to be really annoyed at my husband

[Irn2bru]

I am totally stressed out. My ds has been poorly and was in hospital a week ago. He has an appointment tomorrow for another problem that has been ongoing since birth and I think the outcome of tomorrow will be another hospital stay.
I also have an essay due tomorrow that due to poorly ds and dd now showing signs of getting ill to I've not had time to find so will need to finish tomorrow before and after this appointment. I finish telling him I've set my alarm for
6.30 tomorrow and he decides that is the time to have a stupid disagreement about nothing in particular when I ask him to stop he carried on talking rubbish till I got annoyed and shouted at him.
I always end up being the one that looks stupid as I shout but I'm stressed and he just carries on regardless. Sorry for the rant. I just need to know if I need to apologise for shouting or if he really was being an idiot!

[pinkyredrose]

He's an idiot. Doesn't he want you to study for some reason ?

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

What was the point he was trying to make?

Your babies are ill, can the essay not wait? If not, then your DP's childcare arrangements have fallen through and he needs to step in for the kids, surely?

[GloriousGoosebumps]

It sounds as though he wanted to sabotage your studying. Perhaps he feels threatened by the thought of you having better qualifications which then lead to a better job. Kudos to you being able to study with two small children.

[BillyDaveysDaughter]

Sounds like attention seeking on his part to me. Or perhaps he is worried too and feels like you're not in it together. How you play it depends on how badly you need his support and co-operation, IME - if you can't bear an atmosphere, apologise and blame it on being stressed. It's not a lie...and it won't hurt to say sorry I shouted, even if you felt justified?

[herecomethepotatoes]

gloriousGooseBumps

"It sounds as though he wanted to sabotage your studying. Perhaps he feels threatened by the thought of you having better qualifications which then lead to a better job."

Does it? Does it really? It must be hard going through life with an attitude like yours; looking for complexities and sabotage where there isn't any. How did you jump to that conclusion? I'd put money on you being offended if a man tried to help you carry a heavy bag.

Irn2Bru

You shouted at him because you're stressed about your daughter and deadline when perhaps you'd have reacted differently without those pressures. Perhaps he was bickering because he's stressed about the hospital appointment too.

I think in my house, the conversation would be, "I'm sorry for shouting but you were being a dick. Here's a cup of tea."

Is it really a bigger deal than I've imagined?

Good luck with both stresses.

[Irn2bru]

Thank you all for answering
Herecomethepotatoes I think you are right. I'm so stressed right now I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going.
He apologised when u went up to bed So we are probably both too stressed.
Dd seems a bit better this morning and if it comes to it I will have to hand the essay in late
Thank you all again X

[Irn2bru]

I went up to bed!!

[herecomethepotatoes]

Good.

If you're talking about an essay for academic institution then get a letter from your Dr about you son (sorry, not daughter) being sick. We want to help you and if you were to get a lower mark for handing it in late then proof of mitigating circumstances can help you. Also, let them know why it will be late asap (before the deadline).

[Irn2bru]

My lecturer is aware about ds. I'm sure she will be ok about it. A letter from the dr can't hurt though thank you!

[FishWithABicycle]

People who love each other often get snappish and snarly and argumentative with each other when tired and stressed. I imagine your DH is also worried about the children. Your life is very full and something has to give. I am sure that you can get an extension on your essay deadline in order to cope with all this.

[Slutbucket]

Can you ask for an official extension?

[Ifailed]

Agree with potatoes - drop your lecturer an email this morning explaining the situation. Hope it goes will for your Dd, her health and your relationship with your DH is more important than a late essay.

[MLGs]

Agree with others re the essay.

However do think your dh was unreasonable not dropping it when you are all under so much stress.