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To not eat at a restaurant

(205 Posts)
YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:07:32

I am starting a meal replacement diet as of Friday but I have a few social occasions lined up. I really have two AIBUs:

1. WIBU to politely decline to eat but drink mineral water and just join in the chat?

2. AIBU to expect friends to support me and not keep telling me I could have this or try that and lecture me about it not being healthy and eat fruit?

Thanks smile

Jaimx86 Wed 30-Mar-16 22:10:18

It's what you eat/drink on your day in day out...year long that makes a difference, not the occasional meal out.

If you want to go and catch up and not have the meal, your friends should accept that though.

Hassled Wed 30-Mar-16 22:11:29

1. YABU. Don't go. People are going to feel uncomfortable and awkward if you're just sat there with a glass of water. Make an excuse - D&V usually works well.
2. YANBU - yes, friends should support you. Although I don't really know what a meal replacement diet is.

Mysteryfla Wed 30-Mar-16 22:12:11

1. No. It makes everyone else uncomfortable seeing you sitting there with a glass of water.

2. They're going to say that because they're uncomfortable.

Hayels Wed 30-Mar-16 22:12:17

1. YANBU, if you don't want to eat that's fine but
2. People are dicks so you will without a doubt get people trying to persuade you to eat, give you lectures, etc. all whilst they snarf down a double cheeseburger and Diet Coke

austounding Wed 30-Mar-16 22:18:19

1. Unless it's a big group where nobody will notice, YABU. Perhaps pick a restaurant where there's something insignificant you can pick at so it's not awkward?

2. YANBU. Though to be fair, YWBU to make a big song and dance out of it. Be discreet and nobody has cause to comment - it's your business and nobody else's anyway smile

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:18:21

Don't go. it's not fair to the restaurant either as they won't be providing a meal for you. You will be making your friends uncomfortable also; does that not occur to you? You expect support from them but you put yourself in a position so as to cause discomfort to them without turning hair? confused

I know about meal replacement, you're not on the 'replacement' part for the duration so why not juggle your shakes/bars around so that you can find something you can eat at the restaurant with your friends.

If you can't do that then just decline - D&V as suggested.

Doilooklikeatourist Wed 30-Mar-16 22:18:56

YABU I don"t think you can go out and just sip water whilst everyone else is eating and socialising . Either don"t go , or just be sensible and don"t eat and drink too much, just be extra careful with food the next few days Yes , your friends should support you

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:19:37

I'm sorry Lying I completely do not understand your second paragraph.

It'll be a long time with 'D & V' I don't think I do make a song and dance about it but other people do.

BarbaraofSeville Wed 30-Mar-16 22:21:27

Can't you just get a salad without dressing or grilled fish and mineral water?

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:21:58

No, I'm not eating any food but i would drink mineral water.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 30-Mar-16 22:22:03

I think it looks rude to go out for dinner and not eat food.

If you want to be polite order dinner and eat the salad leaves. And don't draw attention to the fact you're not eating.

Frankly I'd prefer it if you didn't come. A meal out is a chance to be sociable.

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:22:44

Well yes I agree laurie but i guess I was thinking I could be sociable without eating!

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 30-Mar-16 22:22:49

Are you doing meal replacements all the time, or will you still have a normal meal every day?

If actually eating something isn't possible, I wouldn't go to a restaurant. There will be a lot of temptation, and the restaurant will want you to eat something. You'll also make your friends uncomfortable - it's awkward eating when one person isn't, even if you really like that person. So they'll try to talk you into eating to minimise their discomfort and also include you, and then thats more pressure and temptation on you.

I'd just explain that you're doing meal replacement and you've been advised to give restaurants a miss for a while. They'll plan other things with you which you'll all be more comfortable with.

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:23:28

No just meal replacement. I've no problem being in a restaurant and not eating but I guess other people do!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:23:56

I mean that you're not on shakes and bars for the whole time, for the whole day are you? A simple proper meal alongside the soups/shakes/bars?

I think you will be making a 'song and dance' if you go to a restaurant and not eat. Different if it was a bar but it's not, it's a restaurant. If you wanted to, you could find something on the menu that would work or not detract from your positive efforts.

If it were me, I'd go easy tomorrow in advance of starting the diet on Friday so as to 'bank' something I could eat at the restaurant.

Trills Wed 30-Mar-16 22:24:20

Eating nothing WILL make your friends uncomfortable.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 30-Mar-16 22:24:50

Few cross posts there!

You can't go drink Mineral water in a restaurant. It won't be sociable, it'll be awkward and people will be uncomfortable. You don't want people wishing you hadn't gone!

Join in other social events that don't feature food. If there aren't any, this is a good opportunity to start some - a food based social life will be rather difficult once you start eating normally too.

NeverNic Wed 30-Mar-16 22:24:54

Would you actually have fun? Would you get something out of the engagement or would someone else get something from you being there? If not, don't go.

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:25:04

No I am on shakes and bars all the time I do not have a proper meal, if I did the restaurant thing wouldn't be a problem.

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:25:19

I would yes Nic I like being with my friends

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:25:39

Plus I live on my own so it's going to be a bit lonely!

19lottie82 Wed 30-Mar-16 22:25:47

With Slimfast ect you get to have a meal in the evening, but the Cambridge Diet doesnt allow "proper food" at all.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:26:20

x-posted with you - well perhaps calculate the calories of one or two of the replacement items and order something to that 'value' from the restaurant. It will be good training for you for 'normal life' as there will always be some sort of event going on and you'll have to manage that having regard for others as well as yourself.

YouCouldBreakMe Wed 30-Mar-16 22:26:43

It really does not work like that Lying

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