31-Mar-16 20:13:35

Open the door in the worst pyjamas, scungiest dressing gown and scruffiest slippers imaginable. Have egg down your top and your curlers in under a hairnet. Be dragging on a Lambert & Butler or holding a tiny hairless dog that keeps licking your chin and lips.

AnUtterIdiot Thu 31-Mar-16 20:14:35

The tiny hairless dog should have a gold collar with a heart tag and a pink velour coat.

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