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AIBU to want my husband to stop doing this???

(127 Posts)
Pennyformythoughts Wed 30-Mar-16 16:24:29

This is something I have put up with for years...my husband regularly masterbates while I'm asleep in bed with him. This is not something that would really bother me too much, but he leaves stains on the bedding and subsequently the mattress. We've recently had a new bed and mattress and I don't want it to get another hideous yellow stain! Yes I have got a mattress protector but it can only do so much. A handful of times his masterbating has woken me in the night.

Most of the time I ignore it, but a few times I have got cross and snapped. He says he does it because sometimes he can't sleep and it's his way of helping him nod off. Like I say, I wouldn't be bothered if not for the stains. I have told him I don't want our new mattress ruining and he said sorry but he still does it. I think it's become a 'thing' with him, he can't sleep therefore his answer is a good tug. I admit a few times I myself have pleasures myself in order to relax enough to drift off.

We do have a decent sex life and we're both adventurous. He is a lovely man in every way and I love him very much. We have been married nearly 10 years. I am pregnant at the moment and really off sex because I've been feeling so sick and ill. He never pesters for sex, he always lets me come to him if I'm feeling randy as he says he is always up for it so just to give him a wink. I feel guilty for us not having had sex for a while and I'm sure he's masterbating every night. What should I do? Should I put up with it? Should I say something? I don't want to be nasty.

ohmywhatamisaying Wed 30-Mar-16 16:30:27

Should you say something? Yes. Ask him to go to the bathroom to do that as he is soiling your mattress with his body fluids.

If you want to meet him half way, get him to buy a mattress cover, but seriously, he's a human being, not a dog in heat who can't control itself.

Failing all of that, get a bucket of cold water handy by the bed.

3littlefrogs Wed 30-Mar-16 16:31:39

I don't think I would feel comfortable with that every night TBH, but, on a purely practical note, could he not take a small towel into bed with him?

I would be fed up if the bedding was getting stained all the time.

wigglebum84 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:34:50

Get him a towel and have 'wank cloth' stitched on it. What a dirty shit he is.

ohmywhatamisaying Wed 30-Mar-16 16:38:20

Get him a towel and have 'wank cloth' stitched on it.

grin

magicstar1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:39:29

So he just cums on the bed and goes to sleep? Yuk! Tell him to use a cloth / sock / tissue or something. He's a dirtbird envy

missbishi Wed 30-Mar-16 16:40:36

Does he not have a box of "mansize" tissues at his disposal? Perhaps a penis beaker to give it a quick rinse?

Seriously though, YAdefinitelyNBU. You'll have enough to do with a new baby, without having to change spunky sheets as well. He should indulge himself elsewhere.

GreyAndGoldInTheMeadow Wed 30-Mar-16 16:41:41

Once I was horrified to be woken to the bed shaking. Not ever having been in the situation before I didn't know whether to leave him to it or say something to go do it somewhere else. Just as the shaking seemed to be reaching its vigours climax I realised it was the dog scratching his ear at the end of the bed! grin

If you don't mind dh doing it OP I'd suggest getting him a separate towel.

RoganJosh Wed 30-Mar-16 16:43:27

We have a waterproof mattress protector on our bed (in case of children weeing or being sick). That would get around the staining issue.

Roseberrry Wed 30-Mar-16 16:44:32

He needs to get himself a wanky hanky asap.

Niknack Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:35

Has he never heard of a "posh wank"?

KeyboardMum Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:58

Oh dear, your poor covers!

You can't really make him stop wanking, but maybe ask him to lay a towel down or get something to catch it?

MrsHathaway Wed 30-Mar-16 16:48:07

I'd say he's absolutely entitled to masturbate as often as he likes since it isn't interfering with his ability/amenability to do the deed with you when you fancy it.

He is not entitled to soil the bed doing so. Filthy bastard. He should have grown out of that kind of behaviour in his teens. He gets a bedside bin and a box of Kleenex.

VocationalGoat Wed 30-Mar-16 16:49:01

I'm sorry gringringrin wank cloth! And the dog scratching his ear! That's the best laugh I've had all day!

OK, I'll be serious now.
Tell him to take it to the shower.

ZenNudist Wed 30-Mar-16 16:49:15

Ok so practical tips include insisting he changes the sheets every time he jizzes on the bed. You can't sleep in jizzy sheets every day that's grim. Extra laundry task might make him more considerate and use a towel, tissue etc.

Then you also need to get waterproof sheets which are sufficient quality that they don't make you sweaty. I have them on the kids' beds and I'm sure you can get double ones. Plus a decent thick mattress topper.

Cabawill Wed 30-Mar-16 16:52:50

I just can't get my head around sleeping on 7 nights worth of jizzy sheets (assuming you change your bedcovers weekly) confused

Theoretician Wed 30-Mar-16 16:53:31

On Amazon you can buy a box of 144 condoms for about £18. That works out at about 12.5p per wank.

ThereIsIron Wed 30-Mar-16 16:54:07

Tell him he needs a wank sock grin

ThereIsIron Wed 30-Mar-16 16:54:15

Tell him he needs a wank sock grin

loopylou6 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:54:19

Tell him to jizz in a jonny

OnlyLovers Wed 30-Mar-16 16:55:20

What's a posh wank? <<shouldn't ask really>>

ClarenceTheLion Wed 30-Mar-16 16:56:21

Keep a box of tissues on his bedside table. And if you feel like it, write For My Wanker on the box.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs Wed 30-Mar-16 16:57:22

hmm

Roseberrry Wed 30-Mar-16 16:57:56

Posh wanks are no fun though, I don't think that's fair.
I don't think he is bu to wank but it would be polite of him to either do it somewhere else or to tidy up after himself.

RubbleBubble00 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:58:55

omg that's grim.

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