I have a friend who I have known for many years, she's never been well off but the last few years she's been signed off with medical issues and hasn't been able to work.
As such she is quite short on money and will occasionally ask to borrow some from me. It has always small amounts and I didn't mind lending it to her as long as I got it back.
Things escalated recently and she started asking to borrow more and more, sometimes 2 requests a week, always smallish amounts but totalling about £300, which is not an insubstantial amount of money for me as I'm on a low income myself.
Her most recent reasons for asking have mostly been to do with her stepdad - he's got cancer, he doesn't have long left to live, he's been taken to hospital in etc etc and she's needed the money to get to the hospital and go and see him (she doesn't drive and I live 4hrs away from her).
I have lent her quite a lot now and am getting irritated by the fact she still has not paid me back anything out of the recent loans shes had, so when I got another message asking for £20 to buy back her tablet from a shop (cash converters type place), I was feeling less than willing to part with my money but I agreed on the provision that I couldn't lend her any more. She agreed and I tranferred the money to her account.
About 5 mintues later I got another message saying DSDad had been rushed to hospital again and could I lend her more to get there. At this point I had had enough and told her no. I got a slightly sarky response back along the lines of Ok, thanks anyway, I guess I'll have to walk then and it'll take me ages. She has messaged me again this afternoon saying that her DSDad has actually passed away.
Aibu to not feel guilty that I didn't lend her even more than I already had done? Obviously I'm very sorry for her loss but I had lent her money already that day and much more besides and as far as I'm concerned getting to the hospital should have been her priority. She asked me for more money only minutes later so its not possible she had already spent it. Or should I feel guilty that me not lending her the extra money meant she potentially didn't get to say goodbye to her stepdad? I'm not sure how I feel or how I should feel tbh.
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AIBU?
to not feel guilty for not lending the money?
146 replies
Timeforanamechangy · 29/03/2016 17:50
OP posts:
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