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An MIL one.

(20 Posts)
CiderwithBuda Mon 28-Mar-16 23:45:12

I'll start by saying I love my MIL. She is DH's step mother and his dad is dead and DH is an only child. MIL doesn't have any children. She definitely considers us her family. Just for background.

She arrived for Easter on Friday night and generally we have had a nice weekend. DH struggles with her a bit - she never stops taking! - but she and I have been out and about which she enjoys. We have shopped and had lunch out etc. - all of which she loves.

So tonight is her last night here and DH cooked dinner. She disappeared off to watch tv while dipper were putting the finishing touches to the meal and having a drink. Came back just as we were serving. We had dinner and a couple of glasses of wine and then were all sat chatting at the table after we had eaten and she decided to go and watch her soaps.

So. AIBU to think it is rude to go and shut yourself in a room to watch soaps when we could all be together chatting, playing a board game or watching a film together?!

She loves DS (14) and comments that he watches too much tv and that she doesn't see enough of him! He was all set to sit and chat and be sociable and then off she trots.

I know she is getting older and we get more selfish as we get older sometimes but she always says she doesn't see enough of us and loves being with us and then th soaps take precedence on her last night!

CiderwithBuda Mon 28-Mar-16 23:45:57

Dipper? We!

AgentZigzag Mon 28-Mar-16 23:54:09

She was probably nackered (wine?) and needed a bit of down time? Maybe she just talks non-stop because she feels she has to to be sociable?

Was your DH OK with her going off to watch the box seeing as he struggles with the chattering?

YABU, but I reckon it's understandable because you've just had a visitor for a long weekend <bloody hard work> grin

grapejuicerocks Tue 29-Mar-16 00:22:21

4 days is a long time to be non stop sociable. She's probably lonely and relies on living vicariously through the soaps. I would let it go.

AntiHop Tue 29-Mar-16 00:27:54

Yabu. I disappear into another room when I visit my PiLs to watch eastenders.

curren Tue 29-Mar-16 06:52:22

Yabu. I don't watch soaps, but it's part of some peoples routine. Given she is lovely and you like her, I can't see how this would bother you tbh.

Junosmum Tue 29-Mar-16 07:00:23

Yabu, sometimes you just need down time. Especially when visiting people. Some of our friends must think I take an age to get ready, I don't I just do it slowly as I know it's the only alone time I'll get all day.

CoraPirbright Tue 29-Mar-16 07:28:59

Yanbu! My dm is exactly the same & it bloody annoys me although I can't quite tell you why! I think it's the implication that she would rather spend time with imaginary people rather than her own family, the rigidity of the obsession plus the selfishness of commandeering the TV for hours every bloody evening!! When I look at these things objectively, they aren't all that serious and I shouldn't let it get to me but it does!

Toooldtobearsed Tue 29-Mar-16 07:35:15

Yep, my vote goes to tired, talked out and just needing some 'downtime'.

When I visit my son in Brighton it is action packed from the start, lots of walking, eating, drinking, talking. I LOVE it, and love him and his partner, but will often slope off to the bedroom with my kindle for some quiet time. Reiterates me smile

I think the soaps are probably an excuse to switch off rather than a deep seated love for them.

19lottie82 Tue 29-Mar-16 07:45:43

Is it really a big deal? If that's your worse MIL problem, then you've got off lightly!

Toooldtobearsed Tue 29-Mar-16 07:48:44

It does not reiterate me.

It revigorates me.

I am about to launch my iPad with stupid autocorrect out of the window.

Rebecca2014 Tue 29-Mar-16 07:52:34

She properly just wants to recharge her batteries so to speak. She sounds like a good mil but anything to moan about, eh.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 29-Mar-16 07:54:02

I must admit, I'd struggle with being full on sociable with anyone for four days, hence why I only do a weekend max with friends or family.

I really doubt she was being deliberately rude OP, she likely just needed a bit of time for herself after what sounds like a lovely few busy days. I couldn't get worked up about this to be honest, but probably just because I can relate to her.

Scholes34 Tue 29-Mar-16 09:48:22

There are many worse things a MIL or DM could do when staying with you. My DM is an avid soap-watcher, as is my MIL. Over the years we've weaned DM off them when she stays, as she can record them to watch when she's back home. Best entertainment for my teenagers is to watch Eastenders or Coronation Street with my MIL and see how easily they can get hooked in and pick up on (the ridiculous, for the most part) story lines.

Meanwhile, I have the whole family hooked on The Archers.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Tue 29-Mar-16 10:15:43

I can share your disappointment. It's seeing your dcs all keen to engage and effectively being blocked out that does it.
Whereas I tend to want to do things i wouldn't normally do at home, and drop the dull routine, for others their routine is sacrosanct and trumps everything else. Their loss.

EssentialHummus Tue 29-Mar-16 10:19:51

I think this is such as big part of her routine (as others have said) that she can't see the parallels between what she's doing and how she commented about your DC's viewing habits.

So be it. She sounds pretty good OP, and you've gotten through four long days with her, which is more than I can do with either my parents or in-laws. Good work all round!

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Tue 29-Mar-16 10:35:20

my mother does this...

chatters all through anything we might like to watch for the first two or three days she is here and then she'll settle herself in the other room to watch the soaps and woe betide if you ask if she might like a drink "oh I'll get one when my programme is FINISHED " <hard stare>

I feel like pointing out that if she rationed out the chattering and mindelss wittering a little we'd have enough to keep us going the whole time and we'd all get to see the tv if required.

CiderwithBuda Tue 29-Mar-16 11:58:57

Lots of different opinions!

Sorry I didn't get back on until now. I fell asleep last night and haven't had a minute this morning until now. I've just taken her to the train. And I am enjoying the peace!

I agree in the grand scheme of MIL stories on here it is not a biggie. She spent this morning moaning that the time had gone too quickly! Bless her.

She had lots of downtime while here. She read her book and some magazines and watched other tv programmes. We had a quiet day in on Sunday and she persuaded DS to play Monopoly. Yesterday she sat reading while I pottered about sorting washing etc and then she wanted to go out for a drive so she and I went out and stopped for a nice pub lunch and then she wanted to go shopping so we stopped at HomeSense for a potter about. She loves doing things like that. The Monopoly game was still set up as we didn't finish so we could have played that but she wanted to watch .the Chase and the news. So I helped DH cook etc. We called her when dinner was ready and she came and ate and then as soon as she was finished went to watch the soaps!

My own mum was the same. The soaps ruled the house. Nothing could interfere with them.

I think I'm going to just be glad she feels at home enough to feel she can go off and watch her soaps while here. She is a guest and we want her to feel happy and welcome and comfortable while here and it's all part of it.

Scholes34 Tue 29-Mar-16 14:12:41

Gosh - it would have to be soaps over a continued game of Monopoly any day!

CosyNook Tue 29-Mar-16 14:39:37

Sounds like my MIL. Everything stops for them. She watches soaps on holiday and even on Christmas day shock. She goes on about how good the acting is. I hate soaps but she tells me all about them even though I have absolutely no bloody interest.

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