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AIBU?

to ask how you get them to sleep through?!

41 replies

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 09:45

My son, 19.5m old, still often wakes once or twice in the night. He is bottle fed and had a dummy. Often he wakes because he's lost his dummy, or cant find his bottle of milk that is left in his cot. Say out of 7 nights, its often 5+ nights.

I have put 6 dummies in his cot and he still wakes. I have tried water a while back and it seemed to work but then he would wake up in a frenzy and you could hear his tummy rumbling so went back to milk. We have even tried leaving him for a few minutes when we first hear him to see if he resettles but more often than not he doesnt so I have to get up and see to him.

What can I do to help this happen? What am I doing wrong? Any helpful suggestions would be great.

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 31/03/2016 09:50

I'm no expert, but if it were me I'd go cold turkey on the milk. At his age he really doesn't need it overnight, nor water if he drinks before bed. It might stop him waking if there is nothing good to wake up for iyswim. No doubt about it it would be a rough 3 or 4 days til he got used to it but after that I would expect it to be a lot better.

Could be worth a try?

Sounds rough, I totally sympathise!

Annarose2014 · 31/03/2016 09:51

Well I'd be clipping his dummy to him for a start!

We only cracked it this month (at 16 months) by adding a duvet. Worked immediately. Turns out it makes his sleep that bit deeper than gro bag alone. Worth a shot!

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 09:57

Whatthefreakinwhatnow He took really well to the water before, drinking only an oz over night whereas, last night for example, he had a 9oz bottle in with him which was empty this morning so I do think the milk must be a comfort thing.

Annarose I wouldnt clip his dummy to him personally.

We have been adding a duvet to his 1tog sleeping bag and he slept great the first night. Last 2 nights he's slept like shit.

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SunsetSinger · 31/03/2016 10:12

We had our struggles in this department. Honestly my advice would be get rid of the dummy. And stop giving him any milk or water at night. He might be hungry the first night as he is used to it but he will soon start to take more in the day to make up for it. Also, leave him longer to cry.. I swore I would never let DD cry but we were at the end of our tether. 40 mins the first night, with us going in and out but not getting her up or giving her anything. It was a terribly rough for the first 48 hours but by 5 days the problem was solved.

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 10:13

Im stuck in such a hard place. It's driving me fucking nuts having to get up, even if it is only twice for a few minutes but still.

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splendide · 31/03/2016 10:15

We got dramatic improvement after I got him one of those toys that holds dummies. Like this -
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B003P49OEQ/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=569136327&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B001FXDUB2&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_r=1YEWMNXXXN50PRHM4TVS&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

He still gets us up occasionally but never to put his dummy back in now.

SunsetSinger · 31/03/2016 10:16

Yes I know how you feel. And at that time of night the temptation is so strong just to give them what you know will get them back to sleep as quickly as possible. It will be hellish the first couple of nights but so so worth it. Good luck!

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 10:25

Good suggestion about the bunny thing splendide I will give them a look up!

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DrSausagedog · 31/03/2016 11:53

We have a bunny dummy holder and it's great.
Try feeding him up as much as poss during the day, especially afternoon/evening so that you're sure all his nutritional needs are being met during the day.

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 11:55

Just ordered a dummy bunny thing. He eats loads. Lots of snacky bits as well as meals. Im pretty sure he's getting more than he needs!

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arethereanyleftatall · 31/03/2016 11:59

You can get proper holders for dummies to clip to them. Or we tied one to dds rabbit ears.
I would definitely go cold turkey on the milk. It is no good for his teeth, plus it's a bit yucky to drink milk that's been out of the fridge for 12 hours.

ThirtyNineWeeks · 31/03/2016 11:59

Yes, get rid of milk, he doesn't need it. We had to do this when my baby was arriving in two weeks. We had to make DD cry it out but it took only one night!

PenelopeChipShop · 31/03/2016 12:49

Ditto you have to night wean to get them to sleep through... I left it even later than you and regret it now! They get into the habit of thinking its normal to have milk at night, take that away and it won't be long before he doesn't bother waking. It isn't easy though

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 14:20

Gonna have to bite the bullet I think.... coming my way

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Writerwannabe83 · 31/03/2016 14:27

When I night weaned mine I went cold turkey.

The first night it took 50 minutes of seeing to him but not offering milk before he went back to sleep and with every subsequent night that time got less and by night 5 he was sleeping through.

Good luck

AppleSetsSail · 31/03/2016 14:29

Definitely stop the milk. Consider it's probably making his diaper soggy as well.

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 14:29

I really need to do it. I know I do, it's just the thought of screaming and crying. What if he really is hungry and I'm stopping him from drinking. ARGH! :(

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SweepTheHalls · 31/03/2016 14:31

Honestly, I'm in the cold turkey corner, lots of props here and if any wobble then he doesn't sleep. It will be tough, but so worth it.

SweepTheHalls · 31/03/2016 14:32

At this age, he really isn't hungry, he's playing the system IMO! I went cold turkey with my boys at 6 months so you are a much nicer mother than me!

Xmasbaby11 · 31/03/2016 14:34

Dd2 is 26 months and wakes maybe 1-2 times a week demanding milk. She will scream and scream as if she's in pain. Then we relent and give her milk and she falls asleep instantly. Water does not work. Nothing works! We've never left her to cry longer than 5 mins. Never had to with dd1 so it doesn't feel right.

Feeling your pain Op!!!

AppleSetsSail · 31/03/2016 14:36

We moved house in the middle of sleep-training time so we fell into this less than ideal pattern as well. As I said upthread, my biggest issue was the soggy diaper - it had him waking at about 5am. I actually don't think we had much trouble stopping it if I'm recalling correctly, but I think we stopped at about 2.5 - don't wait that long!

Good luck!

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 14:53

I think part of my "guilt" is because he has a Cows Milk Protein Allergy so I am always concerned about his calcium intake as he cannot have cows milk/dairy.

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Twinkie1 · 31/03/2016 15:36

Take the dummy away completely and offer him a couple of ounces of water, if he's drunk it go back in and tuck him in and tell him he's drunk all of his water and then leave. Keep doing this until he settles. Took abut 3 nights with DD.

Primaryteach87 · 31/03/2016 15:41

My lo hasn't had a night feed or water since 6 months. So nothing between 7.30pm and 7.30am.

He doesn't really need anything at 18months. So I would stop all drinks.

We didn't give a dummy so can't comment on that, but would second the advice about a duvet.

I don't go in if lo wakes unless crying full on. He wakes in the night still but doesn't wake me which is the crucial bit! He just turns over and goes back to sleep. Sometimes he has a little chat to himself or 'reads' a book. But overal I don't normally hear a peep for 12 hours.

cjt110 · 31/03/2016 15:48

I think Ill just limit him to water

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